


Pidge does her best with what she can do.

by thestoryyouwonthear



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Hurt Pidge | Katie Holt, Mentioned Zarkon (Voltron), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pidge has PTSD now, Pidge is so smart, Pidge | Katie Holt Angst, Protective Hunk (Voltron), Protective Keith (Voltron), Protective Lance (Voltron), Protective Shiro (Voltron), Tortured Pidge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:41:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 44,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25536019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestoryyouwonthear/pseuds/thestoryyouwonthear
Summary: Shiro and the other's wake up in a Galra prison. Pidge isn't with them. But there's no need to worry right? They've been only out for a couple of doboshes, right?Turns out to be a few quintants. Pidge holds on for them.And Pidge gets them out.She now has to deal with PTSD.The team helps they best they can.Slight AU if you haven't guessed that already.
Comments: 32
Kudos: 76





	1. A battle of the mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell who's my favorite character?  
> Sorry Pidge.  
> Also I'm fixing mistakes I've made in all of the chapters. I will finish this story. So no worries.  
> Thanks for the comments.

When is a mission ever easy? 

Never. 

Pidge found this out after the first three missions in a row. She just learned to expect this for every mission. For it to just go bad. She learned to make as many plans just in case. But those plan's usually involve her team, next to her. She was good on her own but the help of her team made things go smoothly. Plus it helped that everyone made it out, alive. 

So. 

Here she was. In a Galra cell. She wasn't hurt, she was scared, well, not yet. She needed to keep her head on straight. Make a plan. She remembered everything that lead up to this point. The witch Haggar did something to the Lion's. Something to her team. She just didn't understand how she was still awake. She recalled being dragged into an empty cell. Seeing her teammates being dragged into their own cells. Unconscious. 

They looked more hurt than her. The cuffed them. They cuffed her. She fought as hard as she could. Did more damage than they thought she was capable of doing.

"Seems the small one is strong." The Garla soldier said. His voice muffled because he was on the other side of the door. 

"Hagger wants the Green Paladin." Another soldier said.

Pidge head snapped at what he just said. That wasn't a good sign. She really needed to get out of here. Pidge heard the doors opening and she charged at them. She fought hard again. She cried in pain once she felt a shock delivered to her neck. She dropped to the floor and she was picked up by her arms and dragged into the halls. 

She finally got her surroundings when she was sat on a chair and tied to it. Her stomach, her wrist, and her legs. Pidge fought every step of the way. She wasn't going to let them win.

"Ah the Green Paladin."

Pidge stopped struggling, she knew that voice. Haggar. She lifted her head and saw Haggar standing in front of her, with her Druid's next to her.

"Seems you're the only awake." A smile appeared on her face. "It also seems that Zarkon wants you alive. For now."

"Wha-what do you want?" Pidge didn't mean for her to sound so scared.

Haggar's smile seemed to get bigger at her trembling voice.

"Nothing. Just want to see how long humans can handle pain."

Pidge eyes widen. They didn't want information. They didn't want to know anything about Voltron. They didn't want anything from her. They just wanted her to feel pain? Of course. But Pidge wasn't just going to tell them. She wasn't going to tell them anything.

"Just until we get to main ship." Haggar explained. "Which might take a few quintant's. Might as well take some sample's. So that way we can figure out your species weakness easier. Let's begin."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was something very wrong. Shrio woke up with start. His mind went everywhere quickly. He was breathing hard. He tried to move but realized where he was. The purple walls and light were not a good sign. Ever.

"Guys?" Shiro said after he caught his breathe. "Anyone there?"

"'M here." Lance sounded groggy. "Ughhh...."

"I'm here." Hunk said, he sounded fine.

"Here." Keith also sounded fine.

There was silence. Waiting for one more voice to speak up. He waited for what felt like varga's but it was only tick's.

"Pidge?" Shiro called out. "Pidge are you there? Is Pidge with any of you guys?"

"No." They all mumbled out.

"Anyone hurt? Lance? You don't sound okay."

"Fine." Again, he sounded groggy. "Just got this killer headache."

Shiro tired to think of something. It seems everyone wasn't hurt. Pidge was the only missing. He also knew that they were apart from each other. So far this wasn't a good sign. Pidge could've escaped. He prayed she escaped. The Garla didn't know that they were awake, yet. From the feel of it. They weren't out for very long. He hoped.

"How long were we out?" Shiro asked. Trying to activate his Garla arm, nothing.

"Probably for only a few doboshes." Hunk said.

"You think Pidge got out?" Lance asked. He sounded a little better.

"She had to." Keith said. He sounded annoyed. Maybe worried. Maybe he was hoping that Pidge was fine too.

"We need to think of a way to get out of here." Hunk said, they all heard him shuffling around. "So far I found any lose panels or anything."

"Me either." Keith said.

"Maybe one of us can--"

"Glad to see you're all finally up."

The voice boomed, making everyone jump. Shiro knew that voice. Sendak.

"We were all so worried when you didn't wake for so long." Sendak pretended to sound hurt. "I mean your little Paladin just lost all hope."

Everyone tensed at the sound of him mention Pidge.

"But she doesn't have to worry now." Sendak said. "Take them out of their cell." He muttered to the soldiers.

Their doors opened and they all thought the same thing. Attack. But most of them failed. A shock to the body was all it took. They all heard Keith still fighting until they heard him trying to suppress a scream. They all finally saw each other as they were pulled out of their own cells. All cuffed still, soldiers all had sticks pointing to their side. Keith was dragged out of his cell.

"Well Paladins." Sendak smirked. "If you try to escape now, who will save the small one? Escape and she dies."

They seemed to understand this, Sendak smirked.

"Now. Let's go see your friend."

After walking for awhile Shiro wasn't liking this feeling. He felt like something was very wrong. How long were they out? How long have they held Pidge? Was she okay?

"How long were we out?" Lance asked one of his questions.

"Almost four quintants." Sendak chuckled.

They all seemed to be freeze. But the push of the soldiers kept them walking. All of their minds went to the worse, but they couldn't think that. Shiro seemed to not show how worried he was. There was no way they held Pidge that long.

"Your little Paladin showed great strength." Sendak said. "Too bad she lost it after the second quintant."

Anger filled all of them. They didn't like the way he said 'showed great strength'. It didn't sit well with all of them. 

"The Druid's are keeping her alive." Sendak started chuckling again. "Zarkon want all of you alive after all."

He stopped in tracks and face the other's, a smile on his face. They all held but their urge to attack him right then and there. The only reason they didn't was because of his threat against Pidge.

"Make any funny moves and she'll suffer more." Sendak said. "I'm pretty sure Zarkon won't care if she just dies."

Sendak waited for the door next to him open and he nodded for them to walk in. Shiro was the first to walk in. Keith, Lance and then Hunk followed. 

Shiro stopped in his tracks when his eyes landed on Pidge. He's pretty sure his heart stopped. His eyes widen, he felt himself shaking. But he was pushed forward. Keith did the same. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He pushed forward too. Lance and Hunk had the same reaction. Tears formed in their eyes. Lance wanted nothing more than just to go to her side.

"See." Sendak entered the room, that smile still on his face. But they weren't looking at him. "She perfectly fine."

Perfectly fine? Define 'Perfectly fine'. Maybe it's because they're Garla and Pidge is their prisoner but, this. This? This isn't fine in any way shape or form.

Pidge lifted her head, slowly but surely. Her eyes looking at each and every one of them. A weak smile appeared on her face. How could she be smiling? They all had this thought. There was no way she should be smiling.

Pidge. Pidge look and felt like hell. For some reason they left her armor on. There were burn marks on them, cracks on the armor. Blood stains everywhere. There was a main part on her armor that worried all of them. It seemed to run along side her side, a big crack and there was blood, dry blood. And some new blood running slowly down.

Keith didn't like that his own knife was in her shoulder. His first reaction upon seeing this was to make a promise to kill each and everyone of them. With that same knife. Now that was going to be promise, not to him. For Pidge.

There were also two knife's on her legs, one on each. They seemed to go deep and they seemed very long. Judging by the fact that they run through her thighs. A big wide knife ran through one of her arms. And on the same arm. Another knife in the center of her hand. Her palm was facing up and the knife... 

But her other arm. Oh god why? Her forearm was facing up and they all winced when they saw it. They opened her forearm and had metal piece's holding it open. How they hell was Pidge still awake and seemed to just smile at them. They all saw the bone. It was white and.... 

This wasn't right.

She had a black eye, busted lip, blood ran down the side of her face. There were marks on her neck.

"Aren't you fine little one?" Sendak broke their attention.

"Y-yeah."

God, her voice. She sounded like she shouldn't even be speaking right now. Shiro didn't like the fact that she responded so quickly to Sendak.

"I've brought your friends. Aren't you glad?"

"Ye-yes. Thank... y-you, si-s-sir."

They winced. They really had broken Pidge. The Garla broke Pidge. They did more than break her. They seemed to just have fun with her. Opened her flesh and just brought her pain. Nothing but pain. Anger again, quickly washed all over them.

"I heard you died on us again." Sendak stopped forward, walking towards Pidge.

The other's heart stop at what Sendak said.

'I heard you died on us again.'

Again.

Again?

Shiro slightly moved forward. Wanting to stop Sendak from walking towards Pidge.

"The Druid's power can only run through you so much little one." Sendak touched one of the knife's.

Pidge winced at the touch.

"Anyway." Sendak pull out another knife. "Since your friends are here. I should show them how much pain you can handle."

"No!" Shiro tried to move forward but he was quickly shocked, brought to his knees. "Don't touch her!"

"I'll kill you!" Keith shouted, he was also shocked. Brought to his knees as well. "Touch her and I'll kill you!"

"I'll make you pay!" Hunk, shocked, on his knees.

"Fucking bastard!" Lance had more strength.

He almost reached Sendak but was kicked back and the soldier's grabbed him. Shocked him until he was on the ground. Curled up in a ball.

"Seems your friends don't want to see how well you can handle yourself." Sendak said.

Pidge didn't react. She didn't have the strength. For god sakes. Her arm was open.

"Doesn't mean they can still hear you."

They all looked. God why did they look? They struggled in the soldiers grip. Sendak raised his arm and swiftly brought it down. A sound was heard. The sound of a loud thud.

Pidge didn't scream. God. Why wasn't she reacting? But they all saw tears running down her face. Her body moving as if she was crying. Sobbing. Her head was down.  
The hand, it land next to her. It was the hand that didn't have the knife in it.

"See?" Sendak's stupid smile had gotten bigger. "Amazing! Druid's."

They all appeared next to him.

"Take the hand, it's yours. Hagger will be glad she got more bone sample's" Sendak smile slowly disappeared once he saw the never ending blood running from where her hand once was. "Also stop the bleeding. Can't have her dying on us yet."

Sendak face the other Paladins and the smiled appeared back on his face. They looked shocked, worried, scared. He chuckled at this.

"Don't worry." Sendak said as he walked in front of the other Paladins. "After all she agreed to all of this. Didn't you little one?"

The shock on all of their face's. They turned towards Pidge who was now breathing heavily. The tears stopped, the sweat was dripping from her chin. Her skin was getting pale.

"Y-yes."

"There's no way!" Hunk struggled against the soldiers grip. "She can't even think right!"

"About four quintants ago." Sendak wiped the blood from his knife. "She had a clear mind. She begged for us not to hurt any of you. We brought one of you in but she begged and begged. She begged so much." They hated the smile on his face. "She cried and kept begging. She fought hard. So, she agreed to take your pain so you wouldn't get hurt. All of this was to protect you."

They stared in disbelief. They couldn't believe that Pidge was doing off of this for them.

"She begged for more pain." Sendak continued. "She wanted this. For all of you. I'm surprised she hasn't begged for death yet. But she will. In time."

Pidge head started going slowly down. Sendak noticed and sighed and made his way to her. The other's fought harder, afraid that he will hurt her more. Sendak went one of the small tables in the corner and pulled out a syringe. He plunged into her neck. 

Her head snapped up and her eyes widen, she seemed to gasp for air. The Druid's paid no mind to him. She seemed more aware than they first saw her.

"She's always wants to sleep." Sendak lightly slapped her check. Pidge flinched as he did. "But she knows she can't. Humans are so weak."

"Sir!" A soldier ran in. "You are needed in the main bridge."

"Very well." Sendak sighed with disappointment. Then he looked at the other soldiers holding the other Paladins down. "Don't let them escape."

He left and the Druid's seemed to be done. They poorly wrapped her hand. Or where her hand once was. They disappeared. 

"Pidge are you okay?" Shiro realized how stupid that question was.

"'m fine." Her voice sounded so weak. "No-nothing I can't h-h-andle."

"I'm going to kill them." Keith tried his best fight back against the grip of the soldiers.

"We're getting out of here." Hunk said, trying his best to sound clam. "We're getting you out of here Pidge."

"Act-....ac-..." Pidge tried her best to speak. "Activate....Activate d-deadly de-defence."

Nothing happened and Pidge groaned. The others were confused. Also they were worried. Pidge wasn't making any sense. Pidge cleared her throat and picked up her head.  
Looking at all of them.

"Activate deadly defence." Her voice was clear and somewhat loud.

They were about to ask her what she was talking about but were cut off. The soldiers that were holding them down were shocked and fell to the ground. Smoke coming from their bodies. Confused at first, but they quickly ran towards Pidge.

"Oh my god." Lance murmured as he stood next to her.

"Ac-..." Pidge huffed. She cursed. "Act-..."

"Pidge it's fine." Shiro said. "We're fine."

"Act-..." Pidge cleared her throat. "Activate self defence. Phase 4."

They tired to ask again but were cut off when their shields went up. Their bayard in their hands now. Then a loud bang, they jerked to one side. 

"Phase 6." Pidge winced from the movement.

Another loud bang and the ship moved harder.

"Phase 5."

This time that explosion was closer. Shiro and the others almost fell.

"What's going on?" Lance asked as he regained his footing. "Pidge are you doing this?"

"'C-course." Pidge head slowly dropped.

"We need to get out of here." Keith gripped his bayard.

"Help me take these out." Shiro turned towards Pidge. His hand stopped before it touched the knife. "I'm so sorry Pidge."

"'S fine." Pidge weakly picked up her head. "J-just do it."

Lance grabbed the one in her thigh. Shiro grabbed the one in her hand. As much as he hated doing this, they all had to come out. And they can't just carry the chair out with them. He knew they just had to stop the bleeding once they were out.

"On three." Shiro whispered to Pidge. "It's going to hurt."

"Alr-already does." Pidge let out chuckle.

"One."

"Two."

"Th-three."

Shiro swiftly pulled out the knife and Pidge eyes shut tight. Lance used both of his hands to pull out the one in her thigh. He struggled but he got it out. Three more to go.

"Shit!" Pidge hissed. She through her head back, eyes still closed.

"Sorry." Shiro mumbled out. He held her hand, trying his best to stop the bleeding.

"Th-the..." Pidge tried to catch her breathe. "The one i-in my arm... take it out. P-please. Hurts"

"The knife?"

"N-no." Pidge lightly shook her head.

"I got it Pidge." Hunk winced as he walked over and saw that her flesh was exposed. It already looked like it was trying to heal itself. The dried blood and the scabs that were slowly forming from the inside. "God.." He could see her bone so clearly. He winced as he grabbed what looked like forceps Her skin slowly closing.

Pidge cried out in pain and then tried her best to hold in her sobs.

"I'm so sorry Pidge." Hunk wipe away her tears as best as he could.

"P-pha-..." Pidge was trying to her best to catch her breathe. "Phase 10."

Another explosion. This time everyone held their ground.

"How are you doing that?" Lance asked.

"Ma-m-magic." Pidge lightly chuckled.

Without another word, Shiro grabbed another knife. This time the one on her arm. Lance grabbed the other in her thigh. With a nod they both pulled it out, without warning. Pidge screamed this time. They both flinched.

"Shit sorry Pidge." Lance wanted to comfort her but he knew she was in so much pain.

"Ke-k-keep going." Pidge's breathing was getting heavier.

There was only one knife to pull out. Keith grabbed the handle himself and mumbled a sorry. Pidge, this time held back cries or screams. Hunk quickly freed her from the ties that were holding her down and Pidge leaned to one side. Shiro quickly grabbed her. Carefully picking her up in his arms. She cried out again. Whimpering at the movements. 

"I'm so sorry Pidge." Shiro looked at her. Tears were forming in his eyes. "We're getting you out of here. I promise."

"Activate...." Pidge tried her best to keep her eyes open. "Activate Voltron."

Everyone seemed shocked at what she just said. Then they heard a very familiar roar. Or roar's. There was more movement throughout the whole ship this time. A small smile broke on Pidge's face.

They heard the Galra shouting and they started firing of their guns. Another roar. It was closer this time. There were explosion. Pidge felt that it was starting to get harder to breathe. Her eyes felt heavy.

"Green." Pidge's eyes finally fell shut.


	2. Shiro's mind with what's going on.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mindset of what Shiro is going through after their escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, another chapter.   
> It's short but, hope you enjoy.

There are some thing you prepare for in the whole. Something you just wait for your whole life to prepare for. 

This. This wasn't one of those times. Shiro ran through the halls holding Pidge to him. Her body seemed lifeless, well... in some weird way. She was. Her eyes were staring at nothing. Not moving. She stopped trembling. Her skin kept getting paler. 

"This way!" Keith grunted as he killed a soldier. "Through those doors!"

They all heard the roar of their lion's getting closer as they ran faster.

"Hold on Katie." Shiro was trying his best to sound strong. To stay strong. But his voice was shaky. "Please stay with us. Please."

Pidge. Katie. She was breathing, it was slowly and quite but she was breathing. If you just looked at her from a certain point of view, yes, she looked dead. But if you actually look. She was barely holding on to her life.

Lance was furious. When he saw the first Garla soldier he didn't hesitate to kill them. He shot them so many times, even when they were down and dead. Hunk wasn't any better. He fired his machine gun at anything that stood in there way. Tears ran down his face as he did so.

Keith, oh poor Keith. He put his bayard away and gripped his knife tight and showed no mercy. None.

Shiro on the other hand. He wasn't like the rest of team. They weren't holding Katie. They weren't seeing how she was looking right now. They weren't the ones who were caring her as tightly yet gently as they could. She whimpered at the movements but she feel so silent. She wasn't making any sound now.

God. Shiro watched as his team members showed no mercy, showed no emotion but rage and anger. They all had good hearts, he knew this. All good hearts. Hunk more than anyone. And yet, he was acting like a wild animal, killing everyone. Lance was the funny one who kept everyone clam. Those blue eyes seemed be showing nothing but red as he killed each Garla soldier. Keith. Shiro never seen this side of him before. Never. He thought Keith was always mad but deep down he knew Keith was just like the rest of them. But that all disappeared now. Keith didn't notice how horrible he was killing each soldier.

Shiro wanted them to stop. To calm them down but he mind wasn't fully on them now. It was on Katie. He needed to get her to the castle. She was alive and she was going to make it. He promised her that she was getting out of there.

As they ran through the hanger doors where their lions were. Shiro had never seen such a sight. It seemed their lions were acting like their Paladins. They seemed to just destroy everything. Roaring and killing everything in sight. Once they entered, Green stopped in her tracks. She faced Shiro, looking at him. No, at Katie. Without a second thought Shiro ran towards Green and prayed that she was fast enough.

Everyone entered their lions at some point. Shiro was already on Green taking off. He didn't have to control Green since she was already flying herself to the castle. And she was going as fast as she could. Shiro entered the cockpit and laid Pidge down on the ground near the pilots seat. He looked her over. He also felt Black flying next to them.

Her eyes were closed, her breathing was still the same. She seemed to be shaking now. He knew that this wasn't good. He knew that he had to do something. Anything.

"They're onto us!" Hunk shouted, his face appearing on the screen in front of the pilot's seat. "Lance, Keith!"

"On it!" They shouted.

Shiro heard them keep taking. His main focus was on Katie.

"Stay with me Katie." Shiro started putting pressure on the wounds.

Katie groaned in pain as he did so.

"I'm sorry. I have to stop the bleeding. Can you open your eyes for me?"

No response, just a pained expression on her face.

"Katie, please. Look at me. Stay with me."

"Sh-S-Shiro." Pidge slowly opened her eyes. "I-it's fine. It'll b-be ok."

He was surprised, shocked. Shouldn't he be the one calming her down, not the other way around? Something just didn't sit right with him. Something was more wrong than she let on. Or maybe he was just over reacting. God, he hoped he was overreacting.

"I know." Shiro had a warm smile. But he knows he feels tears running down his face. "We just need to--"

"Paladins!" 

Shiro head snapped towards the screen from the cockpit. It was Allura.

"Allura?!" Lance seemed to be happy. "I'm so glad to see you! How did you find us?!"

"We'll talk about that later." Allura started firing at the ships, helping them. "Aboard the castle. I'll wormhole us out of here."

Shiro looked back to Pidge. There was a small smile on her face. Her eyes were closed. She looked at peace.

"Katie?..." Shiro felt his heart stop. "Katie? Katie talk to me please. Katie?"

He grabbed her hand, carefully. She wasn't moving. Her hand felt cold, too cold. Her chest wasn't rising as much anymore. Actually. It wasn't raising at all. Panic quickly washed over him.

"Katie!" Shiro picked her up in his arms. "Katie wake up! Please!"

He felt himself sobbing. The tears were flowing down his face. She wasn't reacting to him holding her so tight. Even with all of her wounds. Either way, it felt like forever as he held her in his arms. Then he felt someone move him. 

No. No. He wasn't letting her go. Someone was grabbing her from him. No. He wanted her close to him. Through the sobs and tears he couldn't hear anything. He couldn't feel anything. But he felt as someone grabbed her gently from him and he sat on the floor, alone. Sobbing. He heard them leave with her. He also felt someone, no, two people help him to his feet.

"She's..." Shiro was guided out of the lion. "She's... n-not breathing."

"Coran is taking her." He heard Hunk say. Trying to calm him down. "He'll take care of her. We won't lose her."

"She's not breathing." Shiro repeated. "She's not breathing."

Shiro's feet were moving but he wasn't in control of them. At least it didn't feel like it. Someone was guiding him somewhere. He didn't know where. He didn't care. He wanted nothing more than to see Katie. To see her smile and laugh. To hear one of her explanations about coding. Even though he had no idea was is was saying.

Everything felt like a big blur. At some point he stopped crying. At some point the tears stopped. At some point he found himself staring at Katie.

Again. She finally like peaceful. His hand touched the glass of the healing pods and there she was. He wondered how long it had been since he lost saw her, how much time had passed. He looked around and saw everyone staring at her as well.

Lance had blood all over him. Shiro knew that wasn't his blood, it wasn't the Garla's blood. It was Katie's. He must've helped Croan with her. Then his eyes found Hunk. There was also a little bit of blood on him. It was also Katie's. Then he looked at Keith. It seemed Keith was right next to him. He didn't know that. He must've been the one to help Hunk at first then helped him. Keith's eyes seemed to be glued on the healing pod that Katie was in. 

Coran and Allura were whispering to each other. Cleaning themselves from the blood as best as they could. Allura had a more worried expression than Corna did. Of course, Coran always had his head on right, no matter the situation. He knew Coran was being the strongest out of all of them now.

It seemed Allura asked him a question and Coran had sadness in his eyes and shook his head. Allura was shocked and let out a small gasp. Coving her mouth.

Shiro got up from his spot next to Keith and walked towards Allura and Coran.

"Please tell me that she's going to be fine." His voice sounded weak.

"I'm not sure to be honest." Coran thought for a second. "There were many compilations we ran into. She might have some scars. The one on her arm, yes. That will scar. Most of them will be gone when she comes out."

"When will she come out?" An answer he needed to know.

This question seemed like everyone wanted to know, they all look at him. Worried.

"I'd say about one or two quintants." Coran put his hands behind his back. "But it could be shorter than that."

"One or two quintants?"

Why such a low number? Usually her injuries would require for her to be in there for at least longer. The number must be wrong.

"Her injuries are quiet bad Coran." Shiro face towards Pidge. "Shouldn't she be in there longer than that?"

"I'm afraid not Shiro." Allura spoke up. "It seems like there are some major injuries but none as bad as we thought."

"Bad?" Shiro wouldn't believe what he was hearing. "Bad? She died on the way here! You don't call that bad?! She stopped breathing!"

"Shiro I know your upset." Coran stepped in front of him. "But we saved her. I don't know how but the Garla knew what they were doing."

"They cut off her hand! For no reason!"

"We know." Allura stepped up from behind Coran. "But the others told us that Druid's kept her alive this whole time. We think it may have something to do with that. They must've did something to her. We can't find out what. But Coran checked over and over. Pidge will come out sooner than expected."

"Will her injuries be healed?"

"Yes. The pod's are designed to fully heal a person before they can come out."

He knew Allura was right. The pods won't let Pidge out until she's fully healed. But he was worried. He knew she won't be the same. Hell, he wasn't. Not after having to fight in the arena. But this was different. Katie was just a kid still.

The Garla held Pidge for only four quintants and he knew that in those four days, everything changed. He knew that him and the others had be there for her. Every step of the way.

They weren't going to let the Garla win this battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that chapter. Comments please. Tell me what you think and what not.  
> Again there are any maybe error's in this chapter. Tell me and I'll fix it as fast as I can.


	3. Keith's mind of what's going on.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's mind going through everything that happened.  
> From being in the cell to seeing Pidge going in the pod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again.  
> Another one. I'm trying to upload a new chapter everyday.

Keith thinks there's a fine line between slowly getting angry and then fully snapping into rage. He thinks, he isn't quite sure. But either way. He experienced both in one day. 

Actually in one varga.

Keith was the first to wake. He knows this because he called out to the others, only to hear no nothing. He didn't know whether to be relieved or scared that he was the only one who was captured. 

His mind was slowly slipping at the fact that he couldn't find a way out. It wasn't that he was going crazy but it mainly anger. Slowly, but surely the others woke. 

Sendak voice only seemed to only anger him. The bastard, he the guts to bring up Pidge to them. He remembered when they opened the doors. Keith used all of his might to charge that the Garla soldier who opened his door. He fought hard. 

That suddenly stopped when he felt pain run through out his whole body as he was shocked. He fell to the ground and he felt himself being dragged out. He felt as he was brought up to his feet and the forced him to walk with the others.

The anger was just building up inside of him. He swore that if they hurt Pidge in any way shape or form, he'll kill them. 

Shiro seemed to ask a question. How long were they out?

"Almost four quintants." The bastard chuckled as he said.

Keith's anger was just building up. The bastard had to be lying. He had too. Keith wasn't going to believe that Pidge was in the hands of the Garla for that long. He heard Sendak talk more, either way. Keith wasn't listening. He needed to get his team out, alive.

Once they stopped in the middle of the hall, Keith looked at Sendak. Keith really wanted to punch his face in. He wanted nothing more in than world just to do that. But he had to wait.

"Make any funny moves and she'll suffer more." Sendak said. "I'm pretty sure Zarkon won't care if she just dies."

The blood in Keith body boiled. He'll hurt anyone who tries to kill Pidge. That wasn't a promise or a threat. It was going to happened.

Sendak moved aside and let the others in. Shiro walked in first and Keith followed him. Keith almost bumped into Shiro. He wondered why he stopped. He saw Shiro shake in his spot. He heard Shiro breathing hard. The soldier next to him pushed him forward.

Keith now knew why Shiro stopped in his tracks. He felt the air in his lungs leave so quickly. He felt his heart stop. But like Shiro, he was pushed forward as if what they were seeing was normal.

The first thing Keith saw was he own blade. It was deep in her shoulder. Keith felt the urge to kill each and every Garla in here. He'll get her out of here and kill everyone who said no or stood in their way.

It was when he saw that blade, his balde. It was then that he knew he snapped. Because all he saw was the looks on the soldiers. They seemed proud. The ones that held them, proud. Keith would kill them first.

But all that rage died out when Pidge slowly lifted her head. Keith felt his heart start beating so fast. He felt the urge to go to her side. 

Once her head was up facing them, her eyes looking at them. A smile broke on her face. It was a weak smile but he knew she was smiling. How could she be smiling? She shouldn't be smiling.

His mind was racing. He knew Pidge, they were close. If anything they shared a bond over being the arms of Voltron. This bond grew and Keith felt like an older brother to her. 

So as her older brother. Keith felt the rage build up again. He would let his rage be the one to get them out, to get her out. To have her never feel any pain again. As her older brother, Keith would make sure she would never ever have to go through this again. Not as long as he lived, not as long as air filled his lungs. Not as long as his heart was still beating.

"Aren't you fine little one?" Sendak broke his thoughts. He would gladly kill Sendak with his bare hands to get that stupid smirk on his face.

"Y-yeah."

Keith winced at her voice. He couldn't wait for him to get free of his cuffs. He would gladly see to it that Sendak died by his hands. He would do it right now if he could.

"I've brought your friends. Aren't you glad?"

"Ye-yes. Thank... y-you, si-s-sir."

Keith winced again. No matter the case. Keith already made a plan on how to kill each and every Garla soldier. The anger was still growing. He saw her wounds, her pain. Keith wanted nothing more than to take that all away. 

"I heard you died on us again." Sendak stopped forward, walking towards Pidge. 

Keith felt himself slightly move forward. His heart stopped. 

'I heard you died on us again.'

Again.

Again?!

Oh Keith wasn't going to show any mercy on any Garla soldier. He was going to make sure they all died painfully.

"The Druid's power can only run through you so much little one." Sendak touched one of the knife's.

Pidge winced at the touch. Keith felt the rage in him burn. He felt the cuffs rub hard against his wrist, he didn't care.

"Anyway." Sendak pull out another knife. Keith's stomach did a flip. "Since your friends are here. I should show them how much pain you can handle."

Keith heard Shiro shout something. Keith felt that rage. He needed to do something.

"I'll kill you!" Keith shouted as loud as he could. He felt a shock to his side and felt as the Garla soldier bring him to his knees but the pain he felt didn't matter. "Touch her and I'll kill you!"

His eyes made way to Pidge. She wasn't moving. She didn't have the strength to move. God. She was so small.

"I'll make you pay!"

Keith heard Hunk shout. But his eyes where still on Pidge.

"Fucking bastard!" 

He watched Lance charge towards Sendak. Lance was quickly kicked back and shocked. Keith heard it all as he watched Pidge. He wanted to move. He wanted to shout. He wanted to do something. But why? Why couldn't he move? Why couldn't he shout? Why couldn't he do something?

"Seems your friends don't want to see how well you can handle yourself." Sendak said.

Keith eyes made their way to Sendak. That smile on his face that Keith wanted so badly to wipe off of his face.

"Doesn't mean they can still hear you."

Sendak's voice rang through his ears. Then it hit Keith. Sendak was going hurt her. Bring her more pain. Keith's rage was starting to build up again. God he felt himself struggle against the soldiers grip. He tried to stand but they held him down hard. He tried to move forward but couldn't.

Sendak raise his arm. Keith struggled harder. He wasn't going to let him do that. Sendak's hand was down. In a blink of an eye Keith heard a loud thud. He felt himself stop breathing but he felt his chest move. 

Keith felt frozen. He eyes were on the hand that laid on the floor. His eyes made there way to Pidge and she was holding in sobs. Even though her head was down. He could see the tears running down her face. A voice was talking. He didn't know who. He didn't care.

His eyes were still on Pidge who was sobbing. He could've swear he saw blood run down her chin. She wanted to cry out. She wanted to scream. Keith knew that she probably bit her tongue.

Rage. That rage he felt was gone. It was replaced with pure shock. He felt himself trembling.

"Don't worry." Sendak said as he walked in front of them. "After all she agreed to all of this. Didn't you little one?"

Shocked. Keith wasn't believing a word he was saying. He looked at Pidge again. Those tears seemed to stop. Keith could see now that sweat was starting to drip from her chin. God. He skin was getting pale.

"Y-yes." A small whisper voice came out.

"There's no way!" Keith felt Hunk struggle against the soldiers grip. "She can't even think right!"

"About four quintants ago." Sendak wiped the blood from his knife. "She had a clear mind. She begged for us not to hurt any of you. We brought one of you in but she begged and begged. She begged so much." Keith wanted that stupid smile to just go away. "She cried and kept begging. She fought hard. So, she agreed to take your pain so you wouldn't get hurt. All of this was to protect you."

Keith couldn't believe it. Pidge did this for them? Of course she would. Keith would've done the same thing.

"She begged for more pain." Keith heard Sendak continued. "She wanted this. For all of you. I'm surprised she hasn't begged for death yet. But she will. In time."

Keith watched as her head slowly started to drop. Keith felt his heart stop. His mind went through the worst. He watch Sendak walk towards her. Keith struggled again. He wasn't going to let Sendak hurt her again. He watched as Sendak brought a needle to her neck and Pidge head shot up. Eyes wide and she gasped for air. 

Keith was still struggling against the soldiers. He needed to get her out.

"She's always wants to sleep." Sendak lightly slapped her check. Pidge flinched as he did. "But she knows she can't. Humans are so weak."

Keith was going to cut off his hands. One for her hand and one for touching her.

"Sir! You are needed in the main bridge."

Keith heard a soldier yell as he ran in. Keith was still fighting against the grip of the soldiers. Sendak said something to the soldiers holding them down. Sendak left and Keith was still trying to fight his way out.

"Pidge are you okay?" Shiro asked.

"'m fine." Her voice sounded so weak. "No-nothing I can't h-h-andle."

"I'm going to kill them." Keith tried his best fight back against the grip of the soldiers. 

Then everything seemed to happen so fast. Pidge was speaking as best as she could. She got them out. He didn't know what or how she did it. But he was so glad. Shiro was trying his best to get her out. 

Keith flinched and winced as they pulled out the knifes. He wanted them to stop because they were hurting her. He watched as Pidge did her best to hold in any screams or cries. The bayard in his hand felt somewhat right. 

He heard Lance and Shiro talking to Pidge, and Pidge tried her best to talk back. He looked around the room and saw the bodies of the soldiers that were holding them down dead. 

He heard Hunk say something as he walked towards Pidge. Her arm was open. He saw the bone. He watched as Hunk removed what was holding her arm open and she cried out in pain.

Keith felt tears forming in his eyes. God they were hurting her. But he knew that they weren't doing it like the Garla were. A tear fell down.

He looked away. He didn't want to see. The grip he had on his bayard was tight. He heard the others talking and heard a chuckle come out of her. Then shortly followed, a scream.

Keith head snapped towards her, Lance and Shiro tried their best to comfort her. 

"Ke-k-keep going." Pidge's breathing was getting heavier.

There was only one knife to pull out. Keith stepped forward and put a hand gently on her good shoulder. A hand on the handle of his blade.

"I'm so sorry Pidge." Keith mumbled out. "I'm sorry."

Keith wanted to pull it out as quickly as he could. He wasn't going to cause her anymore pain. In one swift move, the blade was out. He heard Pidge hold in her cries or screams.  
Once the knife was out Keith looked at it. This was Pidge's blood. His blade was covered in her blood. They used his knife and hurt her with it. The bayard didn't feel right because this was the knife he was going to use to kill any Garla soldiers. This felt right in his hands.

"Activate...." Pidge tried her best to keep her eyes open. "Activate Voltron."

Pidge was always full of surprises.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Keith finally let the rage and anger take over. Once Shiro picked her up and those doors opened. He let loose. He killed everyone and everything that stood in there way. He wasn't going to let the Garla hurt Pidge anymore. He wasn't going to even let them look at her.

All that rage and anger seemed to blind him from what he was doing. He found himself running. He felt Red calling him. He felt Red's anger too. He jumped in his lion as Green took off. He was going to try his damn best to protect her.

He took out every ship and always checked on Green. Lance and Hunk had the same idea. He was glad that they thought the same thing. 

"Paladins!" Allura appeared on the screen in front of them. 

Lance appeared on screen as well. Allura was going to wormhole them out. Good. He board the castle and they got out of the Garla's range. Keith ran out of his lion as soon as she touched the hanger. He needed to see Pidge.

He ran as fast as he could. He saw Green leaning down, mouth open. Entering mouth he heard crying. It was Shiro. Keith ran again.

Shiro was holding Pidge tightly in his arms. Tears ran down his face. Keith couldn't move. Pidge was pale, more so than ever. She had a small smile on her face. Her eyes were closed. Shiro was crying out her name.

Keith felt someone brush past him and try their best to calm down Shiro. He watched as Allura carefully grab Pidge from Shiro's arms. Once she got Pidge she ran out yelling something. Keith saw Shiro sitting on the floor. Alone. He was still sobbing.

Keith watched as Hunk kneel next to Shiro. Hunk was trying to help Shiro up. Keith ran to Shiro's other side and help him up to his feet.  
They helped out of the lion and Hunk was trying to talk to Shiro.

"She's..." Shiro tried to speak through his sobs. "She's... n-not breathing."

Keith wanted nothing more than to cry with Shiro. He was right. Pidge wasn't breathing. But right now, Shiro needed him.

"She's not breathing. She's not breathing."

Shiro was repeating this over and over until they exited the hanger.

"Take him to the pods." Hunk looked at Keith. "I have to help the others."

Keith didn't say anything but nod. He looked at Shiro who was staring at nothing. The tears on his face weren't stopping. God, he never seen Shiro like this. 

He found his way to the healing pods and he sat Shiro down. Shiro was in a daze. The tears were slowly stopping but still going. Keith looked at Shiro's armor. Pidge's blood.

Grabbing the cloth he always kept around his knife, Keith started wiping of the blood off of Shiro's face. Shiro wasn't having any sort of reaction. He started on the armor once the blood on his face was gone. He tried his best but he got most of it.

"She'll be alright." Keith didn't know if he was telling Shiro that or himself. "She'll be okay. She's safe. Pidge is strong. We don't have to worry. Allura and Coran--"

He voice was cut off when he heard screaming. Keith jumped a bit and realized who was screaming. Keith quickly covered Shiro's ears. He didn't know if Shiro could even hear her screams but either way, he wasn't going to let him hear her.

His hands felt like they stayed there forever. Keith felt tears run down as she screamed. 

Soon enough, Pidge was being helped into a healing pod.

Keith watched as the pod closed and Pidge look peaceful. His eyes stuck to her. As an older brother. This wasn't going to happened again, ever. Not to anyone on this team. Not to his second family. 

He was going to make sure of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that. Again comment about what you think. Tell me if there's anything wrong or mistakes, I'll try to fix them as fast as I can. There are error's in here.


	4. The Garrison Trio. The two out of the three help the one.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk and Lance. Two of the three help the one, Pidge.  
> What they went through as they help Allura and Coran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter. Sorry for not posting one yesterday.  
> But I hope you enjoy this short one. I'll write Pidge's recovery soon.

The Garrison Trio were always close.

At first it was only Lance and Hunk. Later, Pidge joined. Two friends added one more and they called themselves the Garrison Trio. Lance named it, Hunk like it. Pidge rolled her eyes at the name. But in time she grew to love it. She didn't say it but the trio knew.

After joining Voltron and becoming Paladin's, they grew closer. Pidge grew closer towards them. Hunk and her would talk tech stuff that Lance didn't understand. Lance was a good listener. He was a good friend. Lance made her smile and laugh when she didn't feel like it.

Lance had gotten very good at cheering her up. He had gotten used of her talking about stuff he didn't understand. They played video games together. They bonded over time.

Hunk loved that fact that Pidge came to him about anything tech related whenever she got stuck on something. He loved helping her, and she helped him. Tasting new foods combines and what not.

They seemed unbreakable. No. They were unbreakable. And they always will be. Nothing or no one can break the trio apart. 

Nothing.

Lance watch as Allura picked up Pidge in her arms carefully.

"Coran get the medbay ready!" Allura shouted as she rushed out.

Hunk watched as Coran ran as fast as he could ahead of them. He saw Shiro on the floor still. Then he looked at Keith. He needed to get them out help them before he could help Pidge. He walked passed Keith. brushing past him and kneeled next to Shiro.

"Let's get out of here Shiro." Hunk tried to help him but he felt all of Shiro's weight on him.

He watched as Keith help and they started walking out.

The words Shiro said made him want to throw up. Because Shiro was right. Pidge wasn't breathing. He needed to be there for her. He looked at Keith was seemed shocked but not as bad as Shiro.

"Take him to the pods." He looked at Keith. "I have to help the others."

He watched as Keith nodded his head and Hunk trusted him to do what he was told and run ahead, running towards the medbay.

Lance watched as Allura and Coran quickly take hold of the situation. They seemed to know what to do. Lance didn't know what to do. He felt like he would get in the way if he tried anything. 

He watched as they took off her armor and talking to each other. Lance wasn't really listening. He just saw Pidge laying there. The color in her skin was just too pale.

"Lance help us!"

He heard someone say. Lance moved his feet and he felt something brought to his hands.

"Stop the bleeding."

Lance felt someone move his hands to Pidge's thighs. He noticed that the bleeding didn't seem to stop. He put pressure but he felt the hands put more pressure. He didn't want to hurt Pidge more than he wanted too but he heard someone say put more pressure.

Lance did as he was told and soon enough Hunk found his way next to him.

Hunk was talking to them but Lance again, he wasn't listening.

Hunk watched as Lance seemed to be in a daze. But he was doing what he was told.

"Coran." Allura looked frantic as she looked at him. "Is it ready?!"

"Yes!"

Corna placed a small device on Pidge's chest and it beeped for a second. Pidge seemed to jerk a bit. Coran and Allura seem to keep working on her and Coran took the device off of her chest. Pidge was slowly starting to wake up.

Hunk watched as her eyes slowly opened.

Lance seemed shocked about what was going on. He saw Pidge try to sit up but Allura said something to her, trying to lay her back down.

"L-let..." Pidge tried her best to fight against Allura. "Let....m-me go."

"Pidge its fine." Hunk tried to talk to her but Pidge flinched at his touch.

"No." Pidge said weakly. "No. L-let me g-go!"

Lance felt tears start forming in his eyes. He knew Pidge was thinking that she was back with the Garla and they were hurting her. He wanted to speak but he couldn't find his voice.

"Pidge, it's Hunk." Hunk pushed her hair back from her face. He didn't care about the sweat that ran through his fingers. "It's fine. You're safe. You're back home."

"N-no!" Pidge seemed to get her strength back. "Le-let me g-go! Stop!"

Hunk tried his best to calm down Pidge but he was failing at it. Lance tried his best with what he was doing. Allura and Coran were talking to each other. 

"We need to stop the bleeding." Coran said.

Coran started taking off the poorly wrapped bandage from were her hand once was. He flinched as the bandages seemed to sticking to her skin. Pidge screamed. It was too much pain for her to handle right now.

Coran said sorry in between her screams and tried his best not to hurt more than he should have to. He needed to wrap it properly and make sure she would be ready for the healing pod. Allura was trying her best to check the other wounds.

Pidge was now fighting hard against them. Her blood seemed to get everywhere on them. But she wasn't losing that much blood than it looked like. Blood smeared on their armor and clothes.

Lance was told at some point to hold her down because she was fighting to hard. He held down her legs and she tried to kick as much as she could. He was surprised she had this much strength, considering her injuries. 

Hunk was still trying to calm her down. He would whisper that she was fine over and over again. Whisper that she wasn't there anymore. Whispered that she was home. He felt himself saying these things until he felt her stop moving.

She stopped screaming and started crying. Sobbing. The tears on Hunk's face, he didn't know that he was crying, were just flowing down his face.

"We need to get her to the healing pod." Allura said as she held Pidge's hand. "We the best we could. The healing pod will do the rest."

"I'll set it up." Coran ran out to the pods.

Hunk was still whispering to Pidge who stopped sobbing but the tears weren't stopping. He looked over to his friend. Lance was in a daze that he couldn't get out of. He heard her screams and cries. Telling them to stop and please let her go. God Lance never heard her beg and plead like that. He never wanted to hear that again.

At some point Lance felt Hunk by his side and Hunk lead him outside.

"Allura needs to change her." Hunk whispered. "Once she's done we need to help her. Okay?"

Lance felt himself nod and Hunk just guided him out to the healing pods. Hunk sat Lance down and saw Keith and Shiro sitting in place.

Keith seemed to cover Shiro's ears and was in a state of shock. He knew at some point that Keith would go into one like Shiro did. Now it was Lance's turn. Hunk knew it was a matter of time until he did. 

In some way he did, when they broke out of the Garla ship. Looking back he doesn't remember the fight and doesn't remember flying Yellow. He doesn't remember how he helped the others out of that Garla ship.

He wonders if the others were in the same sate he was in. He wonders if he would ever remember how he got them out. He wonders if he would wants to even remember it.

Hunk sat Lance down who seemed to barely come out of his shock.

Lance wasn't in shock as Hunk thought. Lance remembered everything. He just felt himself not wanting to move or anything. He wanted to move. He wanted to do something. He would usually spring into action but this time he didn't.

He didn't know why. It was an act of instinct that he sprang into action to help someone. But this time, where someone he knew. Someone he cared about was hurt. Pidge needed him but he didn't do anything. He heard everyone talking around him. He did what he was told.

Hunk looked at Lance who looked back at Hunk. He couldn't read his expression. It was a mix of emotions. He didn't know what. Anything but happy.

"S-she'll be alright?" Lance asked. Tears seemed to start slowly down.

"Yeah." Hunk sat Lance down. "Here."

Hunk handed a clean cloth and Lance took it. He didn't know why Hunk gave him this. Once Hunk left he let his arm drop to his side and looked at Keith and Shiro who seemed to be frozen in place.

Hunk ran back to Coran who just exited the room.

"I set the pod." Coran said. "I scanned Pidge. Everything is ready to go."

"Allura need help?" Hunk asked.

"I think you should go to the others. They seem to need you right now. We've got Pidge."

Hunk nodded. He knew that Pidge was in good hands with Allura and Coran. Hunk made his way back to the others who were slowly coming out of their shock. Lance turned his head to Hunk who entered. Hunk just sat next to Lance. Knowing that Lance like being by his side.

Hunk put a hand on Lance's shoulder and tried his best at a smile now. It was weak and small. But he wanted to Lance to in some way, to snap out of it. He needed Lance right now.

Hunk head snapped towards the doors that opened. Allura carefully carried Pidge. Pidge was awake. She seemed to be looking at Allura. Hunk saw Pidge's lips move and Allura who had a soft smile, nodded. 

Lance finally looked up at them. He seemed to be more aware. Lance's smile seem to appear on his face.

Pidge was alive. Pidge was going to be okay. Pidge was home.

The Garrison Trio were apart. Now they were one once again. Hunk and Lance were going to make sure that the trio would never break apart again.

The Garrison Trio were now one again.


	5. Allura and Coran are trying to help.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura and Coran help Pidge. They help into the healing pod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting for awhile. Babysitting is a full time job.

The Paladins were missing. 

Shiro, Keith, Lance, Hunk and Pidge. All missing as if they didn't exist. The lion's were missing. But at this time and point. Allura and Coran were more worried about the Paladins, not the lion's.

After they went missing they both did their best to find them. Searching as far and hard as they could. Only to find nothing. Every trail lead to a dead end. But that didn't stop them from looking. They needed to find them.

The second quintant they were still searching. Allura was holed up in the main control room. Coran was still helping her, bringing her food and whatever she needed to keep looking and still keeping her healthy.

The third quintant Coran told her she needed to rest, sleep. Allura refused. Her mind only to find the Paladins. He convinced her and she found herself asleep in her room. Coran was still searching . He knew that them missing for this long wasn't a good sign. It wasn't a good sign since that they were missing for the first varga. So this was more than bad. 

After all they were there when they went missing. It was a huge battle. They were helping a planet get rid of the Garla. It was going well but in the end something happened. The Witch Haggar did something. Allura knew it. Coran knew it. A huge wave of energy shot at Voltron as it was attacking another ship. It made them part into their single lions. They seem to drift in space. Allura tied her best to keep her eyes on them but they seem to drift further and further. Allura and Coran tried their best to get to them but the attacks from the other ships were taking heavy fire.

In the end, they lost sight of the other lions. First they lost sight of the Yellow lion. Then Red. They seem to lose them one by one. Of course they tried to contact them but to no avail.

They knew that the Garla wouldn't just let them drift into space, so they knew that the Garla had them.

It was on the third quintant they decided to go after Zarkon. They knew by now that they would have been in Zarkon's hands. They hoped that they were very wrong. That in some way that they escaped and are finding their way back home. But it's been three quintants.

The four day. They've got a signal. Well more like signals. Four of them. They knew that signal so they knew that this was a good sign. It was the Paladins. Coran quickly locked into their location and arrived on the scene.

They weren't surprised as they saw each lion fighting. The black lion seemed to be fighting more than ever. But she didn't know if that was true. The other lions were fighting more than ever also.

"Coran!" Allura looked at him. "Cover them. I'll see if they can board."

Coran didn't say anything but nod his head.

"Paladins!" Allura made their faces appear in her screen.

Lance, Hunk and Keith were on the screen but not Shiro and Pidge. This wasn't a good sign. 

"Allura!" Lance shouted, hope now in his eyes. "I'm so glad to see you!" He looked like he was about to cry. "How did you find us?!"

"We'll talk about that later." Allura started firing at the ships, helping them. She needed them to be safe before discussing anything else. "Aboard the castle. I'll wormhole us out of here."

Green was the first on board then Black. The other lions were still covering for them. Allura hoped that in some messed up way it was Shiro. That Shiro was hurt. Because... she didn't want Pige to be hurt. Pidge was only a child in Allura's and Coran's eyes. In their eyes she wasn't meant to fight their war, but she was. 

They knew that the lions wouldn't just chose anyone to fight with. They knew that to become a Paladin you must have great heart and strength to fight. They knew that Green chose Pidge since the day she was born.

So they hoped Shiro was hurt but not too bad. Once Green landed first they ran to the hanger. Allura entered and saw the other just watching. Fear struck Allura. Coran was right behind her. They heard someone mumbling something, no a name.

"Kaite." It was Shrio, he was crying. "Katie please."

Allura never seen him like this. She saw Pidge's expression. How her body was motionless. How her skin seem more paler than ever. 

"Shiro," Allura kneeled down next to him. "I need to take her. We can save her."

Shiro didn't response. He had a firm grip but it wasn't too tight for her to pull her away from him. Her carefully picked Pidge up from his arms and he sobbed harder.

"Katie..." Shiro was looking at his now empty arms.

"Coran get the medbay ready!"

She used all of her will to run out. She watched as Coran ran as fast as he could. She knew Lance wasn't that far from behind her.

It felt these halls seemed longer than ever. Once she reached the medbay she saw Corna already waiting.

"Take off her armor." Coran said. He voice was calm but Allura knew better. "We must see her wounds."

Allura obeyed and they started taking off her armor. Allura winced as she saw a big crack on her side. It was black and bloody. She knew that Pidge's must've took quite a hit for the armor to even crack this huge.

"The Druids." Lance mumbled as he seemed to be out of it. "They kept her alive..."

Allura and Coran he mind wasn't in the right place. That his mouth was moving but they knew he was right.

Pidge did have some sort of weird quintessence in her body. She couldn't explain it but she knew that this did have something to do with what Lance said.

"That Druids." Lance repeated. "Sendak... Haggar..."

"Lance." Allura tired to get his attention. "Lance!"

Lance seem to just stare at Pidge.

"Lance help us!" Allura shouted as she shoved clean rags into his hands. " Stop the bleeding."

They saw he wasn't moving but the words seem to hit him. Coran grabbed Lance's hands so he could stop the bleeding in Pidge's thighs. Coran told him to put more pressure so the bleeding could stop.

They didn't stop when Hunk ran in.

"What can I do to help?" Hunk asked as he made his was next to Lance.

"Help stop the bleeding." Coran said as he went through the cabinets next to him.

Allura watched as he started fumbling with the device that could save her. They knew Pidge wasn't going to make if they waited too long.

"Coran." Allura looked frantic as she looked at him. "Is it ready?!"

"Yes!"

Coran placed the small device in the middle of her chest. Allura heard the beeping and felt Pidge jerk. Allura was still looking into her wounds. Trying her best to fix her up before she went into the healing pods.

Allura was glad when she felt Pidge slowly move. She also felt Pidge try to sit up.

"Pidge you need to lay down." Allura place a hand on her good shoulder. "You're safe."

"L-let..." Pidge tried her best to fight against Allura. "Let....m-me go."

"Pidge its fine." Hunk tried to talk to her but Pidge flinched at his touch.

Allura didn't like this. Pidge wasn't thinking right.

"No." Allura didn't like how Pidge's voice sounded now. "No. L-let me g-go!"

Allura heard and watched as Hunk tried his best to calm down Pidge. Allura knew what Pidge was thinking right. She knew that Pidge thought she was back on that Garla ship. She hated the thought of that. 

"We need to stop the bleeding." Coran said.

"Stop!" Pidge screamed. "P-please! Just let me go!"

He looked at Allura who just nodded as she looked at her wounds. Allura hated that Coran had to do what he was doing. Taking off the poorly wrapped bandage were her hand once was. Coran and Allura flinched as the bandage seemed to be sticking to her wound.

Pidge screamed. Allura tired her best to ignore her screams and focus more on her wounds.

"I'm sorry." Coran seemed to be focus more than the others. "I'm so sorry Pidge."

Allura started putting pressure on her shoulder wound after checking her other wounds. Pidge kept screaming. Allura felt Pidge start to fight against them.

She flet Pidge's hand on her face, trying to stop Allura from hurting her more. Allura grabbed her hand while kept her other hand on her shoulder. She tried to hold Pidge's hand but Pidge was fighting still. 

"We need to hold her down." Coran said. "Lance her down her legs. Allura her arms. I can't work on her if she's moving around too much."

Allura and Lance did what they were told. Allura heard Hunk crying as he tried to whisper to Pidge.

"It's fine." He said through sobs. "It's okay. You're safe."

For Coran and Allura it felt like it had been forever. But they knew it wasn't that long. Allura felt tears run down her face. She looked up at Coran up was crying too.

Allura watched as Pidge slowly started to calm down a bit. She was just sobbing on the table. The tears flowing down that side of her face. Allura grabbed her hand carefully. 

"We need to get her to the healing pod." Allura looked at Coran. "We did the best we could. The healing pod will do the rest."

"I'll set it up." Coran nodded and ran out to the pods.

Allura looked at Pidge then the others. Hunk seemed to be still talking to Pidge. She stopped sobbing but the tears seemed to not stop. Allura watched as Hunk's gaze went towards Lance. They both looked at Lance who seemed to be in a daze.

"Get him to the others." Allura looked at Hunk. "I need to change Pidge. I think it's best if you two waited outside."

Hunk nodded and walked towards Lance. They went outside and Allura looked down at Pidge.

"Pidge." Allura rubbed Pidge's tears away. "I need to change you. For the healing pods. Okay?"

"I-i-it hurts." Pidge cried. "A-Allu...'Lura. P-please."

Allura tried her best to be as gently as possible. Pidge cried and whimpered as she did so but Allura did it. Once she was done she let Pidge lay there for a bit.

"Princess it's ready." Coran walked in. "Is she ready?"

"Yes." Allura nodded, she held Pidge's hand. "Could you scan her? I feel some weird quintessence in her."

Coran nodded and grabbed a device that was nearby and scanned her. She watched as he frowned and then scanned her again. Then again.

"What is it?" Allura asked.

"Well..." Coran frowned, looked at Allura. "There are some sort of weird quintessence running throughout her body now. I scanned to see if this will affected the healing pod and it seems it will."

"How?"

"The pod will only heal her for at least one to two qunitants. Seems the druids did do something to her. I could run some more scans but that might take longer. Longer than a couple of vargas."

"But the pod will heal her?"

"Yes. It should heal her wounds. But she'll be coming out sooner."

"I'll bring her out."

Allura watched as Coran lefted and she carefully picked Pidge up in her arms. Pidge whimpered at bit but she pulled through.

"'Lura." Pidge's voice still sounded weak and small. "T-the others?"

"They're safe." Allura said as she walked to the room with the healing pods.

"They're s-safe?" 

Allura looked down at Pidge and nodded. Allura wanted to cry but she felt that might give Pidge the wrong idea.

After putting her into the pod, Allura looked at Coran who finally seemed to sit down. He looked exhausted. 

She knew that she needed to do something about this. She didn't want this to happen again. She knew the others had questions. She would try her best to answer them.

Allura and Coran were going to make sure any other Paladin weren't going to go through the same. 

Ever.


	6. Pidge is finally awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge finally comes out of the healing pod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was kinda rushed. So it may seem everywhere. Sorry.

Needless to say, Pidge has never been in a healing pod. Sure she's been injured in a fight but not too serious for her to go in one. Everyone knew this. In some way they also knew that she hated the healing pods. They didn't know why, Pidge didn't know why either.

Pidge felt herself fall forward but was caught before she could hit the ground. Her mind was foggy and her eyes were closed shut. She opened them for bit but quickly closed them. The light was way too bright right now. She realized that a pair of arms were holding her. She quickly tried to push them away but found that her strength wasn't fully back yet.

"It's okay." The voice was soft and warm. "It's just me."

"'Lura?" Pidge then suddenly felt a little better. "What...?"

The others looked at Pidge who eyes slowly closed. Allura let Pidge lan on her and felt her whole weight on her. They knew that the healing pods made you feel tired but not for too long. 

"Should we take her to her room?" Keith asked, breaking the silence.

"We should." Shiro said.

Allura nodded and picked Pidge up in her arms and headed to the Green Paladins room. The others didn't know what to do. It was this moment they've all been waiting for. For Pidge to finally come out of the healing pod. The last two quintants were slow and seem to drag.

The first quintant they didn't know what to do with themselves. As soon as they got out of their armor they went to sit back at the healing pods. Coran and Hunk made sure everyone ate something.

It was at this first day Hunk and Lance thought of idea. They thought it was be a good idea to start working on a prosthetic hand for her. Something they knew that she would love and want. For Hunk it was something hard to do. They already had a somewhat prototype. It was a work from Shiro's prosthetic arm. They just used the hand. Lance tried his best to do what he could to help Hunk. Coran even helped too.

They didn't get very far since Pidge was just going to be in there for only two quintants. Hunk of course had to make the hand smaller.

They all sat waiting on the second quintant. Time for all of them seemed to go by really slow. 

\------------------------------------

Pidge woke up in a cold sweat. She sat up in her bed and looked around, frantic. She felt her heart rate slow go back to normal when she saw where she was at. Her room. She saw that she was in the white clothing, the one you would wear when you're in the healing pod. 

Her eyes landed on Allura who sat next to her bed. A warm smile on her face.

"Allura?" Pidge asked. "How did I get here?"

"I brought you here." Allura stood up and sat herself on the bed, next to Pidge. "You fell asleep as soon as you got out of the pod."

"Right." Pidge sighed and closed her eyes.

The memories came back to her. Every. Single. Memory. Pidge opened her eyes and she looked at her hands. Well hand. Of course it was real. Of course Sendak actually did it. She looked at her hand and saw a huge scar in the center of her palm. The knife. 

She felt her eyes going back to her where her hand once was. Her now stump. It was a weird and horrific feeling. Knowing that what happened and knowing that her hand was actually gone. She felt herself starting to breathe hard. She wanted to move her fingers but there was nothing there. She wanted it to just be a dream. Just for it to not be real. For what happened to not happen.

No matter how hard Pidge tied to look away her eyes found them back to her stump. She felt angry. Sad. The Garla did this.

"It's okay."

Pidge felt herself pressed up against Allura. She didn't know she was crying until she felt her own tears pressed up against Allura. 

"I-it's gone." Pidge breathe out. "It's a-actually g-gone."

"It's going to be okay." Allura whispered, rubbing her hand against Pidge's back. "Maybe you should change. How does that sound?"

Pidge didn't say or do anything. Soon enough she was sobbing against Allura. Her mind was reliving every memory of what the Druid's did to her. What Haggar did to her. What Sendak did to her.

Why did she remember? To Pidge it just wasn't fair. Shiro didn't remember anything. He only lived with nightmares and flashbacks. He only relieved those memories every now and then. But Pidge. She had to relive with every memory. Relive it everytime she closed her eyes.

"Katie?"

Pidge looked through watery eyes and saw Shiro looking at her. Tears running down his face.

"S-Shiro?" Pidge sobbed out.

She reached out her arm like a child would who wanted their parents. Allura moved aside and let Shiro hug her. 

"I'm so sorry Katie." Shiro mumbled out. "I'm sorry."

Pidge countied to cry until she fell back asleep. Shiro held her hand as she slept.

"This shouldn't have happened." Shiro whispered out, careful not to wake Pidge up. "Not to her or anyone on this team."

"But it did." Allura looked at Shiro. "Pidge seems to remember."

"I wonder how much."

"Probably enough. The healing pod closed every wound. Physically she's fine. But the quintessences that running throughout her body now is something different."

"You think it might affect her?"

"It might. It not enough to panic about but it's enough to worry. Coran is going to have to run some test to see what it could be. If she does remember then maybe she could help us. It might--"

"No." Shiro had a hint of anger in his voice. "I'm not going to let her relive through it again. For god sake Allura she's just a kid. What they did to her.... To be honest we don't know. None of us truly know."

"Maybe we should talk about this another time." Allura let out a small sigh.

\-------------------------

Pidge was struggling against the metal bounds that held her down. She struggled hard, she didn't care about the bruises that were forming on her wrist.

"Let's begin."

Pidge felt panic run throughout her body. Haggar had a smile she never saw on her before.

"Should we take off the armor?" One of the Druid's asked.

Haggar seemed to think about it. But that smile never left her face. Her eyes never felt Pidge's eyes.

"No" Haggar chuckled. "I think we should test out the armor for ourselves. See how strong it really holds."

"Fuck--"

Pidge felt her body on fire as Haggar shocked her with her power. Pidge didn't cry out or scream out. She held it in as her body continued to feel like it was on fire.

It stopped suddenly as it started. Pidge let her head down as she was breathing very hard.

"You'll learn not to speak until you are told." Haggar said. 

Pidge tried to catch her breathe as Haggar moved her way next to her.

"Never." Pidge said in between breaths. "Stupid bi--"

Her body tensed and the fire sensation started again. Pidge clenched her fist and her head was facing the ceiling. Electricity was running everywhere throughout her body. Pidge was still holding in the cries and screams she wanted to let out. It stopped, letting Pidge catch her breathe again.

"Seems you have a lot to learn Green Paladin."

"Go die in a--"

It started again. Pidge knew that her mouth was someday going to get her in trouble. She just wished it was during training or in school. Not in the hands of the enemy.

"Now." Haggar stopped.

Pidge felt herself getting tired. It was already too much. She didn't know how much of it she could take.

Pidge did have a plan. A plan to get everyone of her fellow Paladins out of here. But it required for all of them to be in the same room. 

\-------------------------

Hunk was stress baking. Lance was of course stress baking with him. Pidge was finally awake they wanted to see her already. Allura and Shiro said she fell back asleep. They didn't care, they just wanted to see her again.

Keith seemed to just wait outside her door. When Shiro walked out he asked about her.

"She just needs more rest." Shiro said, putting a hand on Keith's shoulder. "Give her time."

Of course they knew that Shiro was more stressed than any of them. 

Coran was helping the others through their stress. Telling them stories and giving them weird tips about life. It did cheer them up a bit.

\--------------------------

Pidge changed into her normal clothes. It felt weird to now call them normal now. As always her eyes seem to go to her stump. It was the thing that sealed the deal of what happened, really did happen.

She told herself that this wasn't going to change anything. It wasn't going to change her. That the memoires weren't going to hold her back. If anything she told herself that they were going to make her stronger than ever. 

She was going to family her brother and dad. She was going to find them and make Sendak pay. Make Haggar pay. No matter what this wasn't going to slow her down.

Pidge took a deep breathe as she faced the her door. She was going to get through this. She had her second family to help and support her.

The memories of what happened won't make a difference.

She repeated these things as she walked down the halls. Deep down they all felt like a big lie.


	7. Trying to fix something.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge and Coran talk tech.  
> Pidge relives a certain memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, another chapter.  
> Enjoy.

Pidge was the one to never leave her project's a huge mess. Now if you mention her room. That's another story. 

Pidge stood in Green's hanger, looking at her desk. Everything nice and neat. Then she looked at a table, not too far from her desk, filled with other stuff. Stuff that her and Coran were working on. That's where she made her way too. That table that held a bunch of stuff that seemed to be everywhere. That's if you didn't know what you were looking at. If you did know what you were looking at. Everything is nice and neat.

She looked at her stuff and frowned. Her mind was in it's thought process as soon as she saw it from afar. She picked up a piece and looked at it closely. It was a small piece that was the size of a pebble. Sighing she tossed it gently on the table and groaned in frustration.

"Careful."

Pidge looked at Coran who was walking her way. He had the same expression he always had. Somewhat serious.

"I know." Pidge crossed her arms.

She tried not to look at her stump. She failed. Then she just let her arms hang on her sides.

"I just need to fix these." Pidge picked up the pebble size device.

"Fix them?" Coran frowned as he watched her look at it. "We haven't even tested them yet."

Coran made his way next to her and picked on of the small device's. He looked at it then at Pidge.

"I did." Pidge didn't take her eyes off of the device. "They explode as soon as the command is said. I thought we at least had a three or two tick delay."

"You used them." Coran didn't ask. He knew when she used them. "Pidge these are dangerous. We knew they were unstable. These are just prototypes."

"I know." Pidge put one down and sighed. "I just grabbed them when we left for the mission. But they work. Just they explode when I say the command. That's all."

"Pidge." Now it was Coran's turn to sigh. "We knew that these were far too dangerous. But I am glad you took them with you. It's just..."

"They could've blew up in my pocket." Pidge finished. "I know Coran. But..." She gave him his best smile. "They work. But I think we should tone it down a bit with the exploding part. They kinda shook the whole ship when they blew up."

"Quiznak Pidge. How much did you set in one place?"

"Just two." Pidge started moving stuff around the table and picked another piece. "I didn't have much time to set them up. Plus I only had so much on me. I did as much as I could.   
It saved me. It saved everyone."

"I glad." Coran gave her a warm smile. "You did what you could. You are truly thinking like true Paladin of Voltron."

"I am true Paladin of Voltron."

"You know what I mean."

Pidge picked up the pebble size device's. A bunch of them barely fit in her hand. Coran helped her gather more. He was more careful than her. She just let them fall and tossed them around. She knew that they wouldn't blow up in there faces. Since she knew that when she captured they didn't explode in her pocket.

"Now." Coran pulled put a blueprint using a tablet. "What can we do to make them work?"

"Put smaller pieces of the crystal in it." Pidge said. "I don't want it to blow up more than I want too."

"How's the cloaking?"

"Fine.... I think." Pidge shrugged. "But I'm assuming that they work since the Garla didn't notice them at all. They've been on the walls in that ship for a long while."

Coran didn't like how she worded that. He knew that they probably were on the walls longer than she like to admit.

"I think I should configure my suit more." Pidge was now deep in thought as she fiddle with the pebble size bomb. "The commands worked fine. But me saying the command to work with my armor turned out pretty well. I first thought of using my helmet. But turns out it being in my suit worked out more fine than planned." She then mumbled out so Coran wouldn't hear. "Just glad that they left my suit on."

"The other commands worked out fine?" Coran asked. "How did the other's take it? Modify their suits without their knowledge."

"They didn't quetion it yet." Pidge shrugged. "But I'm sure they will soon. The command for Voltron turned out well too. The lion's woke with no problem."

"It seems Allura doesn't know about how she got the signal. She just thinks that they sent it out."

"Yeah. Self defence system turned out good. So did deadly defence. That turned out more than good."

Coran frowned at what she said. He wanted and didn't want to know what happened. He knew better than to ask now. But he did want to know. He winced at the thought of what happened.

They talked more about what needed to be fixed what everything. Coran did his best to not question her about what happened. 

It was an odd feeling Coran felt. Pidge was acting like this was a normal thing. That her hand wasn't missing. He would catch her staring at her stump many times. He would   
quickly distract her with a question or just talking. He didn't want her to think about too much than she should.

\------------------------------

Pidge eyes always went her where her hand once was. She couldn't help it. But she hated looking at it. It was a huge reminder of what happened. She didn't like it. But she told herself that this would make her stronger than ever.

Time pasted as they talked more and Coran left her alone. He needed to go to Allura and talk about plans and what not. Pidge gave up on their work and went to her desk. Sitting down and turning on the computer.

She tried to start typing but stopped. She can't use both hands now. She only has one hand now. 

Her eyes back to where they always found themselves. Her eyes trailed down her arm and she lifted her sleeve and saw the very huge scar that ran across down her forearm. She winced at the thought of how she got it.

She quickly shook her head and covered her arm and leaned back in her chair. He eyes made their way to her hand. A scar from where the knife sat for so long that the healing pod couldn't erase the scar. 

She knew that there were scars on her thighs were the other knife's where. The scars on her neck were gone. She was glad for that. But in some way it didn't matter. She always wore clothes that covered her whole body. She was glad she did.

\---------------------------------------

Pidge felt herself wanting to sleep. She seemed to not catch her breathe as much as she tired. Haggar kept electrocuting her. Whenever Pidge felt herself just about to catch a break Haggar would prove her wrong.

"Seems you have trouble staying awake." Haggar spoke.

Pidge felt pain and her body on fire. But she was still strong enough to not scream. She felt her body go limp and her eyes felt so heavy.

"Makes me wonder how much you can handle." Haggar said. "How long your body can take it. How much I can push you."

Pidge was about to say something but her words cut off. Her eyes shot open and she let a scream. Pidge cursed in her mind. Haggar was holding back this whole time. Her felt like her body was about to tear apart. Her body felt more on fire than ever.

Haggar smiled at the Green Paladin scream. Haggar wanted to chuckle at her. But instead she increase her electricity and Pidge let out a louder scream. She raise it more and more. 

It seemed she wasn't stopping anytime soon.

After awhile Pidge stopped screaming and Haggar then stopped. She watched as the Green Paladin wasn't moving. She wasn't breathing. Sighing Haggar motion her Druids to Pidge.

Soon, Pidge eyes opened, slowly but surely. Her breathing was steady. Haggar smiled. She let a tiny shock to Pidge and Pidge winced.

"Welcome back Green Paladin." Haggar said. "We lost you. I thought you weren't going to make it."

"Go...." Pidge felt her voice hoarse. "To.... Hell."

Haggar frowned. Without warning she quickly moved towards Pidge. Her fist connecting to the Green Paladins side. Hitting her lower side of the chest plate of the armor. 

Pidge gasped. She felt the air in her lungs leave. She heard Haggar chuckle and then she screamed as Haggar ran electricity run throughout her body. 

The smell of her flesh burning filled the air around her. Pidge screamed as Haggar just laughed. Once Haggar moved away, Pidge felt her side on fire. It was painful. She cold feel the blood run down her inside the armor.

It was slowly starting to get harder to breathe. She just wanted to to stop already.

\------------------------------

Hunk made his way to see Pidge, with Lance right behind him. Lance held a plate of food for Pidge.

As they entered the Green's hanger they saw Pidge leaning back in chair. Hunk reached her side and tried to speak but realized she was spacing out. Staring at her stump.

"Pidge?" Lance reached out his hand, trying to touch her shoulder.

Before his hand could make contact she snapped out of it. She jumped slightly at the fact that they seem to appear out of nowhere for her.

"H-Hunk?" Pidge asked, facing them. "Lance? What are you guys doing here?"

"Came to bring you some food." Lance placed the plate in front of her. On the desk.

"O-oh. Thanks."

Hunk watched as Lance smiled at her.

"I want to run something by you." Hunk spoke up. 

Pidge watched him pull out a tablet and pushed a couple of things and faced the tablet in front of her. Pidge frowned at first then looked up at him, shocked.

"Wha-what this?" Pidge's voice was shaky.

"I figured you would want a new hand." Hunk gave a weak smile. "I just used some of the designs from Shiro's arm and only used the hand part. I figured you didn't want to just   
live with no hand. And I also figured that you--"

Hunk was rumbling that he didn't noticed Pidge stand up. He only noticed when she gave him a hug. He was shocked but he smiled as he returned her hug.

"Thank you." Pidge mumbled out through her hug.

"Anything for you Pidge." Hunk smiled as he rubbed her back.


	8. Trying to go back to normal.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge and Hunk talk. Lance cheers up Pidge.  
> Keith and Shiro are worried.  
> So are Allura and Coran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short. Not too short but it's short for me.

Keith was the one who never really showed his emotions. Expect anger. Yes, he would show a smile and share a laugh every now and then. But he hates how the team and everyone seems to think he can't show any emotion except anger. Of course he was serious all the time. They fight an army on a somewhat regular basis.

Keith hasn't been in the training since he got back. Sure he tried but it felt weird to fight now. Everyone did think that he was training now but he wasn't. He kept his distance, he kept his eyes on Pidge. Wanting to make sure she was safe. That she was alright. That she wasn't alone anymore.

Hunk and Lance were talking to her in Green's hanger. He stood outside by the entrance.

He knew it seemed creepy to watch her from a distance. But in his eyes he was just worried about her. He knew Pidge could handle herself in any situation. Just not this one. She was acting like nothing happened. He knew it was only a matter of time for her to break.

"Keith?" 

Keith snapped out of his thoughts and looked over to the source of the voice. It was Shiro.

"What are you doing?" Shiro asked.

"Nothing." Keith leaned against the wall. "Just--"

"It's okay Keith. I know. I'm worried about her too."

Keith face fell. Of course Shiro knew. He knew that most of the time they thought the same.

"Pidge is strong." Keith said. "I know that. But Shiro you and I know both know that..." 

"Pidge is stubborn." Shiro sighed, crossing his arms. "She won't tell us anything. But she will overcome this. If anyone could, Pidge can."

"What about you?"

Shiro was about to ask what Kieht meant but then it hit him. The Garla held him and took his arm. It's just something you just can't forget about. As much as he tried.

"She won't forget." Shiro said. "But she'll learn to live with it. As much as she doesn't want too. But we'll be here. That's all she needs right now. That's all we need."

\---------------------------

Lance watched as Hunk and Pidge talk tech. He smiled at it. He was afraid that it might've took awhile for Pidge to be back in her routine. But he knew Pidge was strong. HE knew that with them there, she would slowly get better.

"Maybe you can make cool gadgets from it." Lance smiled at his thoughts. Interrupting them. "You know. Like have one of fingers be a lighter. Or a gun!"

Hunk slightly frowned. But Pidge seemed to think about it. 

"Maybe." Pidge thought. "On Earth that was hard to do. But since we have the technology, we might."

"How about we just focus on making the hand first?" Hunk said. "Then you can modify it however you like it."

"You're going to look so badass!" Lance's smile was still on his face. "A robotic hand. Of course it fits you better. Me? No. But you!"

Pidge smiled at that. In some ways, Lance was right. It would fit her. Sure Shiro had prosthetic arm too. But that was Garla tech but---

"Wait." Pidge frowned. She looked at Hunk. "Maybe I could copy Shiro's arm. You know. I could now figure out how the Garla did it. I'm pretty sure now Shiro would let take a closer look at his arm now."

"A Garla hand?" Hunk asked.

"That's awesome! A Garla hand. You could probably do what Shiro does. Turn it purple." He moved around his arm as if he was mimicking Shiro. Making noises as he did so. He stopped and the smile seemed to get bigger. "Maybe this time you could make it green. You know? Instead of purple. Match your lion."

A smile formed on Pidge's face. 

Hunk smiled at the fact that she seemed happy now. It seemed that all he wanted to see. A pure smile on her face. 

\----------------------------

Allura walked down the halls, with Coran next to her. They just got done taking plans. Allura and Coran thought it was best for them to avoid any Garla for now. Not until everyone was completely fine.

"How is she?" Allura asked, breaking the silence.

"Fine." Coran said. "I think she might need a little distraction for a bit. But you and I both now she needs to face what happened."

"Shiro might think otherwise." Allura sighed. "I think Pidge remembers everything. I'm not quite sure of how much but.... I'm just worried about the quintessence running throughout her body. If she has a clue about what happened then it might help me. I could try to extract it."

"It could affect Voltron." Coran twirled his mustache between his fingers. "If the Druids or Haggar did it then...."

"They might not be able to form Voltron."

"I'll try to talk to Shrio. If he finds out it could affect Voltron then maybe. You think it might affect Pidge?"

Allura lightly shook her head. "I'm not sure to be honest. It's weak but at the same time it's something we should worry about. I just don't like the feeling. I'm afraid that it might turn into something bigger."

\--------------------

"Well isn't this a surprise."

Pidge slowly picked up her head. Every muscle felt sore. Everything was starting to hurt. She looked up and saw Sendak standing next to Haggar. Smiling down at her. She hated it.

"The Green Paladin." He turned to Haggar. "I heard you caught all of them. Where are the rest of them?"

"In their cells." Haggar said. "Seems they haven't woken yet. Only the Green Paladin was awake."

Sendak hummed, he smile still on his face.

"The Green Paladin." Sendak said. "If my memory serves me right. You are the one who caught off my arm doing our first fight. Locked me away."

Pidge was looking up at him. Pidge chuckled at Sendak. The memory was there. He attacked them and he left himself open. She saw an opportunity and took it. She doesn't regret it one bit. 

Sendak growled at her chuckle and landed his fist to her face. Pidge felt more pain. A different pain then what Haggar did. 

"I should take your arm in exchange." Sendak growled. "It seems only fair. Or maybe we should launch you into space this time."

"Zarkon wants them alive." Haggar spoke up.

"Maybe an arm for an arm then."

Pidge heard a noise. Her eyes made there way to him. He held a huge knife.

Oh.

He was going to take her arm now. Right here and now. She watched as he raised his arm. Pidge felt herself panic. She struggled against the binds that held her down and her eyes now filled with fear. Her eyes were only on the knife.

Sendak smiled. He saw the fear in her eyes. 

Pidge watched as he brought down his arm but instead of pain, she saw him put his knife away. Sendak chuckled. 

"He's weak." 

Pidge felt the fear slowly leave her. She wanted to cry but she knew better. 

"Maybe we should bring the others in." Sendak said. "This one will break so easily."

"Not quite." Haggar said. "He seems to have great strength."

Pidge watched as Haggar lift her hands. She prepared herself and felt pain. She held in her screams this time. She wasn't going to scream in front of Sendak. She knew he would love that. The pain increased but Pidge held in her cries. Then it stopped.

"Amazing." Sendak said. "Seems he can handle it. Makes me wonder how much he can handle."

Pidge didn't bother correcting them. He/her. It didn't matter now. She was their prisoner. Plus who knows what they will do if they found out.

Haggar and Sendak talked more and Pidge felt herself catch a small break. She needed a plan now. 

The pain to her side was slowly going numb. She didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. But she was glad she couldn't feel it now. She just wanted it to end.

\---------------------------------

Pidge was now alone. It was already getting late and she knew that she needed to sleep. Hunk and Lance lefted a while ago. Pidge had the prosthetic hand almost ready. It was sooner than expected but the sooner the better. 

There was nothing special about this hand. It was just for her to get used to. For her to at least have a hand. Hunk was right about it. She just needed to focus on making one, instead of modify. It would take longer to do that.

As late as it was getting she wanted to have a hand already. She just wanted to stop staring at the stump. She wasn't use to typing with one hand. Working with one hand. In some way she was glad Sendak caught off her less dominant hand. Since she only used her right hand to use her bayard. But she was left handed. She guessed Sendak thought she was right handed. Or maybe he just wanted to caught off a limb.

Either way. Sendak got what he wanted. Pidge frowned at the thought. From the beginning he wanted to cut off something. He threatened her. He talked about it. And he got his sick wish.

Anger slowly filled her. Sendak got what he wanted. 

She grabbed the nearest thing that was closest to her and threw it across the room. She watched as papers flew down from the air. That anger slowly went away.

The papers were in order. She cursed at herself.

Pidge picked them up and put them on the desk. She told herself to put them back in order later. She sat down in her chair and leaned back.

Her eyes now felt heavy.


	9. The start of The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge relieves some memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh last chapter was okay. Hope you like this one.

The halls seemed so long. Pidge ran as fast as she could. Breathing was already hard enough. She held her side and winced at her own touch. She leaned against a wall, after finding cover. Soon enough she was being fired upon. She didn't have anything to defend herself. This is where she was going to die....

Wait. 

Was that the others running towards her? They were shouting her name but she couldn't heard them. They were running, not caring about the fire they were taking. Hunk went down first. Pidge screamed out his name. Then Keith. Then Lance. Shrio took two shots before he went down. He cried out to her.

"NO!"

Pidge sat straight up and found herself breathing way too hard. She felt the sweat running down her face. Her hand was gripping the arm of the chair. 

She slowly let go and found her breathe. But she found herself spacing out at nothing.

A nightmare. A nightmare that didn't mean anything. A nightmare that will never mean anything. Everyone was alive. Everyone was safe.

Her eyes found a clock and saw it was early. Not too early but she knew that Shiro is awake. She tried to push her glasses up but found nothing there. Oh. Right. The Garla.

Pidge pushed herself out of the chair and wiped the sweat off of her face. She needed her mind somewhere else. She wanted to not think about it. She tried her rubbed her face but only found one hand to her face. Her stump was a few inches away from her face.

Her other hand on her face. This...

\--------------------------------

"I'll leave the Druids to you." Haggar spoke to Sendak. "Don't want him to die on us."

"So..." Sendak always had that smirk on his face. "Zarkon just wants them all alive? Not anything else?"

"Yes." A smirk appeared on Haggar's face. "Alive. Nothing too extreme Sendak. And if do anything what I think you're going to do. At least send me some samples. Zarkon wants to see me. He's all yours."

With her words said, Haggar left.

Pidge wanted to cry. Haggar was fine. Sure, she would hurt Pidge but she knew Sendak would be worse. She wanted to say something but she couldn't speak. She couldn't find her breathe.

"Seems Haggar wasn't hard on you." Sendak said. "Seems her methods are not what I'm used too. This will be fun."

Pidge looked up at Sendak. She looked at him dead in the eyes.

"Go to hell." 

Another fist met her face. Landing a blow that caused her to black out. 

But not for long. She felt somewhat of a rush run throughout her body. She felt more awake. More aware.

"You mustn't sleep." Sendak said. His back facing her. "It's very rude. You are a guest. You should be grateful. I would've had your head by now. But since I'm in a gorgeous mode. I'll go easy on you."

Pidge watched him as he brought out his knife. No. 

It was Keith's.

"Seems one of your friends had this on him." Sendak looked at the blade closely. A serious expression on his face. "I think I've seen something similar before. The Blades. Nice to know that they work with you. I'll let Zarkon know right away."

Pidge felt the urge to hit him. Since she was more awake. More energy, she probably could.

"Now." A smile was now on his face. "I think since you are a honored guest. You will receive a present from me."

Before Pidge could even think about what's going to happen. She saw him move so fast. Her eyes went to were his hand was. She saw the knife sticking out of her shoulder. 

Pain quickly washed over. It was a pain she never felt before. 

The smile still on his face. He started slowly twisting the knife.

Pidge screamed. 

\----------------------------------------------

Pidge wondering the halls. She was hungry. She was sleepy. But hunger won over. Once she found the kitchen she stuffed her face. The food seemed so good now. 

Hunk's food was always good but the green food goo seemed to just do for now. She remember that she didn't eat when she held captive. The Druids did something to her whenever she died. She knew what they did. She knew everything.

Her mind was now slowly spacing out. Thinking about what happened to her.

\--------------------------------------

"You so great strength while it lasted." Sendak smirked. "I'm afraid I've broken you. What a pity."

Pidge felt the tears and the sweat run down her face. Sendak finally stopped twisting the knife around. Her strength was now dying down. She felt like she was dying. 

In her mind she thought that maybe she was going to die right here and right. She was going to bleed out. She felt so sleepy. She felt so tired. Sleep sounded so good right now.

"Do I need to bring you more pain?" Sendak asked.

He asked? Pidge shook her head. At least tried too.

"Druids."

Slowly Pidge's world slowly went dark.

Then. She felt something. When she felt herself being pulled away, she felt herself being pulled back. A strong grasp surrounded her. Energy ran through her. Filling her body. Her energy? No. The Druids. Their energy. It was bringing her back. She wanted to scream.

She did when she was brought back.

\--------------------------------------

Her appetite seemed to quickly go away. Pidge tossed her food away and put her dish away. She headed back to Green's hanger.

The halls were huge and seemed to be a waste of space. She remembered the Garla ships halls were smaller than the castles. 

She slowly stopped in her tracks.

Another memory creeping its way in

\--------------------------------------

Pidge quickly had a plan. She knew she wouldn't leave her team behind. That idea never crossed her mind. And it never will.

But she knew that if was going to be captured again. She didn't have enough time. So she had to do it quick.

A plan. The plan.

The energy that filled her, she needed to use that. When she feel asleep. They would wake her with something that was like a adrenaline shot. She needed to use that too.

She knew that if Sendak was going to be the one giving her pain then she needed to act now. Because if she waited any longer. She wouldn't be able to move. 

So. The plan must start right away. The sooner the better.

Pidge needed to do something the others wouldn't even let her do. Wouldn't even let her think about. 

She needed to die again. 

\-------------------------------------

The plan. It's something you just can't forget. Pidge did it and she's here now. Back at the castle.

Home.

The huge castle that she called home for a long time. 

She made her way to the hanger and entered. She stopped and looked at Green.

It was right her and now that she noticed something. Something that she should've noticed right away. 

Green was quite. Has been quite.

Usually Green would try to talk to her. Green and Pidge had a close relationship. They would talk every now and then. But now. Now Green had been quiet. Not making any sound at all.

"Green?" Pidge frowned as she walked closer. "Green talk to me."

Silence.

"Green?" Pidge put her hand on the lion's paw. 

There would be times were she would feel something. But now she doesn't feel anything.

Now that she thought about it. The bond between them was... It seemed different. It was different now.

"Please." Pidge whispered.

"Pidge?" 

Pidge didn't even bother looking at Lance. She just kept looking at Green. She heard him walk her way. Pidge just looked at the chest of the lion. Since she couldn't see her eyes.

"Pidge, what are you doing?" Lance stood next to her and looked at Green. Hands on his hips.

"Thinking." Pidge said.

"You're up pretty early."

"So are you."

Lance hummed and shrugged. "My routine in the morning started early today. So did you make the hand?"

"I should have it by the end of the day." Pidge removed her hand and started walking back to her desk. Leaving Lance to stare at Green.

"Green seems huge up close." Lance said. "Black is scary huge. You ever been to Black's hanger?"

"Yeah." Pidge started organizing papers. "I've been to all of yours."

"So." Lance turned to Pidge. "You planning to make a finger gun? Or a oh, a laser! Imagine shooting lasers at the bad guys." He started pointy his fingers. Making pew noises.

"I might." A smile appeared on Pidge's face.

Lance stopped making noises and smiled back at her. 

\--------------------------------------------

Keith peered in Green's hanger and saw Lance laughing. He walked in and saw Pidge smirking.

"You guys are up early." Keith spoke up. "I'm surprised you're up this early Lance."

"I can get up early too." Lance crossed his arms.

"Let me guess." Keith had a small smile on his face. "Your skin routine?"

"Hey!" Lance started to pout. "As you see it's working." He gestured to his face. "My face it clear and spot free. Maybe you should try it."

"No thanks."

Pidge just chuckled at what going on. She watch them fight.

It was like nothing had happened. She would enjoy this feeling for as long as she could.


	10. Back to Normal?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge relives the memories again.

It was a start of something new. Something different. Something that had to be done. 

Pidge wasn't going to spend the rest of her life with working with one hand. Sure she probably could, but with everything was pointing to her having one. She's not going to just pass that offer up. Not now, not ever.

To Pidge, it has been way too long. Even though she had only returned and making a hand for three full days. It was frustrating. It was taking way too long for her.

"I think this should do for now." Hunk smiled as he bought the fake hand to her.

Since she had been at her desk trying to modify her hand, when it came to it. Hunk and Coran saw that she was way too into her work that she didn't noticed. So they brought it to her.

Pidge blinked in surprise. She stared at the hand. She didn't believe it. She picked it up and looked at it.

"Of course you can't put it on now." Coran played with his mustache. "It's more of... of a stand in."

"Stand in?" Pidge questioned, putting down the hand. "What does that mean?"

"You won't be able to work it right away." Hunk explained. "I mean.... You can put it on now but it won't be able to move, like at all."

"Why?" Pidge asked.

"That would require surgery." Coran said. "Since your hand.... or where it used to be has been cut off."

"You need to make something for it to properly connect." Pidge said. "Basically it's a dead hand. Like plugging in a USB stick into a dead computer."

"Something like that." Hunk give his best smile. "I think you get the point. We need something to connect to it. Sure we can try but it wouldn't work."

"So we need to connect something to this..." Pidge lifted her stump and sighed. "Something to make it work."

"Yes." Coran put his hands behind his back. "I don't get the metaphor but I think I get the point. It's a simple surgery. Nothing I can't do myself but...."

"We need to go somewhere where we can operate on you." Hunk explained. "I mean, here at the castle we can do that but..."

"Well, I know you can't do the surgery." Pidge stared at her stump. "And judging by Coran's voice. He can't either."

"Yes." Coran said. "I've spoken to the Princess and we've agreed to go to Olkarion. I'm sure Ryner can point us to someone who can help us."

"Plus if we go there you can upgrade faster." Hunk smiled. "Pretty sure Ryner can help you figure it out more."

Pidge didn't have to think twice about it. She was going to go. Sooner the better.

\----------------------------------

The Plan was not that risky. Sure it seemed like it, but it truly wasn't. Pidge knew this. After all. Haggar, Sendak and the Druids made sure that she would stay alive. That she would be brought back every time. No matter what.

Pidge watched as Sendak was talking to the Druids about something, probably her. They all nodded their heads and he turned back to her.

"Seems like your so called team has not woken up." Sendak said.

He was circling her like a hawk, waiting to strike. She could hear how heavy his steps were. How he seemed to breathe hard but it wasn't that noticeable. His eyes on her. That red eye was something she wondered what that was. 

Maybe it helped him see up close. Maybe it was to help him see more better than the average eye could. Maybe that's how he saw past her trick like the last time. 

Pidge needed to stop thinking about that. She needed to focus. The Plan.

"How is it that you were the only one awake?" Sendak seemed deep in thought. "Maybe your special? Maybe there something in you that we don't see yet."

He stopped walking around her and stopped behind her. Sendak busted into laughter. It seemed his thought made him laugh. 

Bastard.

"It doesn't matter." He slammed his hand on her shoulder.

Pidge held in her whimper, she poorly failed. The knife was still in her shoulder. Why the hell did he leave it in?

"You're in Zarkon's hands." Sendak patted her shoulder. Ignoring her whimpers. "He'll be pleased that we captured all the lion's and the Paladins. Tell me little one."

Sendak walked in front of her. In hands hands were something Pidge thought she left in the lion. But of course they have the lions. 

In his hands were Matt's glasses.

"What are these?" Sendak seemed to look at them up close. Frowning as he did so. "Are there any point to these? Or are they useless?"

"N--"

She didn't get to say anything. His hands made their way back to the knife. He slowly started twisting it again. Pidge held in her cries, but that didn't stop the tears from falling.

"Seems Haggar was right." Sendak stopped mid twist. "You don't speak unless told to. Is that understood?"

"Fuc--"

Sendak dropped the pair of glasses and stepped on them. 

It was the loudest sound Pidge ever heard. The sound of glass shattering. But that quickly went away since Sendak pulled out the knife. 

Pidge screamed out in pain. She felt her body moving forward with the knife. As if she needed that knife there.

Sendak chuckled. He looked at the blade and them back at Pidge.

"Do you understand?" Sendak leaned forward. 

He was looking dead in the eyes. He watched as he head was slowly going down. He grabbed the back of head, gripping her hair in his hand. Forcing her head to look at him.

"Do I need to repeat myself?" Sendak growled.

Pidge looked at him back, hate in her eyes. She knew her face showed anger. She wasn't going to say anything. As much as she wanted to cuss him out. So, she did the next best thing she could do.

She spit in his face.

Sendak expression changed slowly. To anger to a blank stare. He let go of her hair and stood straight up. He wiped the blood off and walked away.

Pidge didn't expect him to walk away. She figured that he would do something--

"Do it."

Before she could register what he meant. Her body tensed. It was like Haggar was here. But this was way worse. So much worse. It didn't feel like fire like it did last time. It felt like her body was being torn apart.

Pidge was pretty sure she was screaming. If she did, she couldn't hear it. Her mind was going everywhere. 

Sendak smirked. He watched as the Green Paladin mouth open. Screams filled the room. To him it was like music to his ears.

\-----------------------------------

Pidge sat down at the table in what felt like forever. Hunk just set the food and everyone was slowly walking in. Lance was next to her making her laugh. Pidge of course would throw jabs at him, mainly because he would start making fun of her. Lance didn't mind one bit.

Shiro sat down and watched as they talked. A smile made its way to his face.

This. This was something he wished he could see every day. Something that wouldn't be interrupted. 

"I swear to god Lance." Pidge groaned. "I'm going to kill you."

"Yeah right." Lance laughed. "Maintaining your cover was the funniest thing I ever saw. When that girl hit on you, you just turned white as a sheet."

Pidge just let her head lightly hit the table. Covering her head with her arms. She mumbled out a stop and Lance continued talking.

"Are we talking about what I think?" Hunk joined them. A smirk on his face. "That poor girl."

"Hunk." Pidge glared up at him. "Don't you start too."

"Oh but as your best friend. It's kinda my job."

Lance and Hunk just kept talking about what happened long ago. Somehow they convinced Pidge to go out with them, one time. That's it. Just one time. And they went out and Lance didn't mention that he was meeting girls. Hunk was surprised too but Lance took this opportunity to find a girl for Pidge. Of course he didn't know that she was a girl at the time.

"She was hitting on you all night." Hunk lightly shook his head. Smiling but trying to act like he was ashamed of Pidge. "All night Pidge. And you didn't even say anything to her. What if that was her first time hitting on someone?"

"Yeah." Lance smirked, arms crossed. "Her friends even told me the next day that she was heartbroken."

Pidge just continued to hid her face. Everyone at the table could see that her face was red and she was mumbling too low for either of them to hear anything.

Keith walked in and only caught some of the conversion but he just smirked. He looked at Shiro who was just enjoying them.

\------------------------

"I've spoken with Lance." Coran walked next to Allura. "Pidge was talking to Green."

"That's good." Allura said.

"But he said it sounded like she was trying to talk to her. Seems Pidge is having trouble talking with her lion."

"That's not good. We should really talk to her. Have you spoken to Shrio about the matter?"

"Yes. Quite frankly he wasn't too happy, but he seems to be coming around. Maybe we should just talk to Pidge."

"Seems that's the only option."

Allura heard laughing as she went further down the hall. Once she entered the dining hall she saw Lance and Hunk laughing. Pidge was hiding her face. Keith and Shiro were just smiling.

Allura and Coran stopped once they entered the room.

"Maybe we should ask her after dinner?" Allura asked. "But it has to be today."

"I agree."

\---------------------------

Pidge watched as the others were eating. Shiro and Allura were talking battle plans. Lance and Keith were bickering with each other. Hunk and Coran were talking about the best food they had so far.

Pidge, on the other hand was starting to get full. She looked down at her plate and it barely half eaten. She frowned at this. She knew that her size didn't matter. She ate a lot. But then she thought about it. She thought about it again. She didn't want to but it just came to her. Like a flash of light. It blinded her.

\--------------------------

"Have you learned your lesson?"

Pidge felt herself trying to keep her eyes open. Trying to pick up her head. But everything wasn't working right. Whatever he did, it worked. She tried to flex her fingers but even that was a struggle.

"Seems not." Sendak sighed. "Do it again."

Pidge tried to tell him no but before she could, the pain returned. She didn't how it could've gotten worse but it was. She threw her head back and screamed. 

She's pretty sure that her body was being torn apart by now. She could feel her skin ripping and tearing. She felt her throat being cut at. 

The pain quickly stopped. But her body ached, trobbed. It was just hurting. She didn't like this pain. But it's not like she could tell him to stop.

"Well little one?" Sendak picked up her chin with his finger.

"Y-y-yes." Pidge croaked out.

A smile appeared on his face. "Yes what?"

"I'll kill you."

His smile disappeared. He dropped her chin and nodded to the Druids.

Pidge didn't see what they were doing to her but she knew that the pain was too much. 

The Druids raised their hands and shot their energy at her. It was like they were hurting her and giving her their energy. It was Haggar told them to do to her. Keep the Green Paladin alive. They knew that human's needed to eat, sleep and everything else they needed to live. So they learned a trick. It was painful, they made sure of that. It required only one of them but since they were all there, why not? If they did kill her, they would simply bring her back.

\------------------------------------------------

Pidge sighed as soon as she thought of the memory. The Druids kept her alive. The team didn't know how. In some ways she was glad that the others didn't know. She wouldn't even know what to tell them. It was feeling that she wouldn't want to feel again. 

But she needed again.

Wait. No. What was she thinking? She didn't needed it again. She didn't want that feeling again. Why did that thought even cross her mind? Why would she even want to feel that again? 

She pushed down the thoughts and looked down at her food. Now she wasn't hungry. She just got up from her seat and walked out of the room.


	11. A new path.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge can't stop reliving the memories.  
> They finally reach Olkarion, Pidge is ready for her new hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also yes, I am adding more chapters.  
> Why? Because I have big plans for this story. SO it might be longer than 50 chapters.  
> MAYBE.

"Pidge?" Keith watched her stand up in her seat. 

"What's wrong?" Hunk turned in her direction.

They watched as she just walked out of the room and lefted everyone in silence. 

"Should we go check on her?" Lance asked.

He looked like he was about to move himself but instead looked at everyone. Shiro sighed and shook his head. He knew that she needed her space. As much as it pained him to do so, she needed it. They would be there for her when she needed it. Or when she was ready to talk.

He knew, no, they all knew that she would go to them when she was ready. It just pained them that she hasn't said a single word about what happened yet.

Ever since they came back to the castle, they've all talked about it at least once.

"Why do you think they didn't hurt us?" Lance broke the silence. They knew he was asking himself out loud. But...

Of course they knew why. But for some reason they just didn't trust Sendak words. They all wanted for Pidge to tell them. But at the same time they didn't want to know. 

\-----------------------------

Pidge leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. Lately, ever since she got back. She felt restless. Like sleeping for so long wasn't cutting it. It felt like she wasn't getting any rest at all. But she knew that she's been sleeping more than seven hours a day. So why was she feeling like she wasn't rested?

She opened her eyes and slightly looked up. Green. She can heard her now. Buts it's only for awhile now. Not as long as she's use to. Almost like a bad connection. 

Pidge groaned as she leaned forward. Elbows on the desk and hand in her face. She knew something was wrong with her. The Druids. They kept her alive. They made sure she didn't die. 

They kept her alive. 

Now. It's her connection with Green. It's like something's wrong now. The thought did cross her mind. That the Druids are at fault. It made sense. She knew that she needed to talk to Allura or Coran about it. 

As much as she didn't want to think about it any longer, she had too. Think about what's wrong. And think about how they kept her alive. 

\-----------------------------

"Little One." Sendak entered the room. That smirk still on his face. "I've been informed that you did very well the whole night."

Pidge just wanted to sleep. She never felt so tired in her whole life. Her body was slowly going numb to the pain. Everything was just hurting so much. She just wanted to all stop. She just wanted to go home.

"I think it's time to move you."

Pidge felt a little energy return to her when he said those words. She picked up her head, panic in her eyes. She watched him chuckle.

"Oh don't worry little one." Sendak said. "We'll be just moving you to a different room. This room is starting to get a little boring. Plus the Druids new room has new equipment."

She didn't know what to feel. Happy at the fact that she wasn't being moved away from her team. Or what he meant by new equipment. That wasn't a good sign. She needed to act on her plan now.

"Bastard." Pidge moved forward a bit. "Go to he--"

A fist made its way to her head. She groaned and slowly opened her eyes. She knew that he hated when she even talked. So talk she was going to do.

"Hell." Pidge finished her sentence.

Sendak growled as he hit her hard in the stomach. Pidge couldn't even move. She felt another blow to her stomach.

"Seems you haven't learned anything." Sendak stood up straight.

Pidge felt the pain slowly start to drift her to sleep. No. She needed to act now. She watched as he was talking to the Druids.

"That...." Pidge was having trouble breathing. "..all... you--"

She suddenly felt a firm grip around her throat. Then that grip started getting tighter. Pidge looked Sendak in his eyes and tried to speak.

"I should just kill you right and here now." Sendak growled. "Then again if I have too."

She felt her world slowly go black. She tried to breathe in any air she could but found none.

Sendak smirked as he saw the Green Paladins eyes roll back and close. He held her throat for only a few seconds more, then he let go. He stood up straight and motion the Druids. They raised her hands.

The room lit up and he watched. He saw her starting to breathe again. Slowly but surely. 

"Let's move her now." Sendak said. "Once we get to the new room, we'll wake her."

\----------------------------------

Lance and Hunk made their way to Green's hanger. Hunk held a plate this time. He figured she would be a bit hungry.

They entered and saw Pidge tinkering with something. 

"Pidge." Lance said as she got a little closer. "You going to give that big brain of yours a break?"

Pidge didn't even move or acknowledge them. Lance peered over more and saw that she tinkering with something small. It looked more like a pebble.

"Pidge?" Lance tried again.

This time she turned her head. "Oh hey guys." She stopped what she was doing and faced them.

"Allura said we'll be landing on Olkarin soon." Lance pulled up a chair and sat across from Pidge. "Shiro also said to be ready."

"Ready?" Pidge frowned. 

"Seems your surgery is going to be right away." Hunk said. "We all know that you can't wait to work with two hands again."

Hunk wiggled his fingers in the air, smiling. He put the plate down in front of her. He leaned against her desk and starting messing with whatever she was messing with.

Pidge looked down at her stump. She was finally going to have another hand. She doesn't have to take her time typing out stuff. Fixing stuff. Sure it was hard to manage with one hand. Getting dressed, typing, working, showering, and eating. She never knew how much she used both hands. Grabbing a drink, or just grabbing anything.

But so far she managed to make it work. Now the time was getting closer. She felt happy. She often wondered what a fake hand would feel like. Mainly because she asked Shiro endless questions.

When they first started the team, Pidge would try to make excuses to look at Shiro's arm. She wanted to take a closer look at it. Mainly just take it apart.

Now, Shiro let her take a closer look. She explained to him about working with his arm for her hand. He agreed. So she took a closer look. As she guessed it, Garla tech was way different than Altean tech. Probably had to do with the ten thousand year gap between the two. Either way. Altean tech seemed to be just as good. 

Ryner would help her figure it out more. Pidge just couldn't wait to see the new tech they came up with.

\------------------------

Shiro smiled as Pidge was messing with his arm. She seemed so into with what she was doing. He would even spot her tongue sticking out at times. He didn't say anything about it.

"Make it glow again." Pidge stopped what she was doing. Her hand were hovering over his arm.

Shiro did as he was told. Pidge seemed to be amazed every time. She knew better than to touch it. As much as she wanted too. She learned her lesson the last few times. Shiro warned her but of course she didn't listen.

"Maybe it I can figure out what makes it do that." Pidge thought out loud. "Seems whatever they did... no... that can't be it..." 

Shiro was about to say something when Allura entered the room. Coran right beside her.

"We are about to land." Allura said. 

They watched as Pidge stopped thinking and looked anywhere but their eyes.

Yes. Pidge was nervous. Why? She didn't know why. She fought in great battles. She faced greater enemies. She was even held captive by the Garla. There was no reason to be afraid of a little minor surgery.

Shiro knew. He knew that deep down she was still just a kid. The fears are a common thing with kids. Pidge was no exception. Sure they faced enemies but Pidge could face small things and be more afraid.

"It's going to be fine." Shiro put his hand on Pidge's arm. "Everyone is going to be there. We'll be right there with you."

This brought a small smile to Pidge's face. His words did give her comfort. She was never going to be alone ever again.

\-------------------------

Pidge walked towards Ryner who had a smile on her face. Pidge smiled back and give her a hug.

"It's so nice to see you Pidge." Ryner said. "I'm glad you are alright now."

"I'm happy to see you too." Pidge pulled away from their hug and saw people standing behind her.

"I've got the best people here for you." Ryner looked at them. Then at Shiro and Allura. "I understand you want to start right away?"

"Yes." Shiro said.

Pidge felt a arm wrap around her shoulders. She looked slightly up and saw Lance. 

"You have nothing to worry about." Lance smirked. "We'll all see you after. Plus I can tell Ryner about that girl back at the Garrison."

Pidge smiled and shook her head. Leave to it Lance to cheer her up.

"Do that and I can finally use both hands to beat you up." Pidge lightly shoved him away.

They all started walking inside and Lance kept talking. Hunk joined in. Keith did too.

"If you need help with beating up Lance." Keith smield. "I'll be happy help you. I have no problem with that."

Pidge chuckled and she looked at Lance. He was shocked at what Keith said. This just made Pidge laugh harder.


	12. Pidge is happy again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge finally got her new hand.  
> This is the only time she doesn't relive any memories.  
> She finally happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes. 50 Chapters.  
> The Council Has Spoken!  
> I do have chapters ready to go now. But of course I'm not uploading them right away.  
> Mainly because I do change many things. You should see how many times I've changed things. Some of them aren't good.  
> Wow. Got many "chapters'" in my folder.  
> Anyway's Enjoy!

Lance and Hunk sat next to each other. Talking quietly about what to do about Pidge. They both knew that wasn't the same girl they once knew. She used to be cheerful and happy. Curious about everything that she couldn't understand. But now....

They talked about what she remembered. Of course they didn't know that she knew everything. They didn't ask her, but right now they were asking each other.

"She has to know everything." Hunk whispered. Staring at the floor

"I agree with you." Lance sighed. "But why hasn't she spoken to us about it?"

"We both know Pidge questions everything." Hunk looked over to Shiro and Allura talking quietly too.

They were waiting for Pidge to come out of surgery. Keith and Coran were talking about something. Shiro and Allura look like they were talking about something more important. 

"What does that have to do with anything?" Lance asked. Looking at Hunk.

"If Pidge didn't know about what happened. She would try to ask us about it. You know? Even though we didn't know what happened, she would still ask us about it. Right?"

This is something they talked about a lot since they got back. Lance was the first to ask. Hunk didn't stop him. Because he was worried about Pidge too. They both knew that everyone was worried about her. Lance even asked Shiro if Pidge talked to him about it. He also said she hasn't come to him about it.

Lance looked over to Keith. He knew that lately Keith has been around Pidge more than anyone. He knew that he watched Pidge. They all knew that Keith cared. If any chance, Keith might know.

"You think Keith might know?" Lance asked.

"Know what?" Hunk frowned. 

"You know. About if she talked to him about it?"

"We all know that Keith and Shiro talk to each other. If Shiro doesn't know. Then she didn't tell Keith anything."

Lance was now sad about this. "She hasn't told anyone anything." He sighed.

Hunk didn't know what to say. They all knew that Pidge was strong and could handle herself but this was something different, right? Something that she couldn't handle by herself. But at the same they all knew Pidge. She could handle herself. They knew that this wouldn't slow her down. 

They were all here if she needed them

\--------------------------

"Shiro, please." Allura pleaded. "If I talk to her to for awhile then--"

"I just think it's best if we wait." Shiro arms were crossed, a stern look on his face.

"Shiro." Keith walked up to them, Coran right next to him. "Coran told me about what's going on. I think it's up to Pidge to decide. If it might help her then we should at least try. If the quintessences are not good for her then we should talk to her."

"Maybe we should talk about this later." Shiro sighed. 

"Shiro it might have a big affect on Voltron." Coran said.

"I thought you said that it might have a little affect?" Shiro looked at Allura. He felt anger slowly raising.

"Shrio." Keith said. "Good or bad. Big or small. Allura should at least try."

Shiro sighed, he knew it was the right move. He was their leader. He did what was best for them. But they didn't know Pidge before she was just Pidge. Before she was apart of Voltron. Before she was a Paladin. 

When she was just Katie Holt. 

Not Pidge Gunderson.

She was just a kid, still is. 

He knew Matt. He knew Samuel. He knew Colleen. He knew the whole Holt family. Sure he didn't see Katie before the whole Kerberos Mission thing. But, he heard stories. Many stories from Sam and Matt. 

That she was so smart. So smart that Sam knew that she would do great things. Not because he was her father but because he saw her do so many great things. He talked about her and so did Matt.

He remembered Matt saying something along the lines like, 'She'll probably take over the whole world if she could'.

When Shiro was found by his team. He knew right away who Pidge was. Since she looked so much like Matt. 

In some ways he felt like this was all his fault. He was their leader. He was supposed to protect her. As a leader and as a family friend. But mostly as a family friend. 

He didn't promise the Holt's to protect her, but he felt like he should at least try to. For the Holt's sake. For his sake.

Right now he was trying his best to protect her still. He knows that she could handle herself. But this was something different for him. He wasn't there when she was tortured. He wasn't there when the pain wouldn't stop. But he would be here for her now. He would fight anyone who told him otherwise.

But he knew that others were right. That if something was wrong, small or big. He had to help her. This time he would be there for her.

"Okay." Shiro sighed. "Maybe after she's done with this. We can't rush her now though. But we will talk to her."

Allura sighed with relief and so did the others. Shiro just now noticed that Lance and Hunk were next to the others. 

"Excuse me?"

Everyone turned to the voice and saw Ryner. 

"Sorry if I'm interrupting anything. But Pidge is done."

\-----------------------------

Pidge eyes slowly opened. She looked around her and saw that she was a in room that looked like a hospital room. She sat up and used her hand to rub her eyes. She stopped. 

The surgery.

She opened her eyes and looked at her stump. It wasn't a roundish shape anymore. But it was now flat. She brought her hand to it and felt it. It was weird to look at. It was even weird to feel.

She felt tears forming in her eyes. She was now going to have a hand again. A working hand.

A smile formed on her face. 

\----------------------------

"Hold on." Hunk whined. "It not everyday one puts a hand on."

"Just hurry." Pidge sighed. Her leg not stay still as she waited.

Hunk and Coran were the one's putting on Pidge's new hand. Pidge was just happy. She was jumping with excitement. 

When they entered the room she told them to hurry and put it on. Hunk and Coran didn't hesitate. They immediately went to work.

Lance was next to them. Looking as closely as they would let him. Keith was standing next to Shrio, both were smiling. 

Allura was happy for her. She knew Pidge was looking forward for this.

"Almost..." Hunk mumbled, mainly to himself. "...and...."

"Here we go!" Coran smiled.

A clicking noise was heard. Hunk and Coran took a step back. Pidge didn't move it at first. She was worried but that quickly went away when she moved her fingers around. The smile returned to her face.

"I can't believe it." Her smile got bigger. "Shiro, look!" 

Pidge raised her hand in the air and started wiggling her fingers around. Shiro just chuckled.

"Does it shot out lasers?!" Lance grabbed her hand. "Ohh! Or does it light people on fire?!"

"It's just a hand for now." Hunk chuckled. "Pidge can modify it whenever she wants."

Pidge was still moving around her fingers. Bending her wrist around. Making a fist. Just doing what she could do with it.

Her smile never leaving her face as she do so. 

Everyone's smile never leaving their face. They were happy that Pidge was happy. Just like how it should be.


	13. The Plan in Action.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge finally tells the team how she placed the bombs.  
> Her Plan. Her 'escape'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got scared for a bit.   
> The file I had in my usb was somewhat (more like all of it) corrupted, all my work was on there.   
> Thought that I lost all my work for awhile. But I fixed it and got my work back.

Pidge was happy. The smile never left her face. 

They returned back to the castle. They only stayed on Olkarion for one quintant. Pidge and Ryner came up with a few designs. Hunk and Coran also help. Lance was being Lance. He was trying to help with what he could. Pidge didn't mind.

She was typing away with her new hand. She was doing some coding. It was weird but she quickly got use to it. She couldn't feel her hand but she could see it and move it around like it never was gone.

After thinking for a long time she came up with a few ideas for her hand. To make as many as she could. The one she has on now, she would wear it when they were at the castle. She would make one for each purpose. But she didn't want to make too many. Just enough. Then of course she would make back ups. She didn't mind that.

She would make a weapon one. Helpfully she would only make at least two or three. The hand she had on now, she would make tiny adjustments. Put a weapon here and there. She didn't want Lance to know, but she would definitely put a laser on it.

"So." Lance pulled up a chair. "How does it feel?"

"Amazing." Pidge smirked. She stopped coding and leaned back in her chair. "I finally get to do coding again. I mean I could before but I can go at normal speed again. I'm just glad that Hunk made one as soon as he could."

"I help a bit." Lance gave a small smile. Pidge gave him a look. "I'm serious. He wanted to build it from scratch. But I said why not use Shiro's? Just make it Pidge size. He said no. Then I said yeah. Then he said--"

"I think I get the point." Pidge smiled. "So, thank you Lance."

"I heard that!" Hunk entered the hanger. "Lance you only helped a bit. It was my idea but you helped the best way you could."

Lance and Hunk started to argue. Pidge didn't mind. She just went back to what she was doing. 

\----------------------------------

Pidge knew that she was being dragged against the ground. Pidge tried to fight it. But her strength was completely gone. But her body wasn't in pain anymore. 

She knew she just died. She could feel the Druids energy in her. This was why she needed to die. In some sick way she needed to not feel the pain now. It helped. The Druids helped numb the pain. It give her a different kind of feeling.

Now.

Now was the time for her plan to start. 

It was now or never.

\---------------------------------

Pidge was laying around in the lounge. She was taking a break from her work. Everyone was in here with her. They all appeared one at a time.

"You know." Lance looked over to Shiro. His expression just read of boredom. "I'm not complaining but, when are we going to start training again?"

Pidge just chuckled. Lance has been so bored that he now what's to start training again. A black hole was now going to appear.

"Maybe soon." Shiro said.

Pidge heard from a distance the Hunk and Keith were talking. Not listening to Lance and Shiro. She wondered if they even trained a bit since they got back. She thought that maybe Keith didn't stop. Although, her eyes observant eyes noticed. He seemed more relaxed. Less tensed than what he was used too.

Shiro was now talking to Allura. Lance was still bored. He looked over to Pidge who was staring at the ceiling.

\---------------------------------

Pidge felt herself being thrown to the ground. She tried to get up but her strength still hasn't returned. 

"Here's your new home Little One." Sendak said. 

Pidge felt herself being picked up. She felt herself being put in a chair again. She looked around and saw that there was indeed more equipment in here. She didn't want to find out what they did now. She needed to work on her plan now.

As they started strapping her down. She felt a needle go in neck. 

A smile appeared on her face.

\-------------------------------

Lance watched her as she slowly closed her eyes. She was laying on the ground, next to the couch. He was laying on the couch. Looking down at her.

"Pidge?" Lance felt the words escape his lips. "How did you place those bombs?"

As soon as he said those words he put a hand over his mouth. He didn't mean to ask her. Shrio and other must've heard because the room went deadly silent. Pidge eyes opened quickly. Her eyes went towards his.

She was actually surprised it took them this long to ask. The only who knew about the bombs were only her and Coran. But she knew that he didn't tell the Princess.

"Uh..." Pidge slowly sat up. "What?"

"Lance." Shiro warned as he whispered.

"N-nothing!" Lance quickly tried to wave it off. 

They looked at Pidge. But she didn't look at anyone right now. She couldn't bring herself too.

"The bombs?" Pidge sighed. Laying herself back down on the ground.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want too." Shiro said. "We understand."

Pidge thought about it. Should she tell them? What should she tell them? How much should she tell them? Maybe she could....

"I escaped." Pidge said.

\--------------------------

Pure adrenaline rush. Pure Garla adrenaline rush. That's all Pidge was feeling now. The idiots didn't even fully tie her down. She attacked them quickly. She punched her way out. She probably sprained her ankle but she didn't care. She couldn't feel the pain now anyway.

She kicked Sendak hard against the wall and ran out. She knew that facing him was going to a big mistake. So she just had to out run him for now.

She was out of the room. She was somewhat free. Her plan was now in action. 

She was just glad that it was luck that the Druids left. Leaving her with the soldiers and Sendak. He didn't see yet but she hand something of his. It was a slight of hand.

In her hand was his knife that he kept. Pidge heard the warning sirens go off. She knew that she didn't have enough time. She needed to act quick.

She found a opening. She ducked in a room and tried to catch her breathe. Opening a secret compartment in her suit. She pulled out the pebble size bombs. Grabbing a handful. She just hoped that they worked perfectly. She place one on the wall and ran back out into the halls.

Pidge ran into some soldiers but thankfully she dodged them quickly.

The pain was slowly returning. But she didn't have time for that.

She ran her fingers and placing them in the walls. She ran around and placed as many as she could before she got caught.

Pidge knew the layout of the ship. She's been in plenty with the others. So she knew were the cells were. She hoped that they were awake. Maybe she could get them out now. She had an idea of where the lions could be. 

When she pasted rooms that had the doors open she tossed some pebbles in. Noting that the Garla didn't noticed. 

Her plan was working. She was also to the cells. Just almost there.

A wave of pain entered her body. She felt herself fall to the ground. She knew this pain.

The Druids.

She groaned in pain as she tried to pick herself up. But was only met with more pain. Pidge screamed out in pain.

"You're smart Little One." 

Pidge felt fear run throughout her body. 

Sendak.

Pidge gripped his knife, she charged him. He grabbed her arm quickly.

"But apparently not smart enough." He picked her up by her hair. He ignored her screams, punches and kicks. "And here you also made it to the others. Shame."

He used his big robotic hand and had a tight grip around her. He grabbed his knife from her hand. Pidge tried her best to fight against it. But she knew that it wasn't going to work.

She was captured again. Sendak was going to make sure that she wasn't going to do that again. 

What he didn't know was that she could easily kill him right here and now. In her hand was at least three more pebbles. Sure she could die but at least he would die.

She thought about it. 

She couldn't bring herself to do it. She needed to make sure her team was safe. That they would make it out alive. She wasn't going to leave them like this.

"You're very lucky that Zarkon wants you alive." Sendak said. "Or you would be dead by now. Oh wait." A smile appeared on his face. "You can. Maybe a few deaths can teach you."

"Bastard." Pidge was still fighting against his tight grip.

Sendak squeezed harder and Pidge cried out in pain.

She wasn't going to give up. She was going to wait if she has too. And Sendak was going to pay for what his doing to her. She was going to make sure of that.

\-----------------------------

"Escaped?" Shrio frowned.

Pidge knew that telling them the whole truth wouldn't.... She just knew that it wasn't time. When was the time? She didn't know. Could be quintant's, movement's, phoeb's or deca-phoeb's. Just not now.

"Y-yeah." Pidge stared at the ceiling.

She kept her voice clam. It worked. They didn't seem to notice anything amiss. She was glad for that.

"They turned their backs." Pidge continued to lie. "I saw a opening and ran. I was lucky that they... that they didn't hurt me yet." Pidge sighed. "So I ran. I placed a few bombs. Then I got captured again. I didn't make it far. Sendak was already there."

Pidge looked at Lance who just had wide eyes. She knew that hiding the truth for now was the best choice.

"But hey." Pidge gave her best smile. "Got a few good punches. He was mad. Seems I packed a good punch."

The others knew that she was making light of the situation. 

It's only thing Pidge could do. She didn't want them to feel guilty. It wasn't there fault that Haggar did something to the lions. It wasn't their fault that she was the only awake. 

It wasn't any of their fault. And it never will be. She was going to kept it that way.


	14. Everything seems messed up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge actually relieves her escape.  
> Keith is there to help her.  
> The team is trying to look for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah another chapter. It feels like it's been so long.  
> But hope you enjoy it!  
> Thanks for the comments and everything!  
> Your comments give me life!  
> Thanks LurkingGoomy for all the comments!

Pidge was still feeling tired. She didn't know why or understand. But it feels like it's getting worse and worse with each day passing.

She went to Coran about why she felt tired. He scanned her and everything. 

Nothing. Seems nothing was wrong with her. At least not from what alien tech can tell.

"I'll have a chat with Allura." Coran stood up straight. "Maybe she can help me."

"Okay." Pidge sighed. "Just let me know if I can help with anything."

Coran watched as Pidge left the room and he contacted Allura right away.

\------------------------------------

Allura sighed as Shiro walked into the medbay. He seemed worried.

"What's going on?" Shiro asked as soon as the doors closed.

"Pidge has been feeling restless these past few days." Allura said. "I think it's now time to ask her."

"Okay." Shiro sighed. He knew that if was affecting her now. Then who knows about what might happened in the future. 

"We were planning to ask her earlier." Coran said. "But seems she's been hold up in her hanger."

Shrio thought about how she did seem more tired with each day. He also knew that she was sleeping right. Then a thought pasted his mind. Maybe it was nightmares. Maybe they kept her awake at night. Maybe she didn't tell anyone.

He just wanted answers for her sake.

\------------------------------------

Keith finally entered the training room. He's never been in here since they got back. It was a weird feeling. Even though he stopped training didn't mean he stopped working out. He already had on his armor and bayard in hand.

The weight was familiar in his hands but, it was now different. He knew that it was the same bayard he always used. But now that everything was different. His bayard just seemed different. Then again. So was he. So was everyone else.

Keith stood in the center of the room and started his training.

\----------------------------------

Pidge wandered the halls of the castle. She didn't think her brain could handle anymore work for now.

She entered the lounge and sighed. She didn't want to lay around now. She wanted to do something. Something besides work. So she exited the room... then that's when it changed.

She felt her heart stop. She stopped breathing.

The rooms. The halls. It was the colors. The colors of the castle changed. It changed to purple. She finally started breathing again, fast and hard. Then she looked around quickly. The room she just exited, gone. It was just a wall now. The halls were now small. They had purple walls.

"S-Sh-Shiro?" Her voice felt small and weak.

She down at her robotic hand. She felt and saw herself shaking. It was gone. It was her normal hand.

Her mind wasn't thinking right. She knew that what she was seeing wasn't real. She wasn't back on that ship. She wasn't hurt. Sendak wasn't here.

She quickly looked down at herself and saw that she was back in her armor. Blood all over it. That big crack was there. The wound where Keith's knife was... was back.

"No." Pidge's voice was shaky. 

She went to touch her wound and she then heard footsteps. Even if she wasn't back there. She wasn't going to risk it. She quickly hid around the nearest corner.

\----------------------------

Shiro, Allura and Coran were looking for Pidge. She wasn't in her room or the hanger. The knew she wasn't with Hunk or Lance. Since they saw them and asked. 

"Maybe the lounge?" Allura looked around her.

Shiro knew that she probably was resting for bit. Since she would take breaks in there when she could.

"Maybe but--"

His words were cut off when something... No. Someone ran past them. Shiro looked back and saw Pidge running.

"Pidge?"

\------------------------------

Pidge didn't know what to do. 

She ran fast to the hangers. She needed to get out of here. She just needed a ship. Take a pod and go home.

Home. 

Why did that thought seem so weird?

She felt herself breathing way too hard. Why was it so hard to breathe right now?

Pidge hid around the nearest corner again. She needed to focus and catch her breathe.

Her eyes made their way to her legs. Something wasn't right. Should she feel pain in her legs? But why?

\----------------------------

Pidge fought hard against the hands that held her down. She kicked and screamed. But she didn't fight hard enough.

Soon. She was forced back into that chair again. Tied down.

"Can't have you run off again." Sendak voice seemed louder this time.

Why did it seem louder this time?

He faced her and in his hands were a... sword? 

"You're pretty fast." Sendak gripped the handle tight. "But let's make sure you don't do that again."

Pidge knew something was going to happen. She watch him raised the sword in that air. She tried to struggle even though she knew that is useless.

What she didn't see, was the sword down going. She only noticed when she felt pain. Pidge cried out in pain and tears fell down her face. It was a great pain. A new pain. Pain she didn't know she could feel.

Sendak knew different ways of pain. And he was going to make sure the Green Paladin was going to feel them all. 

A smile was on his face. He could hear blood spilling and the sound of the sword scraping against the metal chair as he did so. He heard as the Green Paladin cry out.  
He looked at his work. Somehow the smile had gotten bigger. The sword still in her thigh. Right in the middle.

"I think that should do." Sendak said. "Don't you think Little One?"

Pidge was sobbing. As much as she tried to hold in the sobs. She was failing. She felt herself shaking and it pained her. Because if she was shaking then her leg was shaking. She could feel the sword still in her leg. 

Of course he was going to leave it there. For how long? She didn't know. She just wanted to stop.

"But then again...." Sendak brought her out of her thoughts. "You have two legs. You can still run with one, right?"

Pidge sobbed harder. She knew where he was going with this. She knew that it was going to happened.

"P-ple-please..." Pidge sobbed out. "S-stop."

Sendak was loving her plead. He was loving her beg. 

"I'm sorry did you hear something?" Sendak looked at the Druids that were in the room, chuckling. He then turned the Green Paladin. "Sorry Little One. But you did escape. And that can go unnoticed. Not on my watch. You must be punished."

She heard him move around and then she felt her head being forced to look at him.

"You have to see this time." Sendak raised the sword in the air.

Pidge fought against the Druids grip on her head. But they were stronger. She watched him bring it down harder this time.

She screamed out harder this time. She felt nothing but pain. She heard as Sendak was laughing.

\------------------------------

"Why would she be running?" Lance questioned as he was searching each room.

Shiro and the others were searching the castle for Pidge. He told them to help out since he was worried about her.

He knew that she was seeing this that aren't real. He knew that she wasn't thinking right. What didn't know what how long it was going to last.

\--------------------------

Pidge didn't know where to go. She knew the layout of each Garla ship. So why was this one different? She just wanted to leave. She just wanted to go back to the castle. To the others...

The others. Were the others on the ship? She needed to find out. She wasn't just going to leave them.

\------------------------

Keith was still in his armor as he searched for her. Shiro told him what was going on. So Keith stopped training and wanted to find Pidge. 

The ship was pretty big, everyone knew that. So Pidge could be anywhere. So they split up and all went by themselves. 

Just when he thought he wasn't going to find her. 

He saw her.

"Pidge?" 

He stopped in his tracks and saw her looking around the corner. Her back to him. Trying her best to hide as best as she could.

"Pidge?" He called out a little louder this time. 

He took small steps towards her. His hands out in front of him, showing that he wasn't going to harm her.

\---------------------

"Pidge?" 

She quickly turned around and saw Keith. Keith? How did he escape?

"Keith?" Pidge quickly looked around her. "What are you doing? Hide."

She watched as Keith frowned. Not understanding what she was saying. She rolled her eyes and grabbed his arm and yanked him next to her against the wall.

"How did you get out?" Pidge asked as she was looking out. "Are the others awake?"

"Wh-what are talking about?" Keith asked. "The others are looking for you. Are you okay?"

\---------------------

"Do I look okay?" Pidge gestured to herself. "I'm bleeding. My armor is messed up."

Keith now knew what was going on. Pidge was fine. She wasn't bleeding. She wasn't wearing her armor. 

She was thinking she was back on that ship.

"Pidge, listen." Keith said. "It's not real. You're safe. Your back on the cas--"

"I hear someone." Pidge whispered.

Keith peered over the corner and saw Lance.

\--------------------

A Garla soldier was walking their way. Pidge needed to find the others quick. Keith seemed fine. He wasn't hurt.

"Do you have your bayard?"

\---------------------

"Y-yeah." Keith said. 

"I don't have mine on me." Pidge said. "We need to attack that soldier."

"But that's Lance." 

Pidge frowned at him.

"Pidge just listen." He stopped her from talking. "That's Lance. You're back on the castle. You're not there. Look at your hand."

Keith grabbed her robotic hand and showed her. 

She looked at it and frowned again. 

"Are you okay Keith?" Pidge asked.

"Yes." Keith sighed. "Pidge... Can you feel this?"

Keith knew where the wounds once were. It was carved in his head. He remembered where each knife, sword and any wound was. He hated how he remembered it. 

He poked at her knife wound. Were his knife was. She didn't feel it.

"Wha...." Pidge felt herself breathing way too hard. "K-Keith?" Her voice was now shaky.

He watched as tears formed in her eyes. 

"Wh-what's going on?"

"You're safe." Keith gave her a small smile.

Pidge eyes now felt heavy. Keith quickly caught her as she fell. 

Panic washed over him. Pidge just fainted. He screamed for help. He screamed for someone. He screamed for Lance who was just passing by. He screamed for her to wake up.


	15. Understanding the truth.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team tries to figure out what's wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy.  
> Also I might be uploading more slower. Mainly because I'm trying to figure things out so the story makes more sense.  
> But don't worry. I'll post what I can.  
> Like I said.  
> I will finish this story.

Shiro was pacing back and forth. It didn't help that Keith was also doing the same, but on the other side of the room. 

Their footsteps echoing throughout the whole room.

"Please make it stop." Lance whined at Hunk, tugging at his shirt. "I don't think I can take the sound anymore."

Hunk sighed. He had to admit, it was getting annoying. But he also knew that they had every right to pace the room. Pidge was laying in the medbay not far from them. Coran and Allura were running some scans on her.

They found her in Keith's arms. He seemed scared for the first time, at least from what Hunk can remember. Hunk was pretty sure that Keith was about to faint himself. But luckily he was there to coax him. He helped Keith up to his feet and calmed him down. Telling him everything was going to be alright. Even though he didn't really didn't know for sure. He still doesn't know for sure.

Now, Shiro and Keith were pacing the room. As if them doing that was going to make Pidge appear in the room. Although he didn't mind if she did. But he knew it wasn't going to work, or do them any good.

"Uhh..." Hunk tried his best to get Shiro's and Keith's attention. It slightly did. "Can you guys please sit down? I think us worrying about her isn't going to help."

"You weren't there." Keith and Shiro said at the same time. He didn't know if it was worry or anger in their voice.

But he knew that they were referring to. Two different things actually. One being when they first got her and the other just being recent.

But, of course he was there. He was there when Sendak did what he did. He also wasn't that far from Lance. He heard Keith shout for someone. He's pretty sure he never heard Keith cry out for help like that. But he was glad he did.

\----------------------------------

"Seems we were right." Coran mumbled out, looking at a tablet, frowning. "The quintessence is affecting her."

"I can feel it." Allura had her hands hovering over Pidge. Moving her hands back and forth. "It's something that... Coran you think there's a way for me to extract it? Then maybe we can.... seal it maybe? Or at least contain it?"

Coran put his finger on his chin. Deep in thought. "It might harm you too. In order to extract the quintessence, it needs to run throughout your body first. It might be pretty risky."

"I'm willing to risk it." Allura quickly said. Putting her hands to her side. "If Pidge will continue to suffer then--"

"No..." 

They both look down and saw Pidge slightly moving around. Her face scrunched up. Sweat was forming quickly on her face. She was mumbling out words. Her body doing small jerks as she did so.

They knew what she was dreaming about. And they didn't like it one bit.

"I have to do it now." Allura grabbed Pidge's hand, her real hand. Soothing her to calm down from her nightmares. "We can worry about the down side of everything later. But right now, she needs it."

Coran thought about it again. He was more worried now. Allura was pulling a risky move. But they knew that helping Pidge was something that they both wanted. What everyone wanted.

"Okay." Coran nodded. Not entirely agreeing with it. But he knew that there was no stopping her. "But please be careful."

Allura noded and slowly shut her eyes. Starting to concentrate on the quintessence. She moved her hands around and found the source. She started to pull gently.

Coran's eyes widen.

"Princess wait!" Coran quickly grabbed her hands, stopping her.

"What is it---" Her eyes widen too.

The main source was in Pidge's heart. 

Allura stopped and took a small step back. 

Out fear. 

Out if disbelief. 

"I-it..." Coran tried to keep his voice clam. "It can't be done."

Allura tried to find the words. Any word. But nothing came out.

\------------------------

"What does that mean?" Keith was the first to ask.

They were all out in the hall. Standing next to the medbay. Shiro's face was full of worry. Not only his face. But everyone's.

"If it's in her heart...." Coran was the one trying to explaining everything. "Then it might be more riskier than we thought. It might not even work."

"It's seems to be attached to her heart." Allura said. She was looking down at her hands. "I'm afraid if I start extracting it...."

"There could be permanent damage to her heart. Or worse.... she...." Coran sighed. "She might die."

Everyone didn't like what he said. They didn't like it one bit. They all felt their own heart's stop.

"It's not only that..." Allura couldn't look anyone in the eyes. "It's not only attached to her heart but.... It seems... It seems to be the main source."

"Main source?" Shrio asked. 

He tried to keep a cool expression. He didn't like that one bit. He knew what it meant. But he wasn't just going to assume. But then again, he knew better.

"Yes." Allura said.

"What does that mean?" Keith seem to have anger in his voice now.

"It means." Shiro said through clenched teeth. "It's what's been keeping her alive this whole time. Right?"

Everyone looked at Shrio then at Allura. Their eyes wide.

"Yes." Allura slightly nodded. Still not looking anyone in the eyes. "It means that once I extract quintessence from her heart.... Pidge will...."

Lance didn't like any of the words being said right now. He just wanted to shut off his ears. He just wanted everything to go back to normal. He felt his heart stop and race at the same time. He felt like he was going to throw up. He wanted to punch something. He wanted to curl up in ball and cry on the floor. He wanted to something else. Any else beside standing here, listening to what was being said right now.

Hunk. Hunk was already crying. He already felt tears run down as soon as Coran started talking. He knew what he said wasn't going to be good as soon as they walked out. He could tell by his expression.

God. He just wanted Pidge here with them. Laughing, talking, mad at them, just anything besides her laying in the next room. He wanted her to not go through what she went through. In some ways it felt like it was all his fault. But he knew it wasn't. He had no control of anything that happened.

He knew the main source being her heart wasn't good. It was just bad.

Keith felt pure anger. But he couldn't feel that anger right now. Instead he just felt shock. He didn't want to believe Coran's words to be true. So they weren't. Right now he was in denial. It was the best thing he could do. If anything. He was going to find a way. He wasn't going to accept anyone's word now. He was going to find a way. Not matter what. This was going to be for Pidge. He was doing this for her. She was going to out live them. She was going to be alright.

Shrio knew what he was going to do. He was going to find a way. There had to be a way. Pidge hasn't found her family yet. It wasn't fair for him, her, or anyone standing here. If anything. Sendak, Haggar and the Druids were going to pay. They were going to all pay. No matter what.

They were all going to make sure that Pidge was going to be alright.

No matter what.

\-------------------------------

Pidge quickly sat up. Sweat was running down her face. She was breathing fast and hard. 

A dream. No. A nightmare. She was back there. Sendak was there. Bringing her pain. Nothing but pain. Talking to her. Telling her lies. Telling her anything.

She looked around the room. She felt like she could finally breathe. She was back at the castle. She was in the medbay. She was safe. 

Safe.

She looked down at her body. She was fine. Nothing wrong. It was all a dream. A nightmare.

Pidge's robotic hand made its way to her chest. When she was dreaming....

She felt something. Something tugging at her heart. She tried to remember what that was. 

The Druids. They kept her alive. Kept her alive. Pidge knew how. They used their own quintessence. Filling her heart and stuffing it with their own quintessence. 

Then something crossed her mind.

No.

Pidge shook her head. No. It wasn't true.

They. Kept. Her. Alive. With. Their. Quintessence.

She looked down at her chest. She gripped tight at her shirt. Tears were falling down. The Druids kept her alive. 

It was why she's still breathing now. 

She did die. She died and didn't come back. It was only the Druids that brought her back. Quintessence are a life force. A person's life force. And Pidge's was gone. Died, died with her. 

Maybe if she only died two or three times. If she did. Then there would be no problem now. It would've been only a small problem. Not this.

It was the reason why she always felt restless. Why she felt full after only eating so little. Why her connection with Green was so bad. It was because Pidge wasn't here. The real Pidge died. 

Now. It all made sense. Why that small thought crossed her mind. Why she needed to feel that pain again. It wasn't the pain is needed to feel again. It was their quintessence. It kept her alive. It was why she was still alive.

'Now you understand!'

Pidge quickly looked behind her. Then around the room. That voice was so loud. It felt like it was right next to her.

"Wh-who's there?" Pidge's voice was shaky.

She tried to sound calm. She put her feet on the floor and looked around the room more. She was ready to fight. Even though she didn't where the voice was coming from.

'You have nothing to worry about.' 

That voice. Pidge knew that voice. It was Haggar. She felt her heart race. 

Pidge shook her head back and forth. This had to be dream.

But then...

Everything quickly faded.

\---------------------------

"Seems I can still control her." Haggar smirked. 

"Good." Sendak spoke up. His voice booming. "But let's have some fun before we bring her to us first."

"The quintessence are strong within her, but it seems it's getting weaker. The Druids did as they were told. They'll be waiting for your orders Sendak."


	16. Stop the pain.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge wants the pain to stop.  
> Shiro and the others want some answers.

Keith finally punched the wall. He needed to get that anger out.

"Keith!" Shiro said sternly. "I know your upset but--"

"'Upset?!" Keith had fire in his eyes. "I'm anything but upset! If anything I'm pissed! He's going to pay! Sendak. Is. Going. To. Pay!"

Keith punched the wall again. This time harder.

"Keith!" Shrio grabbed his arm. Stopping him from punching the wall again. "I know okay! But trust me. Being angry won't help right now. We'll find a way. Okay? There has to be a way."

Keith shut his eyes tight. He knew there had to be a way. He had to believe for himself but, but mostly for Pidge's sake. They were going to find a way. 

"Pidge?" 

Lance broke the silence and caught everyone's attention. There heads snapped to the door. Pidge was standing there. She had her hand on her head. She was rubbing her eye.

"Are you okay?" Lance went to her side with worry in his voice.

"Fine." Pidge sighed, letting her hand drop to her side.

A confused look was on her face. Mainly because everyone was standing outside by the door. 

"Everything okay?" Pidge asked. 

Shrio didn't know what to say. She had the right to know. It was her life. Not his. This was something that he couldn't protect her from. She had to know. 

"Pidge." Shiro stepped forward. He looked down at her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I think we should talk about something. Something you have to know."

\----------------------

Pidge felt the tears run down her face. She tried her best to hold the sobs. To stop the tears. The pain was too much. She felt the blood pooling in her seat.

"There." Sendak smirked. "Now, you can't walk. Shame too. I would love to see you in the ring with the others."

So that was the plan. Of course. Zarkon wanted them to fight for their lives. Pidge didn't expect anything else. 

"Now, Little One." Sendak said. "Maybe I should let the Druids have their fun with you."

Pidge felt nothing but panic. She just wanted the pain to stop. 

"N-no." Pidge picked up her head. She tried to look him in the eyes. Right now she could only look through one eye. "Pl-p-please."

Sendak's smirk turned into a smile. It was now he got the Green Paladin begging. This was something he looked forward too. To him this was a victory. He finally got the Green Paladin begging.

"Oh don't worry." Sendak started walking out of the room. "It will only be for a few vargas. Maybe"

With that, he was now gone.

Pidge tired to fight against the bounds that held her down. She didn't want to feel this pain. Her eye widen as she saw the Druids raise their hands in the air.

Sendak smirked as he heard the Green Paladin screams as he walked down the halls.

\------------------------

"We think it was the Druids." Shiro said. He was trying to keep his voice calm. He didn't know if he was succeeding. "But Allura wants to check again. Just in case."

Pidge listened as she heard him finish. 

She didn't have to tell them anything. She didn't have to go into full detail about what happened. They found out themselves. In some ways she was glad. 

"It's okay." 

She heard someone say. Not sure who. But she clenched the front of her shirt. 

They all knew that the Druids kept her alive. They all now knew that she died many times. But they didn't know how many times. She knew that whatever number they were thinking, was wrong. Because Pidge did count. She counted every time. 

\----------------------

Sendak walked into the room. He smiled as he heard screams fill the room. He motioned the Druids to stop and they followed his orders.

"I'm back." Sendak said. 

He walked towards the Green Paladin. Her head was down. Frowning he motioned the Druids and they did as they were told. They went to grab a syringe and poked it into her neck.

Pidge felt herself more awake again. Her head snapped up and then straight forward. Sendak was standing right in front of her. His arms were crossed.

"Sorry I was gone the whole night again." Sendak smirked. "I'm just mostly sorry that I didn't see how many times you died. To hear you scream."

Pidge weakly fought against the bounds. She wanted to punch him. Her body ached. She didn't know if she could take the pain anymore.

"P-please." Pidge's voice was almost gone. It was weak and very hard to hear. 

Sendak continued to smirk. He knew, heard the plea of her voice. 

"If you don't want anymore pain, all you had to do was ask." Sendak said. "I was hoping you would say that."

Pidge didn't know if his words were true. She hoped that in his sick mind, he would stop. She hoped and prayed that his words were true.

"Bring them in." Sendak said.

Pidge felt herself relax a bit. But she didn't know what he meant. Was there going to be a different kind of torture? Or....

Wait. 

He said them. She hoped that he didn't mean what she thought. 

\------------------------

"I've kind of knew about it." Pidge mumbled out. She slowly let go of her shirt. Looking down at her robotic hand. "I knew what the Druids did to me."

They sat in the lounge. She figured that if she were to tell them anything right now. It would be best if they were sitting down.

Again. She didn't know if she should tell them. Part of her screamed not to tell them. Another part of her was begging her to tell them. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what part to listen to.

"Pidge?" Shiro voice was full of worry.

"Whenever I died...." Pidge started fumbling with her hand. "They would bring me back. That was Haggar's orders. Or.... Zarkon's orders."

"Zarkon?" Lance frowned. "I figured that if he ever got us he wanted us dead. Why would he want us alive?"

"My mind is hazy on the details as of why." Pidge still wasn't making eye contact with them. "But...."

\-----------------------

"Look it here Little One." Sendak smiled. 

Pidge heard shuffling around and some things being dropped down in front of her. She picked her head up and saw..... 

God no.

It was everyone. He brought her team. They were still asleep. She figured it was more like a coma. But still.

"I've brought your team." Sendak lightly kicked Hunk's arm. "Still asleep. Should we wake them?"

"No!" Pidge felt panic raise in her chest. She tried to fight against the bounds that held her down. "No please!"

"But you said it yourself. You want the pain to stop. So I'm stopping your pain. It's time for theirs. It's only fair."

"Please!" Pidge shouted out. "No! Please!"

Sendak got on one knee and picked up Lance by his head. That smile never leaving his face.

"No!"

\----------------------

"Zarkon wanted all of us to fight in the arena." Pidge sighed. "Well.... Just you guys. Since when I escaped....."

She couldn't bring herself to finish what she was going to say. Maybe hiding the truth for now was best. It just seemed right for now.

"It's okay Pidge." Shiro put his hand on her shoulder.

She knew he meant well. But she also knew that he wasn't there. For almost four quintants straight. She felt nothing but pain. Endless pain. Sendak brought every pain he could think of. He made her feel it. Made her remember it.

"When they found out I was the only one awake." Pidge continued. "Haggar took me."

"They wanted information." Keith said. It wasn't a question. 

He knew the Garla wanted to know their weakness. So they took Pidge and tortured her. They all thought this.

"No." Pidge lightly shook her head. "They just.... just wanted to see...."

No. She wasn't going to say it. She wasn't going to tell them. She knew they wouldn't take this new information well. That once the words were said, she couldn't take them back.

But how much longer could she hold it in? How much images she needs to see in order to actually talk to them about it? How many times does she need to relive those four qunintant's? How much longer can she keep quiet? When would be the right time?

For god sakes. She held it all in. She hasn't spoken a word about what happened. Not out loud. To them or herself. Instead she got ready like any other day like nothing ever happened.

But isn't that what you would do? After something like this happening to someone you know? Move on? Live each day and move on? 

But she also knew that this was different. She was smart enough to know that. 

That she was moving on in a unhealthy way. Acting like nothing had ever happened. Keeping the nightmares and hallucinations to herself. It seemed to work so far. So why does this feel good and bad? 

Good, because she could look in the mirror. Bad, because she can't stare for too long. Good, because she can laugh at jokes now. Bad, because pain quickly follows. Good, because she can push the nightmares away. Bad, because they come back stronger. Good, because she can finally talk to Green. Bad, because she can't do it for too long. Good, because her team can talk to her like nothing had happened. Bad, because they talk about it behind her back.

Good.

Bad.

Which was.... the right choice? Which one felt right? The right choice. Which was the right choice?

Of course good was the right answer. 

But... She can handle it. 

Right?


	17. Her team waits.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge talks to her team for a bit about what happened.  
> Sendak gives Pidge an option.  
> Lance and Hunk are worried about Pidge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter.  
> On another note. There might be times where I'll upload more than one chapter in one day.  
> Also you might be confused about everything.  
> It's the battle of the mind for Pidge. Everything seems out of sorts for her.  
> But I know that you already knew that. I'm just saying though.

Everyone watched as Pidge was staring at her hand. Her robotic hand. Right now they were still waiting. They had the time. They had all the time for her right now.

Time for her to start healing.

It was all surprising to all of them that Zarkon wanted them alive. It made sense but then it didn't. Zarkon spent this whole time trying to kill them with every chance he got. Then something just.... change? Nothing just made sense to them right now.

To Shiro, he knew Zarkon had a bigger plan. Bigger than what Sendak said to Pidge. It was something that just didn't sit right with him.

Keith was pissed again. They took her and tortured her. And what was he doing all of this? Asleep. His was freaking asleep. 

Hunk tried to keep his head on right. He felt like this was the right thing to do. His team needed him. Pidge needed him.

Lance felt.... Anger? Sadness? Pidge was still putting up all these walls. He knew that there are many walls. He was going to listen and help her let it out.

"Pidge." Allura spoke up. "What did the Druids do to you?"

Pidge sighed but it came out shaky. "They kept me alive." She shrugged. "What's more to say? They made sure that if I did die. That I would be brought right back."

She didn't want to tell them they brought her so much pain too. She didn't know why she couldn't bring herself to tell them the truth. Even if it was a little bit. If anything. She was trying to find a way to twist the truth in anyway she could.

Allura knew better. She knew that Pidge was hiding something. Hiding more than she was letting on. She looked around at the others. They seem to just listen. Allura was trying to understand more. For Pidge's health.

\----------------------------------

"No please!" Pidge contuied to fight against the bounds. "No!"

"So you want more pain?" Sendak smirked. "But you said you didn't. Plus, I think it's time for them to wake up."

Sendak slowly tightened his grip on Lance's head.

"NO!" Pidge cried out. "Sendak please!"

Sendak slowly let go of his grip and looked at her in the eyes.

"Then say it." He had a blank stare.

Pidge felt her tears run down her face. What did her want her to say? What did he want to hear?

"Wha--"

Sendak face turned slowly angry as he now had a firm grip on Lance's head. Lance was now starting stirring in his sleep.

"No! Please stop!"

"Say it!"

"Please...." She was sobbing. "Hurt me.... Please."

"....no..." Lance scrunched up his face, eyes still closed. "Don't.... hurt... her."

Sendak dropped Lance's head and stood up straight. The smile on his face returning.

"Say it again. This time say it right."

"Please...." Pidge couldn't looked him in the eyes. "Please hurt me."

"Look at me."

Pidge's eyes made there way to his. She hated his smile. Hate filled her eyes. Sendak saw the hate in her eyes and lifted his foot. Pidge watched as he did so. His foot slowly stepping on Lance's head.

"No!" Pidge now locked eyes with Sendak. "Hurt me please! Don't hurt him! Don't hurt them!"

Sendak just smiled, his foot didn't move. 

"Please!" Pidge's voice was full of panic. "Hurt me!"

Sendak didn't move.

"Please!" Pidge's eyes started to water. "Please! Don't hurt them! Hurt me!"

Sendak removed his foot and stared her down. He watched as she cried. Still begging out as she sobbed.

"So you want the pain?" Sendak asked. Knowing the answer. "You want to pain to continue? Do you want it to stop?"

"I want the pain." Pidge cried out as her head hung down. "Please. Hurt me."

Sendak smirked. He broke her. 

He broke the Green Paladin.

\-----------------------------

Everyone sat in silence. They took this new information. Took it in and let it sit there.

Shrio felt guilty. Not just him. Everyone did. They all had their reasons.

Shiro. Because he was their leader. He was supposed to protect them. To make sure that they were safe. 

Keith. Because he felt like a big brother to her. They were arms of Voltron together. He was strong enough to protect her. But he didn't. He couldn't.

Hunk. Because he's big, strong. He could've done something. He couldn't protected her. Now he has to live with it.

Lance. Because he was a big brother to her. He was the one person who could aim right. He should've stopped the blow that the witch Haggar did. 

Allura. Because she's in charge of them. She was supposed to lead them. Made sure they made it back to the castle safe.

Coran. Because he was their backup in a air battle. He provided cover for all of them. He should've stopped the witch Haggar.

Pidge's eyes finally made their way to her team. She saw their expression. Shocked, angry, sad.

She now knows hiding the truth is the best way for them to move on. Not only for her to heal. But for them to heal.

"How many times did you die?" Keith asked. 

He didn't want to know. But he did. Something pushed those words out of his mouth. 

Everyone was looking at him. Then they all looked over to Pidge. They didn't want to know the answer. But they needed to know. Some part of them wanted to know something. Something that happened to her. Maybe if they knew something, anything. It would help them help her. 

"I-I don't want to talk about it." Pidge still couldn't bring herself to look at any of them.

Pidge felt tears forming in her eyes. So she brought her knees to her chest. 

This is one thing she hated. She hated being weak in front of everyone. Especially her team. She knew that they cared for her, and that they didn't care. But still.... She is a Paladin of Voltron.

"Sorry." Keith spoke up. "I-I didn't mean to--"

"It's fine." Pidge said. "I know you guys just care about me. But don't worry. I'm fine now."

It felt like a lie. It was a lie. Everyone and Pidge knew this. A lie that they ignored for her. 

Pidge wasn't fine in any way shape or form. She was about to attack Lance. She ran from Shiro and the others because she thought that they were Garla. She was actually reliving a past. A traumatic past. 

"You're not fine." Lance mumbled out.

He wasn't looking at anyone. His eyes staring down at the floor. Sadness in his eyes.

Pidge looked up at Lance. She was surprised he said the words out loud. Lance didn't like this one bit. Each part of him was screaming, wanting to scream at her.

Wanting nothing more than for her to actually talk to them. To tell them what happened. But he knew, they knew, that they couldn't force her to just talk about it like nothing.

Pidge looked back at the ground. She knew that everyone at least wanted some answers. And she was glad that they weren't pushing for them.

But she also knew that the truth was going to come out sooner or later. But she was glad it isn't now.

\----------------------

Keith didn't remember changing but he found himself lying on his head. Staring at nothing. Pidge didn't talk. No talked after Lance spoke. Pidge was the first to leave and then the others slowly left, one by one.

Keith didn't like this, he hated this. He just wanted everything to go back to normal. Back to everyone playing and running around like kids, and then he would complain about them not being serious. He knew they were. He just like saying it. It was his normal.

He sighed and closed his eyes. Thinking. Trying to find a way to help Pidge. He made a promise and he was going to see to it that it would be done. The only thing he knew was that the Druids kept her alive. Zarkon wanted them to fight in the arena. Haggar and Sendak just tortured her, just cause they could.

The only thing was actually helpful was the Druids keeping her alive. It was the main reason why she was still breathing. Why she's here now. But it seems that their.... Energy?..... Quintessence? Either way, Pidge needs more. Or someone's else.

Wait....

Maybe he could ask more about with Allura. 

Keith now had an idea. It could work. Or it couldn't.

He smiled as he got up from his bed and made his way out.

\--------------------------

"Try this." Hunk handed a blow of food to Lance. "Tell me if it needs something else."

Lance took it without hesitation and got a spoonful. He chewed and looked deep in thought as he chewed.

"Needs salt." Lance said through a mouthful. "And it's too chewy."

Hunk sighed as he took the blow back.

"Maybe it's supposed to be chewy." Hunk muttered.

"Judging by your reaction, it wasn't." Lance was still chewing. "Man... It's really chewy."

"I think I added too much...." Hunk looked down at the ingredients in front of him. "Ah!"

Hunk picked up what looked like... Lance didn't know what it looked like. He just knew that it was alien and very weird looking. Hunk dropped into the bowl and it seemed the color of the food changed slowly.

"Whoa...." Lance peered over Hunk's shoulder. "Does it always do that?"

"Depends." Hunk shrugged.

Lance continued to watch Hunk. His thoughts slowly getting the best of him.

"You think Pidge is okay?" Lance asked quietly.

Hunk slowed his stirring and sighed again. "I would like to think so. I hope so but.... I think by now that she isn't."

"She's getting more distance from us." Lance took his turn to sigh. "She seems to be working and working on something new. Something that Coran can fix. Something that you can fix. I could even fix the stuff she's working on."

"I think we should respect her space now."

"How could you say that?!" Lance raised his voice. "You and I both know that she needs talk about it. She needs to know that we are all here for her. That we'll listen and help her. No matter what."

"Yeah..." Hunk stopped what he was doing, facing Lance. "But we really don't know everything. I mean we obviously know that she's hiding more than she lets on. We can't rush her. If we do that then.... She might just hate us for that. She might shut us out more."

Lance didn't know that he was crying. He only noticed when Hunk handed him a napkin. 

Lance cared about Pidge. He wanted to know everything, then he didn't. He could play dumb with her if she wanted, then he couldn't. It was a very confusing feeling for him now. Hunk watched as Lance wiped away his tears. A warm small on his face. He pulled Lance into a side hug.

"It's going to be okay." Hunk whispered, then he pulled Lance into an actual hug. "We'll be here for her. And I'll be here for you. Promise."


	18. A test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge, Hunk and Lance slowly start to train with her since her mind seems to be everywhere.  
> Keith has a plan to help Pidge. Shiro, Allura and Coran help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for my absence. Just been so lazy since work and everything. Plus I've been thinking about the future of this story.  
> So I hope you enjoy this chapter.

It was hard to breathe. It was harder to even move an inch. Even picking up her head was starting to be a struggle.

Then she felt her head being picked up by the back of her head. She saw, Sendak. He always had that smile on his face. She wanted nothing more than to wipe it off his stupid face. Or at least do something about it, but she couldn't.

"Tell me Little One." Sendak leaned down, only a couple of inches away from her face. "You want the pain to stop? Or do wish to keep going?"

"I-I...." Pidge's voice was almost gone. It was hard to even hear her. "...I want... t-th-the... p-pain."

Sendak smirked as he let go of her head, letting her head drop back down. He stepped back and nodded at the Druids to continue their 'work'.

Her screams now filled the room.

\----------------------

"Keith," Allura stopped in her tracks, facing Keith. "I don't think you know how quintessences work. It's very tricky and very dangerous for me to even extract the tiniest bit of quintessences from her heart."

"What if you replace it instead?" Keith asked. Hoping they could at least try something. Anything.

"Replace it?" Corna asked, looking up from his tablet. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what if we can some way replace it? Like we don't have to extract it. What if we give her someone else's quintessences? Wouldn't that just push out the other quintessences? It could help her. It could even save her."

Allura and Coran seem to really think about his questions, about his theories that seemed so insane. But they both knew that it could be done, somehow. The only questioned remained was, how? How could they do it? It seemed only the Druids knew how to do it and it's not like they could stop by and ask the Druids or even Haggar.

Allura could at least try to do it. Coran knew that it was somewhat possible. Even if it was very dangerous.

"The only question is, who?" Allura asked. "Who's quintessences?"

"Mine."

Keith quickly turned his head around and saw Shiro walking around the corner. Keith almost forgot that they were standing the middle of the halls. Keith saw the look of determination on in Shiro's eyes.

\-------------------------

Pidge groaned as she tossed her prosthetic hand on her desk. She was working on making tiny weapons for her fingers. So far, it wasn't going great.

"You know, you could ask for help?" Hunk entered the hanger.

Pidge didn't bother turning around to face him. Instead she grabbed her prosthetic hand and put it back on. She knew that he was right, she could ask for help. But doing herself just seemed right to her for some reason.

"I know." Pidge sighed. "But, I can actually do this by myself. It's something simple that even Lance could probably do."

"If it's so simple then why are you having trouble?" Hunk now stood next to her. Looking down at the mess on her desk. "A lot of trouble by the looks of it."

"My brain seems to not be working with me right now." Pidge said. "Like the gears in my head aren't turning."

Which in some ways seemed so true to her. Her brain seemed like it was fried, like dying over and over again did the trick. Everything that seemed so easy, was now so hard. Pidge hated everything about it.

"Well, how about a break?" Hunk asked, breaking her thoughts. "And no. I don't mean laying around in the lounge." Pidge was about to speak but Hunk quickly spoke before she could. "And not with me in the kitchen. Let's try something we're both bad at."

Pidge frowned. For the first time. She didn't know what Hunk was planning. She didn't like the smile on his face. But doing something other than doing what she was doing now seemed like the best idea.

\--------------------------

Hunk laughed as soon Lance got shocked from the invisible walls from the maze. At first, Hunk was trying to hold in his laughter but, after many shooks later, he couldn't help but laugh now.

"Lance, buddy."

Lance heard Hunk's voice through his helmet. He was sweating a lot and finally pick himself up from the ground.

"I said to the left. Not right."

"I know!" Lance pouted, looking up at Hunk and Pidge who were in the control room. "I thought I heard right."

"Right and left sound nothing alike." Pidge commented. "Lance, it's left then right, then four steps forward, then right, then right again. Uh... left not right for that last one."

Lance took all of the information in and got it right up until the four steps part. Pidge and Hunk winced as Lance screamed and fell to the floor.

"That...." Lance slowly got up, catching his breath. "Was not four steps Pidge! I don't have tiny legs like you!"

Pidge had a blank expression. "Left."

Lance sighed and took his turn left and got shocked again.

"Pidge!" Lance got up from the floor again.

"Call me tiny again and see what happens." A smirk made its way to her face.

Hunk laughed harder as Lance tried to send a death glare towards her. Pidge didn't hesitate to quickly send one back.

"I think it's your turn!" Lance took off his helmet. "And I'll guide you."

"Fine." Pidge started walking out.

Hunk followed and ended the invisible maze. Lance held his helmet to his side. They watched as Pidge went out of the room to go change.

"You better not mess with her." Hunk said. "She'll get you back for sure."

"I won't." Lance rolled his eyes. "I know that once you mess with her, she'll make my life a living hell until she gets you back."

\--------------------

Pidge quickly got ready and was about to walk out when she stopped in her tracks. Her eyes made their way to the mirror that was on the wall.

Then it hit her.

This was the first time back in her armor since 'it' happened. Her hand made its way to the huge crack. Only this time, it wasn't there. Her hand then made its way to where Keith's knife was. It wasn't there.

Nothing was there. No open wounds. No pain. Nothing

She quickly started to shake off those thoughts and headed back to Lance and Hunk.

"Took you long enough." Lance complained as soon as she stopped out. "I was just about to send Hunk in after you."

"Why me?!" Hunk whined. "It was your idea for her to go. Not mine!"

"Yeah, but it was your idea that were in here in the first place."

"S-sorry." Pidge said. "It's just being in this suit is... it's just a little weird."

It was now hitting Hunk and Lance. This was her first time back into her armor. They felt like total idiots now.

"We can stop." Hunk immediately said. "You don't have to--"

"I'm already in it." Pidge gestured to herself. "Plus, I think it's time for me to start training again. I feel like I'm rusty."

Hunk and Lance both hesitated. Trying to think of the words to say next.

"If you're sure." Hunk finally said. "But as soon as it's too much for you, let us know."

"I will."

\-----------------------

It didn't matter if Pidge was weak right now. She was still going to fight for her life. After dying again, she felt that rush again.

It didn't last long this time. She slowly started to feel all the pain again. She could now feel the bruises that was on her wrist.

"Truly amazing." Sendak interrupted her train of thought. "Even after dying, you still fight. Your spirit is strong Little One."

"Bastar--"

Pidge cried out in pain as Sendak started twisting one of the knives in her thighs. Chuckling as he did so.

"Like everything else." Sendak continued. "It will break. I'm also warning you right now. Speak to me like that again and I'll bring one of your friends in here. And they'll nstay in here with you. Do you understand?"

Pidge knew he was true to his word. So the only thing she could do was look him in the eye.

"Y-yes." Her voice escaped her lips. "Sir."

\--------------------------

"Turn left." Lance said.

Pidge did what she was told.

"Uh... One step forward?" Lance dragged out his words as he isn't so sure of himself.

Pidge looked up at him. Anger was in her eyes. "Lance! If I get shocked!"

Lance was about to say something back but Pidge took one step forward. Nothing happened. Lance sighed with relief and Pidge waited again.

"Right!" Lance quickly said.

"Pidge wait!" Hunk shouted.

But it was too late. Pidge turned before Hunk's words were said and got shocked. She stumbled back a bit. She clenched her teeth, eyes shut tight. 

"Pidge!" Hunk ran to her.

"Shit!" Lance quickly turned off the invisible walls and ran alongside Hunk. "Pidge, I'm so sorry!"

They both watched as Pidge didn't say or do anything.

Pidge on the other hand. Many thoughts ran through her head. At first it almost felt like being back with the Druids. She felt her heart race. But that quickly went away when she realized that it was nothing like that. That it was all in her head.

It was in her head, right?

"Pidge are you alright?" Hunk shook her out of her thoughts.

"Y-yeah." Pidge took off her helmet. "Just took me by surprised."

"I'm sorry Pidge." Lance had worry in his voice and his eyes. "I d-didn't mean to... You know that I didn't to it on purpose right?"

"Yeah." Pidge said. She was trying her best to be calm for them. "There's no need to worry. I'm fine."

Lance didn't seem convinced. He only showed sadness now. Hunk was showing that he was worried.

"Really." Pidge put her helmet back on. "Let's try that again. And Lance?"

"Y-yeah?" Lance said weakly.

"Do that again," Pidge smirked. "I'll make your life a living hell."

Lance found that a smile slowly made its way to his face.

Hunk lightly chuckled and watched as Lance did the same. 

Pidge on the other hand. She was making her way to the center of the room. Ready to go at it again.

\----------------------------

Shiro felt himself getting more irritated at himself the more Coran spoke.

"I'm sorry." Coran finally said. "But it seems that you aren't cable of doing it. The Garla tech on your arm is.... Well it seems to be interfering with your own quintessences. It might help Pidge but not the way we might think. It might be best to not try it."

Keith watched as Shiro just sigh into his hands. He knew that Shiro was trying his best to help Pidge in anyway possible.

"So Haggar did some damage on me too." Shiro sighed again. "Thought so."

"Shiro?" Keith put a hand on his shoulder.

"I know that what she did would have an affect on me." Shiro said. "I also knew that this arm...." Shiro looked at his Garla arm. "It's Garla."

"But this doesn't mean we can't help Pidge." Keith said. "I'll try it. If not then I'm pretty sure that Hunk or even Lance well help us."

Shiro smiled at Keith who was trying his best to help him.

"Thanks Keith."

\----------------------------

Sendak entered the room. His face was serious.

Haggar stopped what she was doing and faced him.

"I want to run a small test for the Little One." Sendak said. "I want to see the connection for myself. Something small for her to complete."

Sendak smirked as Haggar nodded and called the Druids.


	19. Training day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team decides to train.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter.  
> I do feel bad for not posting for a long time. I tried posting a chapter yesterday but work took all of my energy.  
> Also fight scenes aren't my type of thing. I did try hard enough to explain it as best as I could. I don't know if I did a good job with it. But either way, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Today was training day. This was something that everyone was looking forward too. Since they haven't trained in what felt like forever.

The only ones who were worried were everyone else besides Lance and Hunk. Only a day has passed since Pidge trained with the two. They both knew that she could handle herself again, but they still were worried a bit.

"Maybe we'll do one on one." Lance put his helmet on. "I wouldn't mind sparring with you." 

Lance lightly hit Hunk on his arm. 

"It's been forever since we sparred together." Hunk smiled. "And I still have to get you back from last time."

"You should've been paying attention." Lance shrugged, a smirk on his face.

Pidge chuckled at their words. She remembered what they were referring too. Lance is a pretty good fighter. But then again, so is everyone else. They were Team Voltron after all. Fighting bad guys were like a daily thing. 

Lance had got the upper hand on Hunk, somehow. Lance doesn't know how and he didn't care at the time. Lance saw his chance and knocked down Hunk. Lance was very proud of himself for a long while after it happened.

"Pidge."

Pidge looked over to Shiro who was standing next to Allura and Coran. They all were walking towards her. Pidge was now afraid that they wouldn't let her train. But she was ready to stand up for herself if she needed to.

"Try not to push yourself too hard." Shiro said. "Let us know if--"

"Shiro." Pidge said sternly. "It'll be fine."

Shiro gave his best smile and put his helmet on. "Alright team. Today we're going to be doing some old training. We'll be fighting the gladiators. We'll do teams first. So only two people at a time."

"Oh!" Lance raised his arm up in the air as soon as Shiro finished. "I want to go first!"

Pidge smiled at the fact that Lance actually wanted to go first.

"I guess I'll go with him." Keith had his arms crossed.

Shiro nodded at them and they both went into the center of the room. Pidge leaned against the wall and watched Lance and Keith fight the gladiators. She looked over to Hunk who had the same expression as her. Boredom. The idea of waiting to fight was very boring.

"You think I can use my hand?" Pidge looked over to Shiro. "I've upgraded it a bit. I just want to test some things out."

"S-sure." Shiro said. "Just be careful."

Hunk peered over Shiro's shoulder and made his way to Pidge. He then leaned over to her a bit.

"What are you planning?" Hunk whispered. "You've already tested out some stuff out when we trained the other day."

"Not everything." Pidge tried to talk quietly. "Plus, I've made a few adjustments here and there since then."

"A few?" Hunk asked. "Or a lot?"

"I mean would you if you hand a robot hand?"

Hunk hummed and they both continued to watch the fight.

Lance swiftly dodged an attack and charged at the gladiator, knocking it back. Keith easily got the gladiator that was charging at Lance, taking it out. Keith used his sword and easily cut one in half like it was nothing. Lance quickly covered Keith when a gladiator tried to attack Keith from his side.

Lance used his bayard and shot it down. Then Lance quickly started shooting at gladiator's of that surround the two of them. Taking out almost all of them. Keith seemed to be quick on his feet, he dodge them and attack once he was right behind them. Keith made it seem like it was too easy most of time.

Now it seemed that all of the gladiators were all gone. They both already seemed out of breath and exhausted. Pidge started to put on her helmet when Shiro stopped her and out his hand on her shoulder.

"Me and Hunk we'll go next." Shiro said. "You can go with Keith after us."

Pidge was about to speak but they were already making their way towards the center of the room. Lance leaned against the wall next to her and then slid down to sit down on the floor.

"Man." Lance panted. "I'm so out of shape." He patted his stomach. "I guess I can't help it if Hunk's food is so tasty."

Pidge chuckled as Lance continued to pat his stomach. Then her attention made its way to the fighting as soon as it started.

Hunk didn't hesitate to punch the robot that faced him. Shiro seemed to almost do the same. Using his Garla hand to just rip them apart. Hunk would sometimes pick up a gladiator and toss it over his shoulder like it was nothing. Hunk would even body slam some of them.

Shiro easily took down many gladiators. He made it seem way easier than anyone could. But Pidge knew better to think otherwise. Shiro moved swiftly as he dodge attacks left and right. Attacking once he saw a opening.

Once they were done, Shiro stood up straight and smiled at Hunk. Hunk was out of breathe but managed to smile back at Shiro. Pidge saw their mouths move but could barely make out any words being said between the two. They both started making their way to the others, still talking.

"That was nice work Hunk." Shiro patted Hunk on the back. "You're movements are getting faster. I'm impressed."

"Thanks." Hunk started to stretch. "Man, but you made seem easy."

Shiro chuckled as he looked at Pidge. "You're up Pidge and Keith."

Keith and Pidge both put on their helmet and walked to the center of the room. Keith quickly took his stance, his bayard ready. Pidge followed him. Taking a stance and activating he bayard.

To her it felt like the fight was right away. One gladiator, then another, and another. Pidge forgot how fast they appeared right in front of them. Almost forgetting that she was in training, nearly missing an attack that was aiming for her head.

"Whoa!" Pidge quickly dodged another attack. "Too close."

"You alright?" Keith asked, taking down a gladiator, not looking her way.

"Fine."

Pidge quickly dodge every attack that was aimed towards her. She sliced through gladiators with her bayard. With one motion, Pidge took down penalty. She was starting to get out of breath. Sweat was running down her face already.

Just when she was about to attack one, she felt a heavy force push her down. Pidge slid on the ground and looked up at the gladiator that attacked her. It was already in the motion of attacking her. It held a weapon, and it started raising the weapon in the air with both arms. 

\---

Sendak raised the sword in the air. 

\---

The gladiator swiftly brought it down.

\---

Sendak swiftly brought it down.

\---

Pidge covered herself with her arms, eyes closed shut tight, waiting for the pain to come.

She waited and waited. 

Nothing came. 

Pidge slowly opened her eyes and slowly lowered her arms down. She saw Keith standing over the gladiator that was right in front of her, it was now on the floor. Keith was out of breath. Pidge could see the panic in Keith's eyes.

"Pidge?" Keith got down on one knee. "Are you alright?"

She didn't noticed how hard she was breathing. How much she was sweating. She felt the panic still in her chest. 

Why was it so hard to breathe right now? Why was it so hard to focus on anything right now?

"Pidge?" Shiro was now at her side. He was careful as to not to touch her, worried he might scare her.

It didn't take very long for everyone else to be at her side. They were all worried about her. Pidge was still spacing out. Mouth open and eyes wide. They knew that she wasn't fine. Lance got closer to her and kneeled down right in beside her.

"It's alright." Lance whispered out, reaching out to her. "You're fine now."

Pidge finally snapped out of it. Her mouth closed, her eyes not so wide now. The panic in her eyes, gone. She quickly looked around her. The panic was still there in her chest. She now noticed that the others were right in front of her with worry in their eyes.

"Wh-what...." Pidge breathed out.

"It's okay." Shiro said. "We'll stop the training for now." He now stood up straight and looked at everyone else. "We'll have a five minute break. Then we can train again."

Hunk held out his hand for Pidge to take. She grabbed it and was helped to her feet. 

"Sorry g-guys." Pidge took off her helmet. "I-I don't know w-what happened."

"It's alright." Lance got to his feet, putting a hand on her shoulder. 

Pidge did hate the fact that it happened. The images were so clear and they were so loud. She could hear Sendak's voice loud and clear. Like she was back there again.

Keith followed Hunk who was getting water. 

"That was nice work out there." Hunk took a huge gulp of water.

"Thanks." Keith said. "Even though it hasn't been that long since we all trained together. It sure feels like it though."

"I know what you mean." Hunk took another huge glup. "I feel like I'm way out of shape."

Keith looked over to Pidge who was sitting on the floor, back against the wall. Lance was walking his way towards Shiro.

Pidge sat there, thinking. Thinking about how she let herself space out. Thinking about how she left herself open during training. If she was fighting in a actual battle, she would be dead. She knew that she could do better than that. She just needed to push those thoughts, those images back. She could do it, she just needed to try hard enough.

Pidge picked up her helmet and stared at it. She could almost see her reflection in the face shield. To her it was weird. She was so use to Matt's glasses on her face. Use to taking it off to put on her helmet and putting it back on when she would take off her helmet. Now, she had to get use to not having it. Which she was getting use to.

It's the one thing she hated herself for. Getting use to everything so quickly. Like how she got use to the pain that was brought upon her while in the hands of the Druids. 

Okay, she lied. 

She didn't get use to the pain in general. Just the fact that pain would be always there. She got use to everything that happened to her.

Haggar, the Druids, and even Sendak. Right before Sendak brought the others in, she was starting to get use to his smirks, his smiles, laughs and chuckles. It was something that she now hates herself for. Getting use to something so quickly and accepting it like it was almost nothing.

But it was also something that she like about herself. Because with her getting use to everything so quickly was a good thing, in someway. She would get use to waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Get use to the voices inside her head. Get use to seeing her scars. Get use to the memory of everything that had happened.

It was the only thing she could do for now. Get use to it. To her, it was the only option for now. There was no other way, there's was nothing to do but to accept it.

She was going to use of everything. In some way she felt like she had to.

"Are you ready?" Shiro asked, breaking her train of thought. "It's okay for you to sit this one out."

Pidge did think about it, only for a few seconds. Instead, she got to her feet and put on her helmet. A smirk made its way to her face.

"I'm fine." Pidge said. "I can do it. I won't let it happen again."

A smile makes its way to Shiro's face. Pidge was strong. He knew this, everyone knew this. She was going to get through this. Nothing was going to stop her once she started. And for that he was glad.

Pidge couldn't help this feeling of panic rising up in her. 

Then, everything went black.


	20. Training as a team?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team is still in training.  
> Pidge is being controlled by Haggar and Sendak.  
> The team doesn't seem to notice.  
> Yet.

It was the pain that kept her awake most of the time. And when the pain wasn't keeping her awake. It was the Druids that made sure that she would stay awake. But the only thing that Pidge wanted was to just sleep. 

Right now. Sleep seemed good right now, but of course. The Druids pumped her up with something that quickly washed away the need to eat and sleep. 

"Seems you're having trouble staying awake again." Sendak spoke. "You humans are too weak. But your kind is the most fun to do this too."

Pidge didn't even bother to look up at him. She didn't bother to do anything. The pain was getting to much for her. If the pain killed her then she would be brought back to life. It was something she was getting used too by now. 

She hated it.

\----------------------

"Alright." Shiro was now standing in the middle of the room.

Shiro could see Allura and Coran leaving, talking in low voices. His mind went back to his team and looked back at them.

Everyone was waiting for their next training. He watched as everyone was listening as he talk, like their lives depended on it. He went on to explain to watch each others backs. Something that he would always say, even though he knew that they knew it by heart by now. 

Instead of fighting in two groups, Shiro thought it would be best for them to fight as one. The whole team to take up on a bunch of gladiators. He knew that this would be almost too easy for everyone, but he also knew it's been awhile since they trained. So maybe it was best to start off easy.

"Remember." Shiro says again, looking at everyone in the eyes. "Watch each others back."

They all nod and turn around, their backs to one another.

"Let's start."

\-------------------

Pidge was floating.... no? That doesn't seem right.

Wait. What's happening? This doesn't feel right. Nothing was feeling right.

Pidge was moving but her body wasn't.... wait. What?

Where is she? She started to take a quick looked around her. Pidge noticed that she was indeed floating. But she was floating in.... in darkness? 

What?

"Hello?!" Pidge shouted into the darkness. She could hear her voice echoing. "Shiro?! Keith?!"

She felt herself starting to panic. It didn't help that her voice was eoching into the darkness.

"Lance?! Hunk?!" Pidge was looking in all directions. "Allura?! Coran?!"

Nothing but darkness.

"Anybody?! Help! Shiro!"

\----------------

Keith felt himself sweating already. He moved swiftly out of the way and Hunk quickly covered him. He would be shocked about how Hunk quickly moved but his mind was more focused on the task at hand.

"Lance!" 

Keith heard Shiro shout. He took a quick look towards Lance's direction, he seemed fine. Shiro helped him and took out two more gladiators while doing so. Keith's eyes made their way towards Pidge who was dodging every hit and kick thrown at her.

Right now, he would've used his bayard but Shiro said to fight hand to hand. Bayards would've made this training too easy. Plus it does help them when they actually fight. Since most of the time their enemy kicks their bayards out of their hands or they drop it. Plus he knew that Hunk's and Lance bayards were more for far range than close range. 

It was his and Pidge's bayards that were meant for close range. It made sense in a way. They were the arms of Voltron and Lance and Hunk were the legs. It would make only sense for the arms to have bayards that were close range and the legs to have far range. But, he also knew that their bayards could change based on their strength or.... something? Keith really doesn't understand it, he doesn't even try to pretend to understand it.

Keith watched as two gladiators try to charge at him, but he jumped over one and quicky dodge its attack. 

"Keith!" That was Lance's voice. 

Keith didn't even try to look in his direction, instead he was focused on the gladiator that was about to attack him again. He raised his sword and quickly took it down. Just when he was about to turn around and deal with the one behind him. Keith felt himself being pushed away. He also felt himself fall to the ground.

He tried to keep his eyes on who pushed him. Keith saw Lance was now standing in his place. Panic was in Keith's chest. From his angle it looked like Lance was struck by the gladiator, but something told him otherwise. Lance pushed the gladiator back and Keith saw that Lance was using his shield. The panic quickly went away.

"You alright there mullet?" Lance made a comment as he quickly looked back at Keith. A smirk on Lance's face.

"I had it under control." Keith quickly said as he got up on his feet.

"A 'thank you' would be nice." Lance rolled his eyes.

Before Keith could say anything else, Lance was now gone from his view. Keith didn't even bother to say anything, so he went back to training.

It felt like a endless fight. Hunk was starting to get tried, even though this was their first round. Since they had training, this first battle could go on for a very long while. They all knew to watch each others backs and move quick. 

Training was something that Hunk didn't mind, if training was once a week. But Shiro wanted them to be prepared, they trained at least four times a week. Maybe even more. Hunk stopped counting on the first month, or phobe.

Hunk maybe big but that one of the things that actually helped him in fights. His weight was his strong point and he didn't mind using it. He threw his punch into a gladiator and watched it fall to the ground. He got used to the small pain in his fist when he would hit something. His armor suit would help heal him. One of the many things he was gratefully. Magic lions and their magic armor suits.

Pidge did explain to him how they worked. He also knows how the lions heal themselves. It was one thing to be smart tech wise. 

Hunk glanced over to Pidge who more focused on what's going on in front of her. Hunk saw a gladiator about to attack her. 

"Watch out!" Hunk quickly moved Pidge aside and hit the gladiator. Taking it down.

Pidge didn't say anything but kept fighting, which Hunk found odd. He knew Pidge would've said something. He quickly shrugged it off and started to focus again.

Lance didn't really focus on his team, he knew that they could handle themselves. But he couldn't help himself to sneak a glance at everyone once in awhile. It was an instinct, as Lance called it. He couldn't help himself to be concerned about his team. He knew that Shiro could handle himself, but Lance knew that he would help Shiro, if he needed it or not.

"Below." Lance said as he did a power slide between Shiro's legs.

Shiro didn't even seem to notice but Lance knew that he did. Lance took care of the gladiator and went back to fighting. Lance was now feeling himself getting out of breath. He was glad that his mom encouraged him to work out more.

"Up top!" Lance chuckled as he did a upper cut to a gladiator.

"Lance, focus." Shiro said sternly.

He just wished that the others didn't take this too seriously. But he was glad that they did.

Shiro wasn't out of breath. He wasn't tried. He wasn't distracted. He knew that training was important. He tried to watch his team mates to see if they were okay. He knew that could handle themselves, but he was their leader. One mistake is what it would take to mess everything up. Just one slip up and everyone could be dead. He wasn't going to let that happened.

"How's everyone doing?" Shiro took a gladiator down.

He looked at everyone.

"Fine." Keith said as he dodge an attack.

"I'm okay." Lance was helping Hunk.

"Okay." Hunk said.

Shiro waited for Pidge to say something. He was more focused on the gladiator that seemed to attack him repeatedly. But he waited for Pidge to say something.

He looked her way and saw that she was taking down gladiators and dodging them like they were nothing. He could see the fire in her eyes. Shiro knew that she was more focused than he was. A smile made its way to his face. He was proud that she was fighting and back on her feet.

\------------------

Sendak smirked as he watched the Green Paladin fight the gladiators. Haggar had a smirked on her face as well.

"The small one can fight." Haggar said. "Looks like you picked the right one Sendak."

"Well it seems like I'm not the only one." Sendak looked at Haggar. "From what I heard. You almost have the Champion in your grip."

"Soon. But you already have one. Zarkon will be please. He will be more please once we have the Black Paladin. That is our main focus now."

"The Green Paladin will help bring him to us. They all seem to care for her. I already have a plan." Sendak stood up straight. "Now. Let us see if she can take them all out. Once that's done, we can start the plan. This will be interesting."


	21. Testing the connection.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team fights Pidge.  
> They don't know what's going on.  
> Pidge doesn't know what's going on. She doesn't know where she is.  
> Allura and Coran think about how to proceed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very sorry for the late update.  
> But anyway, like I said, I'm not good with fighting scenes.  
> But you can judge me, I don't mind, how else will my writing get better.  
> Also if you watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I might post a story. It'll probably be longer than this story.  
> Also I do have another story I'm writing, a Voltron story.

Pidge floated in darkness. That panic was still there and it was still strong.

"Anyone?!" Pidge shouted.

It seemed like her voice bounced into the darkness and ecohed. Her voice rang in her eyes. She knew that shouting or yelling wasn't working. 

What she didn't know was, where she was.

She looked down at her body and saw that she was wearing her armor. She tried her thrusters on her suit. They seemed to work but Pidge didn't where she was. And she couldn't see anything. It was like she was in the darkest part of space, or nothingness.

The only questions was.

Where is she?

\------------------------

It happened so quickly. So quickly that no one saw it at first. The first person who noticed it was Hunk. He watched as Pidge took down a gladiator and use her robotic hand to shock it. He was surprised, but then again he shouldn't be. Because she used it before. Hunk guessed it was going to be one of those things that will never get old to see. He could see the fire in her eyes. 

Shiro was focused on the gladiator that was about to hit him, then it happened. He felt something.... No. Someone. He felt their arm around his throat, they had a tight grip around him. It was a head lock, Shiro at least knew that, he also knew that it wasn't a gladiator, this was one of his teammates.

"Wh-what are you doing?!" Shiro choked out, trying to losing their grip as best as he could.

It was then that he realized who it was. There was no mistaking those small arms for anyone else besides Pidge. He tried calling out for the others but they were still fighting the gladiators that they haven't realized. But luckily he taught the others to watch each others back. It was then that Hunk saw what was going on.

"Pidge?!"

Hunk ran to Shiro's aide. Only to quickly being kicked away from him by Pidge. He was surprised by her kick that almost sent him flying. 

"What the--!"

Shiro heard Lance shout out. It was then that Shiro felt need to have more air. Pidge had a tight grip around his neck. Air was starting to run very thin. Shiro felt himself kneel down on the ground, quickly losing consciousness.

"Pidge!" Keith shouted. "What are you doing?!"

Keith ran to Shiro's side and dodge Pidge's kicks. Hunk and Lance tried their best to get close to Shiro. Meanwhile, Keith was trying to pull Pidge off of Shiro.

Keith felt himself being pulled away and throw to the floor. He quickly looked up and saw a gladiator standing over him. Lance watched as this happened and tried to shout for the simtation to end but was cut off by a gladiator kicking him in the face.

Hunk eyes couldn't leave Shiro. He watched as Shiro fell to the floor and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. It was then that Hunk felt nothing but fear. More fear washed over him when Pidge made eye contact with him. She charged at him and punched him square in the jaw. Quickly taking out Hunk.

Lance finally took care of the gladiator that attacked him and ended the simulation. Lance looked over to Shiro was on the floor. His eyes found Pidge who was now charging at Hunk.

Before Lance could even shout something, he saw Hunk fall to the ground. Keith watch as Hunk hit the floor and not get back up.

"Pidge?" Lance's voice was weak and small.

Keith watched as Pidge made eye contact with Lance. Keith saw that she had a blank expression on her face. But it was her eyes that said something else. It was like she had fire in her eyes. Like this wasn't her. Keith knew that this wasn't her, she wouldn't do this to them.

"Pidge stop!" Keith shouted as he watch her charge at Lance.

It happened so fast that Keith almost didn't see what happened. He watched as Pidge quickly acitived her bayard and shock Lance. Keith saw that Lance wasn't moving. He then watched as Pidge looked his way.

"Pidge..." Keith tried his best to sound calm.

He didn't know if he did sound calm, but he really didn't care right now. It was in a split second that she charged at him. Damn her for moving so quickly. Keith cursed as he quickly moved out of the way. He then looked over to the others. It was small thing to notice but Keith could see that they were still breathing. Good.

"Pidge, you need to stop this." Keith said as he moved around in circles around her, trying to keep his distance. "You need to snap out of it."

Pidge didn't say anything. Her eyes were locked onto him. Keith knew that she was going to strike. She charged at him. Keith was ready to dodge but she slid on the floor and used her bayard. It hit Keith. It happened so quickly, Keith felt nothing but pain as she pushed deeper into his side with her bayard.

Keith cried out in pain, until he fell to the floor.

\---------------------

"Little One is stronger than she looks." Sendak had a smug grin on his face.

Haggar smirked as the Druids held their power over the Green Paladin.

"You think we should continue with the plan?" Haggar looked at Sendak. "The connection seems very strong. The Druids have complete control over her now."

"Yes, the plan." Sendak thought about it for a second. "No. We'll do the plan later. For now, let her go. Even if we do continue with the plan, we are not close enough for it to follow through. But, Let her set up traps. Before the other Paladin's wake."

Haggar nodded at Sendak's words. Watching as he left the room.

She then looked at the Druids. "You heard him."

The Druids nodded and continued.

\-------------------

"I think we should take break."

Coran took away the tablet that was laying on the table in front of Allura. Since the others were training, Allura wanted to run some simulation's to help Pidge. So far is wasn't working.

"There must be something that we're missing." Allura sighed. "There has to be something missing."

"Could be." Coran twirled his mustache in his fingers. "But in the meantime. Give your mind a bit of a rest. You have been working yourself quite hard since your talk with Keith."

Allura hummed in agreement. "You might be right. But I think Keith's idea's weren't far off. He could be right. If only there was a way. I just wonder how the Druids did it."

"Well..." Coran didn't take long to think about it, but he didn't want to talk about it. "Pidge suffered a lot while with the Druids. Their methods could be the reason why. Somehow they found a way to put their own quintessences in her body while her's disappeared. Which is a bit strange. Only Altean's would know how to do  
something like this."

Allura was deep in thought as soon as Coran stopped talking.

"What if.... " Allura started to say. "What if we.... we do the same?"

Coran was taken back by her words. "Allura?! I cannot--!"

"Nothing like that." Allura quickly said. "I'm just saying what if we try what they did. Just this time, we'll make sure she wouldn't be harmed. We somehow...."

"So, we are going to try Keith's idea." Coran said. "I must say. Keith may be on the right track, there's just one problem. How? The simulation's we've done shows we can't. Seems almost impossible."

"Maybe it's because it's never been done. And it's never been heard of. Think of it. Pidge should be dead, but she's not. To the both of us... It's just not possible. But it somehow is, I think we should just at least try it. Because right now, we have no ideas or anything."

Coran didn't like how she was thinking. But she was right. They have no idea's and nothing to go on. The Druids, Haggar and Sedank pulled of the impossible. To have someone live with another's quintessences. That's something only Altean's can do.

"How will we even began to do such a thing?" Coran asked. "Where could we even start?"

Allura looked at Coran. It seemed like she had a plan or an idea of how to start.

\------------------

Pidge didn't know what to do. She's pretty sure she can hear her team, but she's not quite sure of anything right now. She doesn't know why or how she's floating in darkness. Nothingness.

It doesn't take long for her to stop shouting into the darkness, or nothingness. Pidge was now thinking about how to get out of here. 

Wherever here is. 

While in the middle of thinking she felt it. It was like something was pulling at her. Pidge didn't like the feeling but it wasn't like she could do anything about it. 

A bright light seemed to almost blind her and she was now... seeing something.

Pidge looks around her and immediately recognizes where she's at.


	22. The Nickname.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How the nickname Pidge came to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Voltron really didn't explain how she got the nickname, if they did, I guess I really didn't pay attention or didn't do my research right.  
> But here's my take on how she got the nickname.  
> I know most fans say it has to do with pokemon. But.... I think that's just too easy.  
> I had to make it harder for me to write I guess.  
> Either way.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Katie is five years old when she gets the nickname:

Pidge.

Katie was screaming and running like her life depends on it. She could hear the noise that's behind her. She screams louder as she glances back.

"This way Katie!" Matt grabs her arm and pulls her with him. 

They both run and quickly find cover. Katie is breathing hard and Matt is too. Matt held his 'weapon' close to his chest. Just when Matt was about to peek out, a pair of hands grab him and pull him out. 

"My dinner!" 

Katie comes out of her hiding spot and sees her dad playfully pretend to eat Matt. Matt just goes into a fit of laughter.

"Kaite!" Matt laughs out. "Help me!"

Katie grabs Matt foam sword and swings at her dad. She misses him but her dad pretends that he is wounded and gently puts down Matt and falls down to the ground. Holding his 'wounded' gut and crying out in pain.

"I got you!" Katie then jumps on her dad stomach, he lets out a oof and smiles up at her. "Matt! I slayed the monster!"

Matt cheers for her and then poked at their dads face who now has his eyes closed.

"I'm not dead!" Sam eyes quickly open and roars out.

He grabs Katie and holds her close as she screams out laughing.

"Matty!" Katie giggles out. Trying to reach out to her brother.

Matt grabs his foam sword and starts swing at his dad. After the third hit, their dad goes back on the ground, playing dead. Sam lets go of his daughter and can finally catch his breath.

"Kids." Colleen, their mom walks up to the trio who is laughing. "I need your dad to help me real quick. Then he can play after we're done eating."

The kids seemed pouted but their dad just shots them a smile. "I'll be right back. Until then, Matt you're in charge."

"Aww." Katie whines. "Matt is always in charge. When can I be in charge?"

Sam seems to think about it as he smiles at her. "How about you can be in charge of the movie we can watch tonight? Does that sound fair?"

Katie's eyes light up and a huge smile appears on her face, she nods quickly. He smiles at her and walks inside the house. Their backyard is fairly huge for two kids. Katie and Matt love it.

"Come on Katie!" Matt starts running towards their sand pit. "Let's finish building our sand castle."

Katie runs after him and they start working.

\-----

Pidge doesn't understand. 

How is she seeing this? She doesn't know what she seeing. She was too young to remember but this memory is somewhat fuzzy to her. 

So, she let's it play out. It's the only thing she can do.

\-----

Katie is patting down the sand as Matt is pouring more into the pile. Her focus is on this sand castle and nothing else. 

That was until she hears something that interrupts her focus. She picks up her head and sees a flock birds not too far, land. They see to be eating something, Katie doesn't know what.

Matt notices her attention being drawn away from their sand castle and looks where she's looking. Katie seems memorized by the birds. To her, this seems to be the first time seeing them. She points at them and her mouth is open. She's trying to think of what they were called.

"P...puh..." 

The words seem hard to find now. She remembers her parents telling her what they were called. But she can't remember now. 

"Pi..." Katie tries again. "Pi... Pig!"

Matt shake his head at her. "That's not a pig. It's a bird."

"Bird?" Katie tilts her head, she's really confused. 

She is pretty certain that they aren't called birds. It started with the letter P but she doesn't seem to know the word. Her mind is searching of the correct word.

"No." Katie shakes her head. "Daddy called them... Puh... Pi...Pig.. gone?"

Matt looks at her, his seems more confused than her at this point. He really doesn't know what she's talking about. 

"P... "Katie tries again. "Pig... pidge."

"Oh!" Matt exclaims. "Pigeon. Not pidge."

"Pidge." Katie says more confidently, a smile on her face. "It's a pidge."

"It's a pigeon." Matt corrects her again. "Pigeon."

"Pidge!" Katie jumps to her feet and runs towards the birds.

Once she was only a few feet away, they fly away. Katie watches them in awe as the birds fly into the air.

"Katie!" Matt calls out to her. "They are pigeons!"

"Pidge!" Katie points to them as they disappear further into the sky. "Pidge's!"

Matt was about to argue with her but he heard the back door open and see their parents.

"Are you guys okay?" Sam walks closer to Matt. "I hear a lot of shouting. Are you two fighting again?"

"No." Matt shakes his head and points to Katie. "She's calling the pigeons pidge. I'm just trying to tell her they're called pigeons."

"Pidge!" Katie stomps her foot. Determined of the word she is saying is right.

Because she is sure they are called pidge and not pigeons. 

Sam smiles at his wife and then looks at Matt. "She can call them pidge if she wants too. Maybe she can't say the word pigeon right. So her saying pidge is her way of saying it right."

Katie smiles again as she sees more birds fly above her. "Pidge!" Katie points to the air.

Matt doesn't really like how Katie is saying the word wrong.

\----

Pidge still doesn't get it. She doesn't know why or how is seeing this memory so clearly. 

Even to her, this memory is fuzzy but she can see it so clearly now.

\----

Katie is sitting on the couch playing with her toys. She could hear and smell dinner being made.

"Pidge." Matt sits himself next to her on the couch.

Katie doesn't say or do anything. 

"Pidge." Matt shakes her arm to get her attention. "Pidge."

Katie looks at him, she doesn't know why he's calling her that. 

"Katie." She pouts. "Not pidge."

"That's all you say yesterday." Matt smiled. "So, you're now Pidge. Pidge."

"Katie."

"Pidge."

"Katie."

"Pidge."

It doesn't take long for it to become a screaming match. It also doesn't take long for them to start chasing each other around the house. Matt is the one being chased by Katie who has her sock in hand, ready to throw it at him.

"Pidge!" Matt taunts her as he runs into his room.

"Katie!" 

Matt grabs his foam sword and swings it around, laughing. Katie grabs a water gun and starts to fire at him. It doesn't take very long for her to start laughing along with him. 

It doesn't take long for them to forget about their fight. It also doesn't take long for Katie to be called Pidge. 

It's a nickname she hates, but she answers to it.

\----

The name Pidge doesn't last too long after it started. Katie really hates the nickname.

Katie is six years old when she really decides to hate the name Pidge. She tells Matt not to call her by that nickname again. It wasn't a bad fight but it's one they both remember well.

So Matt, the big caring brother he is, he stops. For her, but it wasn't easy to stop. He got a lot of bruises from her throwing stuff at him everytime he accidentally called her Pidge. 

Eventually he learned to stop.

It wasn't until Katie turned twelve that the nickname comes back.

Matt comes walking her room and sits down on her bed, smiling like he was up to something. Katie knew this look, it was a sign that he wasn't up to no good at all.

"Let me finish my homework, at least." Katie sighed, already annoyed by him. "I'm almost done."

"Sure thing," Matt has that voice, Katie knows something is up now. "Pidge."

Before Katie can even turn fully towards him, he ran off. Katie had a book in hand, ready to throw at him.

"Matt!" Katie shouts out at him.

The nickname starts to stick again. Katie had gotten use to it ever since Matt joined the Garrison. She let him call her Pidge, even though she hates it and tells him in front of his face. Matt just smiles everytime she gets mad.

\-----

Pidge doesn't understand why she's seeing these memories. Why these memories about her nickname?

\----

Matt was now going to go on a big mission. A mission that Garrison had picked Matt for. At first Katie was happy for her father and brother. They were going to go on a different planet. Her and her mom couldn't be more happier for them.

It was then she started studying harder than she did. Even though her brother and father said she's already smart enough. But it didn't stop her.

She did it so that one day she could do what her brother and father are doing. Exploring different planets. 

Then it hit her. They were going to be gone for a very long time. Katie didn't like that. They would miss holidays and birthdays. But she knew that even though they would be gone, doesn't mean they can't celebrate when they got back.

It's a few weeks until they leave. Matt and Katie are on the roof. Matt is typing stuff on his laptop. Katie doesn't understand why he's always on it. 

Technology isn't that great. 

Matt talks about a code from a book. Messages for her to read in secret. Matt told her, that as long as she has the book, they can talk without the Garrison ever knowing.

It's a few days until they leave. And in those few days, they have to stay at the Garrison to prepare and plan. Her father explained it as best as he could, Katie was just sad that they were leaving.

Matt talks about him not needing his glasses. Katie holds his glasses. She pushes him to the ground, making a promise to him. 

Matt believes her.

Matt calls her Pidge and then fixes his mistake, calling her Katie instead. 

Pidge doesn't mind the name Pidge anymore. 

To her doesn't take long for her to find out the news about her family. Her world comes crashing down very quickly. 

\----

Pidge doesn't like this memory. She tries to push it away but it doesn't do anything. 

\----

Pidge cuts off her hair. It almost painful for some reason. But it's something she has to do.

She puts on Matt's glasses and walks into the Garrison building. 

Pidge Gunderson walks into the Garrison building.

\----

Pidge doesn't understand anything that she's seeing. 

'Family.'

A voice booms so loud. A voice Pidge recognizes quickly.

Sendak.

'A weakness indeed. Don't worry. Soon you won't care for them.'

Pidge felt her heart race.

'Don't worry.' Sendak chuckled. 'You won't remember this. But I will see you soon. Little One.'

It was then, Pidge's mind quickly crashes down. Everything went blank.


	23. The need to help.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge and Allura talk about what to do now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for uploading late. The holidays had me very busy at work and such. But I wanted to upload for today.  
> So. I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
> Also there are probably mistakes in this. Right now I'm trying to enjoy my time with my family. I will fix them soon.

Shiro looked down at his plate, he saw that he barely ate anything. He then looked at everyone else who was sitting down at the table. They also had not eaten that much either. He couldn't help himself to always be looking at Pidge's empty seat.

Currently, she had locked herself in her room since the incident. She hasn't spoken a word to anyone, only to Allura. 

It was Allura who found the others in the training deck, picking themselves up from the floor. She had ask what had happened. It was Keith who explained what had happened to them. Since he was the one who seen almost the whole fight. Allura had Coran look after the other's while see went looking for Pidge.

It took awhile but Allura found her in the Central Energy Chamber. She didn't know why Pidge was here. But she found her laying on the ground. Allura told Coran over the comms that she found Pidge.

Pidge didn't take very long to wake. When she did wake, she was confused and wondered what had happened. Allura didn't know what to say, to tell the truth or just keep it from her a little longer. But Allura knew that telling Pidge the truth would be better.

After finding out what she did, Pidge ran to her room and locked herself in it.

"I think I should bring Pidge some food." Lance finally broke the silence at the table. "She needs to eat."

"You need to eat too." Shiro said, looking at everyone. "All of you need to eat."

"What about you?" Keith frowned. "You haven't eaten either."

Shiro sighed as he scoop up some food and decided to eat. The others slowly followed him. They ate in silence.

\-----------------------

Pidge sat in the middle of her bed, working on her laptop. Trying to keep herself busy. Working on anything will do for her. 

So right now Pidge was working on the castle's defence systems. She's impressived herself, she fixed many things and upgraded it in such a sort time.

Everything was a huge blank, everything that Allura said she did. In some ways Pidge does believe it. She knows that she did hurt her team. But she doesn't remember it. She can't help the feeling that it was the Druids doing. She knows that they can control her, at first she thought it was just a theory. But after what happened, it was true.

The Druids could control her. Pidge is smart enough to know that. What she doesn't understand now is why they aren't controlling her now. They had her under their grip and they just let her go. 

She's afraid that they are planning something bigger and Pidge knows that she probably can't stop it.

Pidge remembers floating in darkness and the memories that appeared right in front of her. She doesn't what the memories have to do with anything. If the Druids are controlling her, then do they control what she can and cannot see? 

Pidge quickly stopped thinking about everything and wanted to keep her mind off of it for now. Right now the pods might need some upgrades.

\---------------------

Lance was helping Hunk with the leftover food and trying to make small talk.

"You think there's a planet where trees can make sandwiches?" Lance asked.

"Could be." Hunk shrugged. "I mean Shay's planet is a living creature."

"Do you two still talk?" 

"Yeah. I've been asking Shiro and Allura if we could stop by and say hi or something."

"Or something." Lance smirked as Hunk. "You just want to see your girlfriend again."

"We're just friends!" Hunk wasn't even looking at Lance. "What's wrong with just dropping by to see if she's okay or something?"

"Or something." Lance repeated.

Hunk pushed Lance and he almost lost his balance. Hunk chuckled as Lance regain his balance.

"Just wait until we start training again." Lance said. "Then for sure we can have that rematch."

"Well I guess we--"

"What are you two fighting about now?"

Hunk and Lance turned to the entrance of the door and saw Keith standing there. Keith walked in and leaned against the wall, arms crossed. Lance deemed this as the Keith pose. Everyone laughs when they see this pose.

"A rematch." Lance smiled. "Remember when I took Hunk down? Well, Hunk here thinks I just got lucky."

"You did." Keith deadpanned. "I remember the look on your face when he fell. You seemed more surprised than Hunk was."

"Well I still won the fight." Lance started to pout as he crossed his arms.

Keith listened to Hunk and Lance talk for awhile until he realized something.

He frowned at Lance. "Wait. Weren't you going to bring food to Pidge?"

"Oh." Lance seemed sadden by Keith's words. "Allura said it's best if she brings her food. She's pretty sure Pidge doesn't want to see us yet."

"Shouldn't we be mad at her?" Keith was confused. "Not the other way around? I mean.... I didn't mean like we should be mad at her but...."

"I get it." Hunk said. "But we all know that whatever happened, it wasn't really Pidge. Me and Lance have been talking. We think that she just had a flashback sort of thing. You know? Like what happened the last time."

"I think this is different." Keith said. "For some reason... It was like that wasn't even her. I was there when I found her the first time. I-it's hard to explain, but.... I could just tell by her eyes."

Lance frowned at Keith's words. Hunk was trying his best to at least understand it. But Keith knew that they couldn't understand what he meant. Even he couldn't explain to himself. But her knew that there was something different this time. He could tell by her eyes. He just couldn't figure out what.

\-------------------------

"I think it's best if we run some test on you." Allura blurted out as soon as Pidge was about half way through her meal.

Allura quickly wanted to talk to Pidge as soon as she entered the Green Paladins room but she knew that Pidge wouldn't eat anything. So Allura made small talk with Pidge.Trying to let the youngest Paladin eat first before she could say a word of what she really wanted to say.

Pidge slowly chewed her food as she looked at Allura. Pidge quickly swallowed her food down with water and said. "S-sure. But what are you going to be looking for?"

"Maybe we can study the quintessences within you." Allura continued. "Coran and I have been running some test on our own but maybe if we can--"

"Okay." Pidge interrupted, shrugging. "I mean you can do it. I just want to help, that's all."

They sat in silence as Pidge decided to eat again.

Allura watched how Pidge's robotic hand moved like how a hand would. Allura had actually seen her fair share of people having prosthetic limbs. Back when her father was alive and she wanted to help him with diplomatic stuff she barely understood at the time. Back then it was somewhat simpler to her.

Allura remembered meeting a man who had lost his legs and seem happier. The man would talk endlessly about battles he fought and it seemed like he didn't mind people staring at his legs. It was when Allura asked about it, the man seemed like he was reliving a memory. Allura didn't seem to know if it was good or bad memory.

He would go on to explain about how he was in battle and a ship exploded right above him. Pieces went flying everywhere around him, only to have one huge piece land on top of him. How he had to cut himself free because no one else was there to him help. Allura, at the time, hated how he explained it in full detail. What he felt and how he thought he was going to die.

Allura wondered what Pidge felt. She wondered if Pidge would be like the man she met when she was younger. 

Happy. Happy and not afraid to relive and tell a memory that haunts her now. Allura hoped that Pidge can at least get through this.

Allura's eye went back to Pidge's prosthetic hand, and how seemed to almost blend in with her. Of course it stood out. After all the robotic hand was almost like a dark grey. It seem to go up in the long selve of her shirt. The knuckles of the robotic hand, had a tint of green lights running throughout her robotic hand. The wrist is where it glowed green the most. 

Allura didn't expect anything else of the Green Paladin. 

\---------------------

Shiro wasn't the type of person to pretend to know stuff that he didn't understand. He doesn't even at least try. But here he is, listening to Coran talking about quintessences and.... another word he already forgot.

"I think if we just take a little bit out then--"

"Coran?" Shiro interrupted, trying best to sound polite as possible. "I think you should talk to Allura about this. To be honest I'm not the type of person you should be talking to about this."

Corna hummed. "I guess you're right. But it seems Allura and I are both stuck right now. We both seem to be hitting a dead end."

"Maybe you could try to talk Hunk about it? I think he might help, or at least have an idea of what to do."

"I've tried that." Coran said. "It seems Hunk doesn't really understand it as much as we do. I think Pidge might help us."

"She might. But I think it's up to her. We can't force to do something that she might be uncomfortable doing."

The're thoughts and talking stopped when Allura entered the room. She looked at Coran and then at Shiro.

"How is she?" Shiro asked. "Is she okay?"

"She's doing good, she ate." Allura said. "I've talked to her about running some test on her."

"How did she take it?" 

"She said that she doesn't mind at all. She just wants to help us figure everything out. Has Coran told everything we've tried?"

Shiro just gave her his best smile. "Uh.. he tried. I don't I really understand anything at all. But I will go so you two can talk. I'm going to see how the others are doing."

\--------------------------

"Seems your Little One did a good job." Haggar looked at Sendak. "She did everything she was told."

"Good." Sendak said. "I think that soon we will see them. Zarkon gave me a new mission. An attack. That should bring Voltron to us. A fight they will lose. With almost two Paladins in our hands. We will finally have the Lion's and their Paladin's on our side. Once and for all, we can finally rule the whole galaxy."


	24. The Pain. A talk.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge helps with Allura with what she knows.  
> Pidge also decides to tell Shiro about what had happened when she attacked them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter.  
> Sorry I've been way too busy with other stuff due to with what's going on right.  
> But I do hope you enjoy this.

"I remember the pain." Pidge looked at Allura. "I really don't know how they did it. Just.... just that it felt like they were tearing my limbs apart."

Allura winced at her words, she knew that Pidge is a straight forward person. So her describing her torture, it was something that Allura thought she was half expecting hear. But she didn't interrupt Pidge.

"Do you remember if it felt like it was because they putting their quintessence's in you?" Allura pressed on with her questions. "Or was it like they were taking something from you?"

Pidge never thought about that. It was just the pain she felt. 

"I-I don't know." Pidge looked down at her hands that where in her lap. "It just hurt. I guess... I mean--..... if I really thought about it. I think that were doing both. I guess that's why it felt like I was being torn apart."

It was almost like a lightbulb in Allura's head.

"Coran." Allura looked over at Coran who was typing in his tablet. "Did you hear that?"

"Yes." Coran hummed. "That would make more sense. It also helps us more. I'll run a quick test."

Allura then looked at Pidge. "You remember anything else? Something that was.... out of the ordinary?"

Pidge hummed as she thought hard. "Well...."

Pidge quickly shook off the thought of telling Allura. Pidge wasn't ready yet to tell anyone. 

"Pidge?" Allura broke her thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"Uh...." Pidge felt like she had to press on. "The Druids--.... When I died.... They would.... I really can't explain it. But like I said it before, they're the ones that brought me back. Haggar just told them to keep me alive. To be honest the pain was too intense to notice at first."

Allura was trying to best not to ask too many questions while Pidge talked.

"But..." Pidge continued. "I think they took my quintessence."

\------------------------------

"I think it's time for something new."

The thought of picking up her head had crossed her mind. Instead Pidge just closed her eyes, sleep was sounding good.

But more pain was quickly brought to her, the feeling of her body, like it was on fire made her scream.

"I'm getting very tired of you falling asleep." Sendak growled. "Do it again and I will bring your friends back in."

She knew that she had to go on. To stay awake. 

Not for her but for her friends. She didn't want them to be in this kind of pain.

Pidge picked up her head and look Sendak in the eyes. She hated the fact that he would smile all the time. She knew that she would do something about that when she could do something about it.

"Haggar wants sample's." Sendak turned to a Druid. "Get some. I don't care how. Just make it painful."

Pidge watched as the Druid nodded.

Fear quickly came in when she saw the Druids talking in a language she didn't understand.

"While they're busy..."

Sendak got closer to Pidge and then dug his fingers into her side. Pidge held back a scream. She could hear her flesh be moved. Pidge tried to fight back the scream and cries.

Sendak hummed as he dug deeper.

Pidge couldn't hold back anymore. Tears quickly fell down her face. Sobs were slipping out.

"Stop moving." Sendak glared at her. "Or I'll bring one of you friends in."

Pidge tried her best to not move but it seemed almost impossible. 

"Seems your kind can handle pain when it comes to it." Sendak smirked. "Now...."

Sendak pulled out his hand and pulled out a cloth, wiping her blood off of his hand.

"I'll shall return in a few varga's. Be good for the Druids. Is that understood?"

Pidge slowly nodded. She hated herself for it but she knew not to question him.

\--------------------------------

"I don't think that's the case." Allura said. "There's no way someone can do that. Even Altean's can't do that."

Pidge sighed. "I know. but I think that's what they were doing when they would bring me back to life."

"Number Five." Coran stepped up. "I think we had enough for today. Maybe you see the others. They have been worried about you."

Pidge couldn't look them in the eyes. She knew that she couldn't avoid her team forever. It was the fact that the Druid's could control her anytime they wanted. Pidge was scared of what could be planning. She knew that they were planning something.

It was just of matter of when. 

Pidge didn't know how they would react. Would they hate her? Or would they forgive her? She knew the answer. But there was still a chance.

Coran watched as Pidge exit the room, he looked at Allura who was too busy looking at her tablet.

"You know it could be possible." Coran said. "When the body dies, a persons quintessence has nothing to attached itself too."

Allura sighed and slowly shut her eyes. "I know." She opened her eyes and had nothing but worry in them. "That's the worst part. It means we can't really do nothing about it. If they do what she said then...."

"I'm sure there's a way. We'll find it."

It seemed like false hope for Allura. Quintessence is something that was simple but at the same time it wasn't. It was true what Coran said. Once a person dies, the quintessence has nothing to attached itself too. Meaning the person quintessence almost float inside the body. 

Allura knew why the Druid's let her die so many times. To take her quintessence and put some of there's into it. So, the Druid's probably went through the same thing Pidge did. Dying to make sure they could do there little science experiment.

A sick way to do it. It made Allura sick. It made her angry. She could feel her blood boil.

"We have to find a way." Allura muttered as she walked out of the room.

\---------------------------------

Shiro walked out of the training room, wiping the sweat off of his face. 

"S-Shiro?"

Shiro looked to the voice and saw Pidge leaning against the wall.

"Pidge?" Shiro had a look of concern on his face. "Are you okay? Is something wrong?"

"No. N-nothing's wrong."

He was worried about her. Pidge didn't expect anything else from him.

"I-...." Pidge sighed. "I just wanted to talk to you. About what happened

"O-oh. Sure. But I can tell you right now. It's fine."

"You don't understand." Pidge felt nervous. "It's not fine."

"Pidge." Shiro's expression soften. "Of course it is. Everyone is fine. Right now we're just worried about you. We haven't seen you in awhile. You've been keeping yourself busy."

"Shiro." Pidge had a stern voice that surprised him. "There's something wrong with me."

"What do you mean?"

Pidge swallowed hard and rubbed her face. "Okay. It's the Druid's. I think they're planning something. And I think I'm part of that plan." Shiro was about to speak but Pidge continued. "Please don't say anything. Just listen." 

Shiro nodded and let her speak. 

"When I attacked you guys... I don't remember anything. I'll be honest with you. I think the Druid's are controlling me somehow. Because I don't remember a single thing that happened when we were training. I think it has something to do with them taking my quintessence and putting theirs inside of me. I mean I put the pieces together sometime ago but it make senses."

Pidge wanted to keep talking but it seemed hard to talk about it. She didn't know why but she knew that she needed to keep going. Because she knew that she could trust Shiro and he could protect the team from her, if anything was to happen.

"What do you think we should do?" Pidge asked instead. "Because Shiro, I'm scared. I don't know what to do for the first time in my life."

Shiro could her the pain in her voice. He could see the tears forming in her eyes. Pidge was looking to him for help. 

And for the first time in his life. 

Shiro felt like he didn't know what to do to.

\----------------------------------

"Trust me." Sendak saluted in front of the screen. "I'll have the all of the Paladin's and the Lion's in a few quintant's."

"Good." 

Even with Zarkon behind a screen, his voice was deep and loud. 

"If you fail me again, I'll take care of you myself."

"Understood." Sendak slightly nodded, trying to meet eyes with Zarkon.

\------------------------------------

Keith leaned against the wall, listening to Lance talk about flirting. Keith saw Hunk listen with worry. Since apparently that Lance was teaching him.

"You have to make sure your pick up line is good." Lance smiled.

Keith rolled his eyes for what seemed like a hundred times by now.

"Um...." Hunk looked defeated. "I'm pretty sure you're pick up lines don't work all the time. Remember when you got slapped by that--"

"We don't talk about that!" Lance pouted. "We never talk about that. Again."

Hunk smirked and shook his head. 

Keith sighed and decided to join in. "Have you even kissed another girl?"

Lance gawked. "Wh-w-what?! Of course I have!"

Keith smiled and looked at Hunk. "He hasn't. So, try not to worry about it too much."

"What?!" Lance yelled. "Hunk don't listen to him! Because I know that Keith hasn't even had a crush on a girl yet."

"Whatever." Keith couldn't help but roll his eyes again. "Just don't go giving advice when you know nothing about it."

"I know more than you!"

"I'm pretty sure we know about that same." Keith sighed. "Just because you flirt a lot doesn't mean you're the expert."

"Well--!"

Their talking stopped when the doors opened to the kitchen. Lance seemed like he froze in place.

"Hey Shiro." Hunk slightly waved at Shiro. "D-dinner is going to be made soon. Lance and Keith were about to argue again."

Shiro didn't say anything, he just looked at everyone with.... worry?

Keith knew something was wrong. "Shiro? Is everything okay?"

Shiro sighed and slowly shut his eyes, then opening them. Looking at everyone. "Pidge.... She thinks that the Druid's are controlling her."

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always welcome. My writing may not be perfect but I try. Error's are probably in here. Tell me and I'll try my best to fix it. Hope you enjoyed this read.  
> Also I will write side stories about Pidge and what happened.  
> I'm not going to give up until I finish this story.


End file.
